Finding love gets harder the older you get. Our looks fade. Our patience wears thin. And eligible people are generally taken.
Finding love is a race against time. Don't think your beauty will last forever, because it won't. Don't think your ideal someone will always be out there because he or she will be locked down by another.
There is nothing better than finding someone you love and want to grow old with. As we all experience the plight of the global pandemic, having someone to go through difficult times is also great.
Love trumps money. Make sure you spend as much time seeking love as you do building wealth.
Finding Love Is Difficult
Tracy was 27 when I first met her playing co-ed softball in 2003. She always wore her skin-tight Lululemon shorts and all the guys would stare as she jutted her butt out in a proper stance every time she was at bat.
One game, she managed to get on base four times in a row. She was good! Tracy was a blend of German Puerto Rican ancestry and the guys just loved her, just like how every guy loves Jessica Alba.
After every game, the guys would swarm Tracy to try and get her attention. We’d always go to some bar afterward, and Tracy got all the free drinks and appetizers she wanted. It was evident that the rest of the girls were annoyed with all the attention Tracy was getting. Unfortunately, for them, they weren’t as attractive, so the guys really didn’t care. Shallow right?
Despite all her good looks, Tracy had one big problem. She lacked self-esteem. Whenever someone would complement her, instead of simply saying “thank you” and complement the person back, Tracy would look down to the ground and shy away.
Sometimes, she'd simply ignore him. Her silence often was construed as being bitchy unfortunately. It takes forever for her to open up, but when you finally get to know her more, you realize she’s a nice but incredibly dull person.
Some Background On Tracy
Tracy was a system administrator at a large insurance company where she made a respectable $85,000 a year. She’s been living with her same roommate from college since 2000 in a cozy two bedroom, one bathroom apartment for $1,800 a month – an absolute bargain in San Francisco.
Tracy and I kept in touch for several years until we just stopped communicating at one point in early 2008. I moved on with my life, and I assumed she did as well. It’s sad how we lose touch with acquaintances over time. But, that's what happens when life gets in the way. Maintaining relationships takes effort!
One afternoon, I ran into Tracy on my bus ride back from work. I was surprised because almost 4 years had passed since we last spoke. We started living up old times and I asked her what she was up to.
Surely, at 35 years old, she was seeing someone or was married by now I presumptuously thought to myself. Instead, she was still single and living in the same cozy apartment with her same roommate, who so happens to also be 35 and single.
Catching Up
We rode the bus to an area where we could get a drink and catch up for more than our 20 minute bus ride would allow. Somewhat embarrassed, Tracy told me that she hadn’t been on a date in one year after she broke up with her ex-boyfriend. “We were good friends for 5 years until we decided to start dating. That lasted 6 months and now we don’t even talk,” Tracy lamented.
“I felt that once I turned 30, my life was over. Good looking guys slowly stopped talking to me and I can’t figure it out whether it’s because of my age, or because I can’t carry my own in a conversation,” Tracy went on to say. “Really old and gross guys who could be my father's age would start chatting me up. I hated it.“
Tracy still looked good, but I could tell she had definitely aged quite a bit from our days playing softball together. She wore heavy make up to conceal her wrinkles, which simply made her look even older. “You look great Tracy!” I told her, trying to cheer her up. She oozed an insecurity that would deflate the most helium-infused balloon. Even Bobo the Clown wouldn't be able to cheer her up. Her low sense of self-worth somehow made her unattractive.
Being Single Over 30
I don’t know what it’s like to be single in my 30s, but I’d have to imagine that as a guy with a job living in a big city like San Francisco, it could be pretty fun.
Yet with Tracy, she hates every minute of her 30s. She curses the city and her misfortune. She also curses 27 year old girls for taking all the good-looking, available men. Isn’t it ironic that she was that same girl 8 years ago who was despised?
“When I was 27, I got all the attention. I could have practically any guy I wanted. I took my youth for granted because everybody always treated nicely. I felt special and that’s all I’ve ever known. I know that I’m not unattractive, yet I don’t know why I don’t have more self-confidence. Now that I’m older, I have more self-confidence but I have less of a selection. Do I really have to go out with guys in their late-40s and 50s to find someone now?” Tracy asked.
I empathize with Tracy because guys seem to have more selection the older we get while women have less. At the same time, women always seem to prefer dating men that are the same age or older.
I remember my female friends in their 20s always look down upon guys their age or younger because they “weren’t mature enough.” Men, on the other hand are more open to dating younger and older women. As men age, we naturally have more of a selection because our pool gets bigger. Just imagine, when we are 100, we can date everyone!
A Small Window For Finding Love
According to Tracy, there really seems to only be a short 5-7 year window for a woman to find an ideal man before her opportunity fades. Tracy says she and her friends out of college wanted to experience the world, work on their careers and not be tied down by anything or anyone.
They knew they could have the pick of the litter, and only when they turned 27 did they think about settling down. What they didn’t realize was that their beauty would fade, and if they didn’t find someone by the time they were 30, it became exponentially harder to find their Prince Charming since he had already moved on to someone else, and maybe a younger someone, who is much more open to settling down.
With each year that passes, Tracy feels more and more lost. She used to joke about being a “Panther” in her 20s, locking down any man she wants with a simple demure look.
The Cougar Rises
At 35, she admits she’s now a “Cougar”, stalking her weak, older, less in shape victims. Tracy hasn’t lost hope she will one day meet the man of her dreams. She just now realizes that she should have had more confidence and taken advantage of her good looks while she was younger. Tracy is financially secure and has a good career, but she would give it all up to be young again and in love.
Update 11/3/2020: Tracy is now 44 years old and is dating someone. But due to he age, she has no children. She is still working and enjoys playing softball.
Related: The Ideal Age To Have A Baby
Readers, is life over for single women in their 30s like Tracy believes? Why do attractive women sometimes have a very difficult time finding a soul-mate? Do attractive people have a false sense of security? Have you ever treated someone differently because they were more attractive?
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Adele's song “Someone Like You” sums up this post perfectly.
Finding Love Now At Any Age
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Regards,
Sam
Just amazes me the BS post wall women tell each other to increase hopes where there is none available to increase it with. Post wall women who clicked on this should have clicked on factual government statics on this subject so they can move on with their lives and give up on finding happiness with a man. I promise that the men you have a chance with are not looking for you. The ones you do find are going to be un attractive in the looks department so if your low enough to settle for a man you will never look at in person and find attractive thats your only hope. Should have snagged that great guy when you had the chance like 15 20 years ago. You blew it. Single older men are happier being single than single older women in general. Feminism lied to you..
You nailed it.
Very independent women everywhere now, and they think their all that too.
Just look at all the wanna be barbie doll women that really do think they’re all that nowadays, but aren’t really at all to begin with. Total real losers altogether.
Funny how it use to be very easy finding love years ago when women back then didn’t have so many very high unrealistic expectations that they have now these days unfortunately. Most women are very greedy, selfish, spoiled, picky, and very money hungry now more than ever since it is only about them. So with many of these very pathetic women around now, of course it will be very hard for many of us single men to find love today as we get much older. And with most of these women being such real gold diggers these days, which certainly explains it all.
I think Tracys downfall was/is that she fell into the lie, that one needs a man to be happy.
The truth is: you don’t.
For most women it is the opposite, really. Look at studies and you will see that women suffer more often from depression and even die earlier when they are married!
For a lot of women life gets dramatically better, when they get older and realize that they do not need a guy in their life. Of course some (very loud) men on the internet do not want to hear that. You can find them everywhere preaching about “how bad women have become” and “how much they will regret not settling down when young”.
Do not buy into this!
If you so happen to find love with a great person that is awesome!
If you do not find someone who is nice and treats you with respect PLEASE do NOT “settle”! It will only bring you heartache and pain.
And the most important: stop believing your life’s central point lies in romance. Friends are at least as important as a romantic partner and it can be nice to share your life with someone.
— The same goes for men! —
Telling people they will be so lonely and they will so regret their decisions if not lowering their standards and choose someone will just set them up for misery.
I very much hope for Tracy that she will learn how much happier she is when letting go of this concept.
(For some women it might be the wish for children then desire for a man. Remember: you can have children without a man!)
You’re lying to yourself, they didn’t buy into any lie, the natural aspect of starting family kicked in, people who end up alone in their 40s and 50s are more likely to commit suicide or hoard cats which is a form of mental illness, you must be like her and trying to comfort yourself by convincing yourself that you don’t need a partner.
No you can’t, adopted kids may dump you and go search for their biological parents as they are not related to you and don’t carry any of your characteristics, I’ve seen many cases where adopted kids move away from foster parents to find their biological ones, for the last time, Stop trying to spin around nature to fill your delusional thoughts, you don’t win those, the best you can do is lie to yourself.
It is not true. As I recently just turned 30 and I am still single , i am starting to feel desperate. I cant even sleep at night. Most people i know are already married or at least a couple , while i ended a very long relationship 2 years ago cos i didnt want to marry him and i wanted to be alone for a while, only to find out later that i have no idea how to start over dating again , especially when most men around my age are already taken or looking for girls 5 yo younger than me.
Now i am terrified cos i am thinking that i will die miserable and alone with no kids and it is not easy to have a kid by urself and adopting isnt always a good option , cos this kid isnt ur blood so u cant know how things will turn out.
Meanwhile i agree that it is better to be single than to be with the wrong person or in a bad marriage, but being lonely isnt good at all. I am just 30 and i feel despair, cant even imagine how it will be even later when i wont be at all young anymore.
After all ,getting married by stupid love and split apart later will leave you at least with your kids , which i realized now , cos when i was younger i used to say i will never want to have kids.
The real problem is that most women are very picky nowadays, very selfish, greedy, spoiled, and very money hungry as well unfortunately. And a lot of women just want a rich guy instead of just settling down with an ordinary man, and can’t just accept him for who he really is.
you sound like a typical man
You almost nailed it. Maybe you made a little mistake? Instead of ” PEOPLE who end up alone” should be, WOMEN who end up alone? I know a ton of men in their 40’s and 50’s and none of them have ever shown even a tiny sign of unhappiness and certainly none of them have committed suicide.
Her comment reads to me that she has a red pill at her lips and is hesitating swallowing it. Pretty much a red pill rager in the making and soon.
Then again, so many women are Gay nowadays as well.
Holy smokes there are/is a lot of bad attitude, resentment, bitterness and gender-warfare going on in these comments. I considered writing my comment about the comments I’ve seen here, but I’ve thought otherwise.
So here are my thoughts instead. I’m 45 years old and have never in my life been more ready, prepared and eager to find a partner that will last. I’ve had relationships, but only one carried the slim prospect of marriage or an otherwise long-term commitment. That was on her. She was the classic emotionally unavailable, and eventually I had had enough. Ironic, as I’ve often been emotionally unavailable myself. I do not characterize myself that way any longer though. Intimacy is something I long for, unquestionably, despite being perfectly capable and content existing independently.
What is in the past however I’ve learned from it and I’ve grown in the meantime from my experiences and have worked incredibly hard to ensure that *I* could be the best possible partner to someone else. I’m no pushover or people-pleaser nor am I particularly insecure. I am tremendously self-aware however. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses, I accept them and I don’t hide my feelings about myself. I do not nor will I ever pretend to be a hyper self-assured person. I have insecurities and I love that about myself. I am nothing but purely honest about who I am.
That said, from my perspective these personality characteristics and others make meeting people and most importantly making a good early impression and giving people a reason to build stronger interest in me challenging to say the least. I believe people in the dating scene are incredibly superficial, or I might phrase it differently, they’re unevolved. Animal instincts trump intellect in the dating world. We’re reduced to animals, working off the ‘scent’ of our prospective partner rather than intellectually determining their worth and value and potential. I have found this to be as true as any other truth in our ‘single’ circumstances. We’re animals in this dating world, nothing more, so unless you have that uncommon ability to attract animalistically you will always struggle.
I will say one more thing as well. Squarely in my mid-40s, squarely in middle age, I do not want to date younger. Certainly an interesting 35 year old will catch my eye, but I’m not targeting that person for dating and beyond. I would never disqualify anyone based on age, so a connection with a younger woman would be pursued further, but I’m not out here in my world seeking out younger companionship. I want someone I can relate to, to connect with, and the chances of that are simply higher with someone my age.
The thing is though, women my age don’t provide opportunities for men like me. I am unquestionably a good looking man, to many at least, but of course not to all. Attractive enough, and definitely compared to other men my age I really have my **** together. I work very hard on maintaining my health, my mind and body. I’m responsible, hard working, successful in what I do, intelligent and reasonably content in my circumstances. There’s nothing tremendously and overtly ‘unattractive’ about me, I believe.
And yet, do I get eye contact? Does anyone demonstrate their attraction? Do women smile at me when I smile at them? Do I ever catch a women looking in my direction? Do women even remotely attempt to know who I am?
The answer is no. They don’t, and I have not in the past nor will I ever in my life harass women that don’t give me a reason to engage with them. So what is a good man like me to do, in a world where women don’t want to know me, are dismissive of any potential in me before I even say ‘hi’ to them? What is a good man to do, in a world, in a culture, in a society where women are conditioned to avoid ‘strange men’ at all costs? What is a good man to do, when nearly all of his experiences in life suggest to him that women are not truly willing to engage and participate in the process of finding a partner?
Live his life, and cross his fingers. That’s all he can do.
A lot of very bitter people that rather be in a relationship instead of being single and alone. Do you blame them? Why would you? I certainly don’t.
Mark- in this landfill of people who have been traumatized by relationships and men (including the author of this article) who clearly subscribe to antiquated views of women (or are flat out misogynists) , your voice is the sound of reason.
I feel for women and men alike in relationships and single because the world is a difficult place and connection with all its uncertainties and vulnerabilities is challenging for even the most secure of us.
I traveled the world, lived in various countries and was lucky enough to complete advanced education. I own my own business and am completely financially independent. I am not selfish or too picky nor have I ever been cruel or inconsiderate in any relationships, or even to men who have casually approached me. I met my current husband at 39, had my first child at 41 and we are still happily married with 2 children. My now husband also was 39 when we met and he had a very negative view of women and relationships due to being very mistreated. It took some work for him to deal with that and be open to the reality of our relationship which is that I didn’t need him for any superficial reason like money or feeling pressured to be in a couple, but because I thought he was a great person and that we could build a life and have a lot of fun together. There was nothing wrong or flawed with either of us except that we just hadn’t met the right person. Everyone’s timeline is different, but love can happen at any time.
I applaud your honesty and vulnerability and am sure that at the right time the right woman would be very lucky to meet you. There is nothing creepy about a man genuinely being interested in who you are or asking you out on a date. Women who respond negatively to this attention are usually very insecure, so please do not take it personally. A great approach that worked on me was a guy came up to me and said he was interested gave me his number and said I would love to take you out if you’re free, but if not i totally understand and just wanted to tell you I think you’re really pretty, gave me his number and walked away. I think the real problem here is articles exactly like this one that make it seem like you’re ever too hold to go after any dream that you want whether it is starting a business or finding the love of your life.
Hello there,
I know this is old but still felt the need to reply. I’m turning 36 in May and I don’t feel that my dating options have changed much (if at all) since my twenties. I certainly don’t think women are “old” at my age and it does get harder, but love can happen at any age. My problem was oblivion. Guys try to hit on me and I don’t pick up on it until much later and then it was like “seriously? Duh!” Her problem sounds more like low self esteem (like you said), which is sad. But no, life is not over at 35, or 45 or 55. I hope Tracy found some form of happiness by now, single or not.
Perhaps practice will make perfect! Glad you haven’t had a problem yet.
Tracy is I think 44 now. She has a boyfriend but not married.
I just wrote this follow up post if you’re interested: https://www.financialsamurai.com/you-will-regret-sacrificing-love-for-money-almost-all-of-the-time/
I hate that phrase “settling down.” Just how does marriage make you “settled”? It doesn’t. If you are screwed up and get married, you will be even more screwed up and affect more people negatively. There is nothing wrong with being single, especially nothing wrong with being single and a woman. Most women (and men) have to make peace with it and stop acting like they are kids. Women have been brainwashed with the idea they are nothing except as relationships to others and hence they think they have to be married and mothers to be happy.
Men, of course, are seen as human beings, not as things, not as relationships to others. Most women never develop real interests, and I am not talking about the very few women in the real world with “glamorous” (read male-dominated) “careers,” which aren’t all that anyway. They have NO real interests apart from seeking relationships. It is all about makeup, beauty, clothes, dieting, cooking, home-based crafts, and other expensive, frivolous stuff that are designed to keep women broke in some pathetic pursuit of the brass ring.
Too many single women these days have very very high standards which is the real reason why love really gets much more harder to find as we get older, especially with their list of demands that they have today for many of us single guys still looking.
I’m turning 35 in a week and don’t agree with Tracy at all. I’ve always gotten attention from guys of all ages, and it hasn’t tapered off. Granted, I LOOK much younger than 35 (last week when I opened the door for a door-to-door salesman, he asked if my mom or dad was home!), and that’s probably at least part of it. But I think confidence is a huge part of it as well. If you think of yourself as dog crap that no one’s going to want, that’s what’s going to end up happening. You get back what you put out there.
At almost 35, I have never once had to look to older men to find someone. I connect better with guys in their 20s, and that’s who I usually end up dating. I care more about personality than looks or money though. I don’t know if it would be different if I actually looked 35, but I’m actually guessing no. You’re only as old as you feel, and I feel as young as I ever did, so it makes sense that the guys I attract are young as well. :)
People having unrealistic expectations, the media heavily promoting interracial relationships has ruined it for everyone.
The very funny thing is that you see the most ugliest men with very attractive women. Very big bank accounts are a plus these days, with the help of so many women that are real Gold Diggers now.
You nailed it.
For anyone who never managed to find ‘the one’, I can confirm it makes zero difference whether you are attractive when younger or ugly when younger or if you do manage to marry. I was uglier in my 20s (bad teeth/jaw that needed fixing, ruined hair and skin due to malnutrition, no money to spend on things like good clothes/makeup/cosmetic treatments, glasses, etc). I’m much better looking now, but still haven’t had any men approach me. And I have a great personality (since I lacked everything else growing up and was forced to develop one). It makes no difference.
I’ve known women who were stunningly beautiful, women who were intellectual geniuses, women who were charming and funny… all struggled to date and find a partner. And out of the ones that did, most are now divorced. At my age I’ve realised there is only a tiny fraction of people that are lucky enough to find and remain in happy, healthy, committed relationships. The rest either never get the chance, have to settle for someone incompatible (for money, kids, whatever reason), end up divorcing, one or both partners cheat, one dies much earlier than the other and they are left alone anyway, etc. I can count on one hand the number of ‘good’ couples I’ve met in my entire lifetime.
Men and women would do better to focus their attention on other areas of their life and stop panicking so much about what everyone else is doing. I worked as a therapist for a while, and trust me you have no clue how miserable a lot of ‘perfect couples’ are behind closed doors. There are a lot of people trapped in marriages that they wish they could get out of. Just learn to love yourself.
That’s just something ugly people say…
And your response is what the incels raging against the world always say. You imagine everyone else is living in some sort of super happy fantasy life with buckets of money, the perfect husband/wife, amazing sex on tap, while you’re missing out. Everyone is doing better than you, life is so unfair, bla bla bla. It’s rubbish. Most people on this planet are struggling through the drugery of everyday life and all the problems and stress that comes with a less than great relationship. You see a tiny fraction of what goes on behind closed doors, as people tend to put on their best face when out in public. Focus on yourself rather than what you imagine everyone else has.
If women had been just like the old days, then many of us single men would’ve been settled down already. Women today are nothing at all like the past, which today they have just too many high expectations unfortunately. And a great deal of these women are real gold diggers now altogether, especially the very high maintenance ones that just want the very best of all.
I’m amazed at some of the remarks in here. At 63, never married SWM, still a virgin, not gay folks, I’ve seen many fine people marry and divorce later for all sorts of reasons. This society makes finding your partner harder than it has to be. Our culture is toxic on many levels. This affects both the quality and types of relationships available to us. I dated five times in my life, first at 35, last at 46. I stopped there. I learned early on I had nothing which would attract women. A woman told me years ago”you’re a nice guy, but you’re not what women are looking for today. You don’t have what they want.” I tried online dating twice. No interest from anyone there. Match.com I posted a profile at age 58, ran it for eight months, and here are the results. I had 1400 views, I contacted 40 people, only ten responded, and not ONE would even meet for coffee. All these were women 50 plus. None of us look like supermodels at that age. I had to stop. My brother married late at 46. He told me “you will miss some things by not being married, but you might not miss as much as you think.” I often think of five girls I met before 30. Sadly I lacked the resources to pursue them when they came along. Of course they moved on. All the women I would ever have married I met before 30. After that I never met anyone again I would consider a good spousal choice. Women have so much pressure to be and do everything–wife, mother, girlfriend, caretaker, career woman etc. They are quietly handed a long list of expectations society has for them. Being a good wife and mom raising your kids is not acceptable today or affordable either. Both sexes have to shop wisely for their spouse, and a bad marriage can destroy on many levels. Women can defer marriage because they have careers. Problem is men disappear as they climb the ladder and their fertility dwindles also. Most of us long for and hope for a partner. Sadly this society launched a gender war that continues into its fourth decade. I don’t think women like, trust, or respect men today. Men want to love and provide for them. We just don’t get the chance to show it very often. If we do it’s often met with contempt, scorn, or disrespect. Read two books: Save the Males by K. Parker and Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb. Great books to read for more on the topic. To close a priest once told me–“It’s not in God’s plan for everyone to be married”. I agree with that, but it’s real tough to accept that on birthdays and holidays when you’re all alone year after year. I’ve seen so many friends pass on. When your circle of friends dies, then you know your time is truly running out. Your best dating years will be 16-30, after that it’s all downhill. Good luck folks. Wish I could start again — knowing what I know now.
It is very unfortunate that we live in a totally different time today since most women are very picky now when it comes to finding love. They just want the very best of all and will never settle for less either since they want MR. Perfect now. And love was very easy to find in the old days since our family members had no trouble at all, and women were the very complete opposite of today as well. Just too much greed and selfishness that these women have today altogether, and very very money hungry too. A very bad time for many of us single men trying to find love these days unfortunately.
I’m a 35 year old single woman, who didn’t consider settling down until my later 20s (28, 29) as well…I also am well-educated and financially independent so I’ve never had to run for any man. Dating has ALWAYS been horrible for me, because I’m very particular.
Although I’m 35, people always think I’m in my 20s, and I get comments regarding My physical attractiveness from both sexes. I prefer to date men that aren’t too far from my age…I get uncomfortable with men that are in their mid 40s because they tend to look MUCH older than I do.
Mid-40s isn’t that old. Do you plan to start a family? If so, I would encourage you to talk to other women over 35 who started a family or tried to start a family. It was hard for us, and you will find it was hard for many others. If you don’t want to start a family, great! Enjoy the dating scene.
Related: The Ideal Biological And Economic Age To Start A Family
Mid 40s isn’t that old – would you say the same thing to a 35 year old man who didn’t want to date women 10 years older?
If i had been born in the old days which i definitely would have met a good woman to settle down with. Today unfortunately women are totally different and very picky when it comes to finding love since most women now want the very rich type of man, and can’t accept any of us men for who we really are since money is very important for most women now.
Woooooow that is 100% FALSE. I dont even know where to start with you. Wealth and money was actually WAY more important “in the old days” because women were basicqlly not allowed to work and support thenselves so they had no choice but to find someone who could support them and their future children. Most of my friends and I have dated guys who were poor and even supported THEM at certain points in time. Women can have good jobs now and support themselves so money is less important. Keep using that lame excuse though if it helps you sleep at night. My advice is maybe actually date women who have their own money and are mature and not shallow. No friend of mine has ever cared about a guys money as long as they were not a totally unmotivated dead beat loser…and trust me my friends and i have dated those types as well. And you know generalizing an entire gender wont get you anywhere in life either. If i were to base my opinion of all men on the horrible asshole shallow douche bags ive dated then i would say that all men literally care about nothing other than how good women are at sex and hoe many orgasms women have with them. Ive litterally been dumped multiple times because i just dont have orgasms from sex which im fine with, despite me being good looking, thin, fun and witty. At least you can CHANGE your money situation. Women cant change the fact that they are a certain age or look a certain way (unless they get plastic surgery) or how many friggin orgasms they have unless they fake it which i refuse to do. Be fucking greatful that youre a male and are still datable well into your 50s. Im a 35 yr old woman and ive basicaly given up all hope unless i go for some 50 yr old man. I seriously cant believe you think most women give a shit about dating a rich person. Thats just straight up bullshit. Youre either lying to yourself to make yourself feel better or youre going after young or immature or shallow women. Maybe actually go for a woman who isnt shallow. We are out there in droves.
For your information most women now are just so very horrible to meet with a very bad attitude problem as well. Very stuck up troubled women that we now have everywhere these days that have No Respect And Manners at all when many of us good single men will just try to start a conversation with one of these Loser women which they will turn around and be so very nasty to us men. What is up with that? Especially when there are many of us men looking for a good woman to settle down with. Did i say good woman? Where are they? Not these days unfortunately.
As a 37 year old man who hasn’t even dated in 5 years since I broke up with my last girlfriend I’d not blame either sex both of us have so much ‘perfect body, perfect mate’ engraved in our heads from advertising it’s hard for us to think of who we could settle for rather than the one you think is the hottest. I’d also blame Tinders ‘swipe life’ culture for reducing dating down to photos and just looks. As recent studies have found such generalizations make users more depress because only a small percentage of all of us fit into that 1-5% category.
I am a 47 year old woman. I do notice a difference of how men treat me differently than when I was in my 20s and 30s. I was always interested in men my own age or slightly older, but now, I find younger men more attractive. It isn’t all about looks. I like the energy of younger men. Some men my age, not all, can be bitter and have resentment with how their lives turned out. Some of them think they know everything. They don’t. I don’t know everything. I am still learning. I have a youthful Spirit. That is what really matters. Some young men are not attracted to me. I believe I am Spiritually years beyond my time and some young men don’t understand that. I have endured a brain tumor diagnosis and a death of a child. Those experiences changed me forever. We need to flip the script. Don’t let your age define you. Let your Spirit define you.
Feminism is definitely much worse than cancer today keeping many of us men single. And there is no cure for this very terrible disease at all caused by women.
Wow, bitter much? And yea pshhh women wanting equal rights sure is a burden for you isnt it!?? Geez i mean it must suck not being able to force women to rely on a man just to be able to eat because now women can have jobs and stuff. I feel so bad for you!!! Meanwhile im over here, as are my friends, looking for a husband since we were in our early 20s and being met with cheaters, douche bags, guys who string us along for gods knows how long pretending they just “dont like labels” and then us realizing they were never serious about us from the get go. I cant tell you how many liars, cheaters, users and assholes ive dated who didnt have the BALLS to be upfront about ANYTHING. Wow feminism must be so hard for you. How DARE women ask to be treated like humans with equal value and rights and intelligence. Women having choices clearly bothers you because you seem like the kind of woman hating douche bag asshole sexist who women wouldnt ever choose to be with so clearly us having choices doesnt really benefit you. I guess after thousands of years of having all the power to treat women like possessions or animals, us getting a little closer to equality feels like youre getting gyped. Oh well sucks for you!!! But heres a newsflash…GUYS ARE STILL DICKS JUST LIKE THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. Women are just choosing not to settle for the assholes now because they arent forced to by society and lack of equality. There is still an epidemic of women being murdered and beaten and raped. The number one cause of death for oregnant women is murder. Did you know that? Wow it must really suck to be a man. Pshh what a puece of shit you are. Hey maybe youre single because youre a piece of shit and not because of feminism? Ever consider that? Every woman i know is either married or wants very much to get married so im pretty sure women not wanting to be tied to a man is not the reason your misogynistic bitter ass is single.
To Jess, women like you really are a waste of humanity to begin with. Enough said right there.
Jess, most of you women are very pathetic to begin with.
It is very difficult for many of us single older men trying to find love, especially after being married already for a while. Having our ex wife that cheated on us already makes it even more difficult to trust another woman all over again since i was the very faithful one in my marriage. Now to go out all over again is the worst thing that can happen to many of us men since looking for a woman more our age is tough enough as it is. Not easy at all finding love for the second time since i really hate being single and all alone to begin with.
Are you really that stupid? For you to say that women only date older men is complete WRONG! None of my friends or myself like to date older men, AND that goes for a ton of women i know. I would never date a man older than myself. Why would we when we can date hot guys our own age who have more stamina? Women in their 30s and 40s can easily date younger men or men their own age., only weak minded, self conscious women think otherwise. Strong minded women that know their worth will have no problems dating and keeping the attention of men in their prime. And when I say prime, I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about young men with stamina who women actually find attractive. I really hate to break it to all these middle aged and older men who think that younger women are falling to their feet while women over 35 are left alone, you all are so ridiculous! I actually feel sorry for you. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to try to spend my hard earned money to buy the attention of the opposite sex, or to be a man living in a fantasy that younger people actually find me more desirable than younger men. Listen all you older men, younger women DO NOT desire you period! I’m not saying that there are no younger women dating older men, but there are not nearly as many as you would like to believe, and if they are it is usually money driven. I am almost 34 and know that I do not have to date older men, I have tons of men trying to go out with me because I’m attractive and know my TRUE self worth in the dating pool. And trust me, my dating options are not going to be limited any time soon, no matter what any man on this board would like me to think. For any women over 40 that sees this, don’t listen to men! They are soooo jealous of young men and their youth that they try to make themselves seem so lucky that all the younger women really want them, which is BULL! And these men can’t stand that women of all ages can easily attract young men. That’s the real truth! I’m sure there will be haters who read this, and while they’re on here trying to deny this, I’ll be out having fun! With a young, hot stud…
Cougar alert! Oh boy! There must be a lot of weak minded women then if this is true. I’m that young stud and I will say nay! This exact post is the reason why men of all ages will pass you on eventually. You need to reflect…
Most women today are real feminists since they really are just men haters altogether. Very smart for a man that is still single today, to just stay single since marriage isn’t worth it anymore. Been there.
Yup, I’m 41 and it’s mostly younger men who are interested in me. The older ones tend to be financially secure but they look tired, have wives already. The ones my age are either not available, have issues or are exes trying to get back with me. It”s definitely harder as I dont go out as much but I’m hopeful Ill meet the right person one day.
Take advantage of all the hot young men in your age range. Just be sure you don’t get pregnant or get an STD from one of them. Older men are usually more careful. Also they might value you for more than just sex too. At some point in time, you will age out of your dating pool. It happens sooner than you expect usually.
Well i really do have to say that men that were looking for love in the old days certainly had it very easy since they really had no trouble at all meeting a good woman which unfortunately today is a very different story altogether for us men now.
As a 32 year old woman who gets as much attention as ever (and a lot of it from younger guys, and NO not just because they think I’m an easy lay – they know I’m not into casual sex), I call bullshit on all of this and am sick of women being bullied into believing that they have to be married by 30 or else probably end up alone. Guess what? I would have LOVED to be married in my 20s. But it just didn’t happen. And that doesn’t mean I have to give up on finding my happily ever after or that I have to settle for someone I don’t really want just out of some misplaced fear of ending up alone. I’m not looking for a provider and father of my children, I’m looking for a best friend and a partner, someone that I truly cannot live without. I would rather be single for the rest of my life than settle for anything less.
I got married at 37, after finding my husband at 35. He was more than worth the wait! I had wanted to get married in my 20s too but, I just didn’t meet the right person until later. In his 20s and early 30s, my husband was with the wrong person for him (but is glad he didn’t marry her, or he would have gotten one nasty divorce). There’s really nothing I could have done to get married sooner, when my husband wasn’t available to me earlier.
I’m glad I married the right person at 37, rather than the wrong person in my 20s (only to get divorced and end up back in the dating pool in my 30s anyway). Meeting later in life also helped us be better partners for each other, when we were more mature and had learned from prior relationship mistakes. There are benefits to later marriage too.
I’m a 42-year-old highly accomplished and intelligent man who will never marry, even though I can make a woman fall in love with me in about 10 minutes of conversation.
No one ever bothered to see things from a male perspective. Here’s the truth about women:
In their twenties, women rudely reject guys like me, and get their V widened into a yawning chasm by felons, drummers, and other assorted “men” of uncertain provenance. They march around in pink pussy hats, attempting to destroy Western civilization through Facebook and Twitter. They make work miserable through endless touchy-feely “initiatives.” They make false rape accusations after bad break-ups.
When they’re no longer attractive, they look for Mr. Right. We turn them down, because we don’t want to end up like the dad in this video: https://youtu.be/XKfm723mISo
We don’t want sexless marriages where we spend endless time on the corporate treadmill, only to have half our stuff taken away by the courts during the divorce (half of marriages end in divorce, and women initiate 80 percent of divorces.) During divorce proceedings, the woman makes baseless allegations of abuse, through her scumbag lawyer, whom the man has to pay for. Once she gets alimony and child support, she shacks up with a drug-addicted ex-con, in the house her husband paid for. She uses the children to make her husband’s life a living hell, until he commits suicide (the leading cause of death for men under fifty.)
Men who can’t afford to pay child support go to jail. Which other debt can put you in prison?
No, thanks. I’d rather spend my time in beautiful villas in Bali. By myself. No selfies required; I don’t have to impress anyone.
When I see a woman, I follow the Buddha’s dying advice about women: Don’t look at them. If you see one, don’t talk to her. If you must speak to one, be mindful and maintain self control.
Women can go suck the big one. Just not mine.
I don’t date women over 30 yrs old
It’s a bit of a stereotype, and the post had an air of spite. 30s are way better than the 20s in just about every respect, sounds like Tracey just hasn’t found whatever it is that makes her feel good about herself, everyone has good and bad points, everyone. No one is going out with older guys that remind them of their father, everyone I know the later they married the better quality their partner. If Tracey is hot (older or not) she can still get a great guy, the old farts leer at everyone all the way down to 12 year olds. It’s not her that’s the problem, it’s the mad dash everyone makes around 30 to settle down that has dwindled the pond, it gets restocked again later when half of them get divorced. some are more of a slow burn socially, they can’t compete with the manic social butterfly types, they tend to marry later when everyone calms the hell down and stops running around chasing the latest greatest thing, when she does meet someome he’ll be a total gem, right about the time half her friends marriages are falling appart.
Well that is the real truth.
The real problem for us single good men that are still looking is very hard now that much more women today are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, and very greedy, which really speaks for itself.
Part true, part false. Life is not “over” for her, but definitely she’ll not be the center of attention anymore. She’s simply paying the price of refusing everyone who approached her and shooting them down, crushing their dreams and moving on to enjoy the attention from the next poor guy, who sincerely hoped he’s going to get a chance for a dream girl.
It’s almost over for her because of guys like me. A couple years ago I’d die for a girl. As I aged a bit and got my life together, and got rejected repeatedly and solely for “coming on too strong”, I learned my lesson. I’m either gonna be with someone I really like, who appreciates me or I’ll die single. For some, dealing with desperation is lowering their standards. For me, it was becoming willing to die a virgin if this is the price. So yes, if she still insists on a 6’3 filthy-rich Brad-Pitt looking guy, she will never have him.
As a matter of fact, I never bought a free beer to a girl I didn’t know. I do pay for first dates, but I’m not going to pay for you (even though I can afford it) just for the mere chance of a date.
I’ll give my advice to guys: have respect and demand it. No girl, no one, no person is ever worth demeaning yourself or jumping through hoops for. You’re better off single. Extend your invitation, but if they don’t respond and reciprocate, go away and never look back.