Want to have a wonderful life? There's a simple personal finance mantra everybody should consider following: one spouse, one car, one house, one job. The idea is that if you stick with one of everything, you'll maximize its usage, minimize extraneous expenditure, and live happily ever after.
We get in trouble when we want too much.
But one of everything can get quite boring. Thus, the divorce rate is ~50%. The average car ownership is six years. The median home ownership is seven years. And the average person job hops every three years.
I want to review each item to see what's truly ideal. I suspect the answer is different for everyone. Feel free to share your thoughts below.
How Many Of Each Is Ideal For A Wonderful Life?
How Many Spouses?
I only have one spouse, and plan to only have one spouse. We met when we were in college and have been together ever since. Now that we are business partners and parents, the stakes are way too high to split now! If we divorced, we'd have to waste money on lawyers, go through some serious financial forensic analysis, get another place to live, and share custody of our son.
Verdict: One spouse is idea for a wonderful life. You could be a financial independence guru and still get divorced and be miserable.
How Many Cars?
For my entire life, I've either had no car or just one car. With the invention of ridesharing, I've often wondered about having no car. But having no car won't work because it would be a PITA to install a baby seat and bring a stroller every time we had to go somewhere.
But for nine months, we had two cars because I actually bought Moose, my current family car in December 2016. Our baby was due in Spring and I wanted to get a larger vehicle before he was born. Sometimes babies are born early, and the seller offered a reasonable price.
Two cars felt like a complete waste of money, but because the Honda Fit was a $235/month business expense, it wasn't costly. Further, we have plenty of free parking right outside our house, which is a rarity in a city like San Francisco. I mostly still drove Rhino except when taking the little one to the doctor's office.
Once I returned Rhino, I felt lighter. It was a relief not to own him anymore because he had a lot of starter problems (will show a video in a future post). Further, it was nice knowing I was not financially responsible or liable for him anymore. Calling the auto insurance company to drop coverage was a happy moment.
Verdict: one car is ideal + a ridesharing account per adult + bicycle. A wonderful life means less car maintenance issues.
Related: One Car For Show, One Car For Dough
How Many Houses To Own?
Owning your own house feels awesome. There's this magical feeling you experience that nobody tells you when you get the keys. Owning one rental property feels pretty darn good too. It's nice knowing your tenants are paying your mortgage and that eventually, you'll own the property free and clear to earn a nice cash flow.
A vacation property can be great if it's relatively close by and you use it for at least four weeks a year. But after three properties, if you have a job and a family to take care of, things start getting more difficult to manage.
I thought I'd enjoy owning four properties consisting of a primary residence, two city rentals, and one vacation rental/property. But after three years of managing three properties at the same time, I finally had enough after my son was born.
If I had perfect tenants, I wouldn't have minded holding onto three rentals. But I knew renting out a house in the Marina district (infamous for being a homogenous party neighborhood in SF) near a busy street would only attract a group of 4 – 6 male roommates and not the stable family I was looking for.
Verdict: Two properties, one consisting of a primary residence and a rental property to be truly long real estate. It's much better to vacation all over the world and rent instead of always going back to the same place. A wonderful life doesn't involved maintenance issues and tenant hassles. Simplicity is why I reinvested $500,000 of my house sale proceeds into real estate crowdfunding.
How Many Jobs To Have Is Ideal?
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average person has worked 10 different jobs before 40. Sounds high, but it makes a lot of sense if we are counting all the jobs one has held in their lifetimes.
Before graduating college, I had four jobs. After graduating college, I had two jobs, three corporate consulting jobs, and my own business. What do you know. That makes 10 jobs for me too. I felt like I stayed at my last full-time job for two years too long. I should have joined a bucket shop for a big two-year guarantee and then quit. But if I did, I would have left a severance package equal to five years of living expenses on the table so I guess things kind of worked out.
Verdict: Five jobs after college. The first job is to learn. The second job is to earn. The third job is to take a big step up in pay and responsibility. The fourth job is to explore a new field because you're sick and tired of the old one. The fifth job is to take another gargantuan leap in pay or find your retirement job where you can just chill out, like one of the thousands of people who work at a massive corporation.
During these job transitions, I hope to goodness you're working on a side-hustle as well. In this day and age, a wonderful life entails having multiple income streams. This way, you will feel more financially secure just in case one goes down. Or just in case a pandemic eliminates your job.
How Many Kids Is Ideal?
Nobody told me with supreme conviction that once you have your own kid you will love him or her more than you will have ever loved anything before. Perhaps it's because folks with kids are careful not to make those without kids feel bad about not having them. After all, many complications can arise when trying to have kids, especially at later stages.
But I will tell you here that having a kid with a partner you love is the most amazing feeling ever. Suddenly, everything becomes much more meaningful because you want to provide every opportunity possible for your children. There is also a tremendous amount of worry, anxiety, and fear raising a child. So if you don't have a strong relationship with your partner, having a baby will strain your relationship so beware.
Verdict: As many kids as you can afford and have time for. Kids are priceless. There is nothing more valuable than having kids. I wish someone told me this when I was younger.
Related:
The Cost Of Raising Children Is More Than Just Money
A Wonderful Life Is What You Make Of It
I hope everyone can find a partner or a best friend to experience all of life's highs and lows. My luckiest break really was getting an e-mail from my wife senior year in college wondering why I had skipped Japanese 101 class.
Or maybe the real lucky break was having the foresight into thinking if I took Japanese 101 senior year, I could meet a girl just like my wife. After all, I could have taken any 101 class because I already had enough credits to graduate. Ah hah! Talk about predicting the future.
I'd consider giving up all my money to be in college again. But I wouldn't trade my family for the world. Since reliving the past is impossible, we just have to make the best of the present. One spouse, one car, one house, one job is good advice. But it's worth shooting for a little more if you have the courage.
Related: Solving The Happiness Conundrum In Five Moves Or Less
Here are some other profiles I can think of:
The Monk: No spouse, no car, no house, no job.
The Minimalist: Maybe a spouse, no car, no house, a boring job that doesn't pay well.
The Digital Nomad: Likely no spouse, no car, no house, a lifestyle business that requires cheaper living abroad.
The Early Retiree: A working spouse, a car, a couple houses, lives off spouse, investments, or side business.
The American: Onto their second spouse, two cars, rents, works a soul-sucking job.
The Ultra-Wealthy: Onto their second or third spouse, three or more cars, five or more properties, runs a business that will never let them be free even though they have all the money in the world.
Readers, what do you think is the ideal number for each item and why? Which profile do you fit? What does a wonderful life mean to you?
One Spouse. One Car. One House. One Job.
Hmm.
Like you already Sam, its subjective. So, I’d put the disclaimer first that the following is ONLY my humble views, not to be taken as what applies to even a single another human:
Had I known what life means after kids, I’d not get married or have kids. I am already born on this planet, so I’d seek and live completely freely what I want to, without any feeling of obligation towards another human life that I am 100% responsible for.
Spouse is, but car/house/job are less important.
So, what is missing in this title of yours?
The KIDS!!!
Life, and the #cars or size of house, changes ONLY after kids. Again IMHO.
One can sleep on sofa, drive a bike, or even work at McD as a manager to eat.
But having the kids, totally changes your lives. Now its not about you anymore, suddenly you start talking of:
1. Life Insurance
2. 529s
3. Your habits as a role model to your kids
Thats the ONLY reason I do not like 90% of financial wisdom out there which talks about life without kids.
A gazillion PF websites, and articles on msn, yahoo, google talking of 20+ year old experts teaching everyone out there what PF is about. I’m sorry to say – You have not even known 10% of what life has in store, and you are preaching? You know the kind of articles – “Best 7 ETFs to buy in 2017…”, “Top mistakes Retirees make…” – written by 20+ year olds, with a disclaimer – I do not own any of these best 7 ETFs.
I find that stupid, so I always end up on your site to breathe some fresh.
In Conclusion: Financially free people hardly need anything. Its a discipline of mindset, which becomes a habit. It is such people’s need to provide for their loved ones esp. kids that actually drives them further. I can assure you that 99% of financially free people would be happy to sleep on a sofa, and drive an old car, or watch a 32″ television. They do not seek material life. So, a car is mode of taking you from A to B. You have a daughter, she is 16, you’d get another car (safe). House is a place to sleep, home is a place is to live lovingly. Sofa is fine too.
Regards.
What happened to your relationship with your kids?
“We get in trouble when we want too much.” – True! Good job on the profiles too (I found a few of them funny but still, they’re very helpful info).
I think there is no ideal. Too many folks I know got married before they finished developing and the changes in who they became were too much for the relationship to survive. Too many folks I know married the “nice” guy who turned abusive after “I do.”
I love having no car and living in a city that does not require it.
Ideally, I would have half a house (a condo) so that most of the drains of home ownership (ie worrying about the roof in a storm) could be shared with others.
I think the job thing could be higher depending on when you graduated and which industries you tried out.
But what if you have extremely cheap vehicle, could you argue having 2 in the family is still financially savvy? I purchased a 2002 Toyota Prius for $1000 that needed work that I fixed myself for a few hundred. Now I have a reliable car that gets 40+/- MPG, next to no maintenance costs and is $65/mo to insure. So commuting to work and driving around 1k miles / month only cost me around $200. The only cheaper option is biking and taking a bus at around $60/mo but that takes a lot of my time, is is much more valuable than $140/mo difference.
Cheers!
Jimmy G
PS – Love your posts, keep up the good work (SEO game strong!)
3 cars (1 for me and my beautiful wife, 1 for my 2 kids who are now both driving)
1 house where we live and 1 rental property
1 job – my spouse and 1 ex-Federal employee (me)
2 credit cards (AMEX)
2 student loans (ouch)
That’s the summary of my life so far
One spouse (32 years)
6 cars (4 vintage collectables)
1 house + 5 rentals.
2 jobs, current 30+ years.
Will simplify when the time is right. Enjoy my projects for now.
1 spouse (so far, spouse going through a mid-age crisis – career stalled, being a park-time stay-at-home-dad hurts his manhood and limits his freedoms)
2.5 houses
6 jobs ( move around due to spouse’s career)
1 car
First, thanks for your insight and your passion for all things financial. I have been an avid reader and I’m in the early exploratory stages of starting my own financial/professional blog. You have been a big time inspiration. If I move forward would love for you to be the first to review.
1 Wife 12 years
1 house 11 years (2 years left)
1 dog 11 years
1 job 16 years
1 Car (each) 05 and 08 model and I ride the bus to work
I’m a big time believer in keeping things simplified and spending more time making those memories and experiences count.
No spouse, no car, one rental property in SF that used to be primary residence, a fun job, teaching tennis at Club Med, that pays OK considering it includes room and board and I get to live in exotic locations.
Let go of your attachment to all outcomes in life regarding spouse, house, job and car and you will achieve peace and happiness. Expectations and over-planning are usually what sabotage us. Be here now.
Hi Marco,
Well-said. Live in the present and enjoy the moment. Stop comparing with the Jones on these aspects. Be oneself and be care-free!
Ben
This post struck a nerve for me because it’s so true. You’re much better off being content with what you’ve got than trying to run on the hedonistic treadmill. There’s so much pressure to do more, spend more, etc. that it crowds out the stuff that really matters.
When I chose to downshift careers, thinking along these lines was part of the calculus. Mega careers usually crowd out other things in your life. At one company I worked for, every single person higher up than me (it was a small company) was divorced and I didn’t get the sense their jobs were worth it.
It’s bad enough when your spouse has to play second fiddle to a job, its something worse altogether to do it to kids too.
While your very wealthy scenario probably was likely never in the cards for me, I’m happy that I’m a lot closer to the early retiree one than the typical American one.
Hi PVF,
I guess that it is up to each individual to make his/her decision based on his/her preferences. It’s the matter of different strokes.
Ben
Hi Sam,
No spouse, no car, no house for me.
Nine jobs for me (As things stand).
Ben
Another great posting Samurai–
1 wife
2 kids I should have had 2 more I think.
1 car but recently I want another-I love classic cars-you can rent them for photo shoots in Shibuya-hold there value-parking is a problem but is tax deductible
1 classic VW bus Kombi-operates as a store and youtube channel/studio in Shibuya, Tokyo-cheapest way to access/influence thousands a minute in foot traffic
10 rentals-don t wanna sell-as Shibuya keeps getting better and better
1 penthouse
0 job but a few businesses
lotsa dividend stocks
just trying to keep the party going but I think the I don’t operate like an individual any longer. I don t know how I m gonna unwind this all either. The principle of 1 1 1 and 1 is a good one and I followed it while building my company for 15 years.
One spouse, one car, one house, and one job is the way to go. Side hustles(including rental property) are a plus to get that extra income and develop more skills.
I guess it’s depends if you need a second car especially if both you and your spouse need to drive to work.
One spouse- 27 years although sometimes 2 spouses doesn’t sound that bad.
One house, one cabin, and one commercial warehouse.
2 cars, ” until I hit Barrett Jackson in Phoenix someday ” then it’s gonna be 3 cars!
Lmao! About business that makes enough money not to get out. ” I live this every day”
Sam, your writing is thought provoking and sometimes a bit to accurate. Enjoy your weekend.
Thanks, Bill
There’s another category you might have left out. Digital Entrepreneurs that move around the globe to what suits them best. Its another class of “digital nomad” but with more money, I’d call them “Nomad Capitalists”. They make amazing money even for the US, 1M+/year and get literally the best the world has to offer. Profile: Multiple Apartments in attractive home base cities around the globe(Rented out when not staying there as Airbnb), Maybe a car in one of those locations, Multiple digital assets/businesses(Saas, Websites, Mobile Apps) and most importantly time to enjoy the life they’ve created.
“It’s much better to vacation all over the world and rent instead of always going back to the same place.”
Hear! Hear!
I’ve never heard of the one spouse, one house, one car, one job rule. I have a feeling it was written back in the 1950 -70s. Now a days, having just one job for your whole life is pretty impossible. Job stability isn’t what it used to be. Ditto with the house (unaffordable like they used to be with the abnormal interest rate environment) and car (sharing economy didn’t used to exist).
It also depends on the personality. I actually know people who are quite happy with more than one spouse (they’re poly). I’ve know people who are happy owning a house (like Justin from rootofgood) as well as people who swear to be renters for life (like Jeremy from gocurrycracker), people who are happy with their car and people who are perfectly happy biking everywhere. Ditto with the job situation. So there’s no one size that fits all. You can be happy either way, it just depends on your personality. The most important thing is not to look at other people’s lives and try to force yourself to do the same even if it doesn’t suit your personality, that’s a recipe for disaster. You gotta do you.
I really enjoyed this post, fun to think about…
I wonder what your take would be on ideal number of children and how that number affects the other ideal numbers. The more kids the more cars you may need and the less homes you would probably have time for. Jobs too, making large career changes gets less casual with a family to think about and one parent may choose to drop a job. Hopefully most agree that the more children you have the less spouses and that number stays at 1 :)
I have a 4 month old and my perspectie has changed quite a bit. All recent decisions are based around my little guy and what I think will be best for him (and potentially future babies), we are very comfortable with our incomes and investments at the time being but if we had another baby I’m not sure I’d feel as comfortable. Time is my biggest concern for now, I am trying to simplify life so that when I’m not working I can spend time with my family and not so much on the maintenance of life.
I recently had a friend who divorced after 10 years of marriage. He’s an ER doc who makes great money. Now he has to pay his ex-wife, who doesn’t make much money on her own, a substantial amount of money every month.
One spouse FTW!
1 spouse – I will never get another woman to ask me to marry her (since I’m still chasing this one after 33 years)
1 house/condo – with someone else mowing the lawn and painting it
5-10 cars – with a shop to keep them in and do a little wrenching
1 job that actually helps other people and maybe pays a little money
Grandchildren to teach all the fun things in life to…
I currently have no spouse, no house, two cars (one is a junker I should either fix or scrap), and a pretty good job I’d like to maintain. I’ve had four jobs since high school that helped propel me to the position that I’m currently in. With that said, I’d go with one spouse, one house (not counting any rental properties), two cars (I live in a rural area where there is no feasible ride sharing/taxi/public transit), and one job.
I think one spouse, one car, no house (where I live a good least) and as many jobs as you want. Within reason changing jobs shouldn’t be determined by the number of jobs you’ve had previously.
Overall I think the early retiree profile is pretty good to aim for.
Most of your list I’m in agreement on, but my location doesn’t really support one car. Ridesharing doesn’t come to the sticks and walking on no shoulder backroads is not safe. So in my case 2 cars 1 house 1 spouse. Actually three cars, but my third is a hobby not a transportation device. On my third company here but many different jobs. Not sure how to measure that even if I only have one job now.
Oh wait, if we’re talking after college jobs then I’ve had 3.5 (if you include a summer internship). I’m figuring out if I should move on to job 4.5 or finally start my own business.
I LOLed at he early retiree “living off the spouse” :). I’ve been trying to convince my wife for the past few years but she just laughs and walks away…
I wish we could do one car as well, but between the wife’s job and kids classes, we need both spouses driving. Rideshare will end up being more expensive than a car payment and public transport is severely limited where we live/work. Thankfully no car payments on either, and my next one is likely going to be a downgrade.
Most of you ideals works except cars. Living in Little Rock, Arkansas with limited public transportation, a anti walking/biking culture, and summer temperatures that are insanely hot you need one car per adult. That includes my 16 yr old daughter. Her ability to drive herself to all of her school and sport activities has been a huge improvement to my wife and I lives. She drive a 17 year old car that is liability only, and must maintain her grades or the car is gone. Great article to really think about what you are spending your money on, and does it make sense!!