To get better, you must be brutally honest with yourself. Open yourself up to stinging criticism and judgement so that you may improve upon your deficiencies.
One of the downsides of putting yourself out there is that you open yourself up to misinterpretation or criticism. Fear of ridicule is one of the biggest reasons why 97% of people don't do anything to change their life.
Fear is also one of the most important ingredients for achieve financial independence.
Be Honest With Yourself To Progress
Why do we conform?
It all starts with getting bullied at school or admonished by our teachers or parents for doing something different. Is it no wonder why we all get in line once we graduate?
For some reason, I was always the kid who fought back against bullies, no matter how big or how menacing they were. I figured, even if I got pounded to a pulp, before I did, I'd be able to at least get in one blow and it'd be worth defending my honor.
Because of my defiant behavior, I went to the principal's office plenty of times. I was suspended from school twice for fighting and my parents were none too pleased. It didn't matter who started the fight, if you fought back, you were equally punished. I thought this was a terrible system, which gave me my first clues into a rigged society.
Despite the discomfort of doing something new, I'll continue to experiment in order to grow. After all, “progress” is my one word definition of happiness.
But sometimes, I've got to recognize failure by being honest. Here are a couple examples. I'd love for you to share some of your examples as well.
Honesty Is The Only Way To Get Better
Progress is my one-word definition of progress. Let's be brutally honest with ourselves if we want to get better.
1) Developing an audio version of each post.
When I'm too tired to sleep, I like to work to give insomnia the middle finger. One of the ideas that popped up was to make an audio version of each post.
Not only would the audio version include some ad lib to give each post more color, it was also a good opportunity to practice my oral communication skills. Further, an audio version would make FS accessible to those who enjoy listening to podcasts during their commute.
After completing three audio versions, I asked for feedback in my free private newsletter whether folks found it useful or useless. To my disappointment, I only got ten responses out of 20,000+ subscribers. Nine said audio versions were useful, one said it was useless.
In my mind, I was thinking I'd get at least 50 responses, just like how I did when I asked for parenting tips. But I think people were too afraid to speak the truth.
Brutal Honesty
So if I'm brutally honest, what does this mean? It means: 1) nobody cares about audio versions, 2) I haven't made a strong enough connection with my newsletter readers, 3) I haven't added enough value to my subscribers, 4) my voice hurts people's ears, and 5) my newsletters are too long.
It's hard to realize the truth, but the truth is the only way I can optimize my time and improve my verbal delivery. What's the solution? Only do audio versions if I have the energy. If I do an audio version, try to speak more clearly and introduce new stories.
But also realize that since nobody cares about the audio version, I should feel free to let loose and just have fun with the delivery.
Here in 2023, I decided to spit in fear's face and record the Financial Samurai podcast anyway. I've consistently recorded every week for over three years. Check my podcast out on Apple and leave a great review.
2) Making people think in different ways.
I enjoy reading material that leaves me thinking about a situation long after I'm done. It's the same thing with movies like Inception or the season finale of The Sopranos. Whatever happens next is based on your interpretation.
Despite everybody saying they want the freedom to choose, I've found that most people simply like to be told what to do. Due to my personal preference for deeper thinking, I've ended up confusing many of my readers with unclear prose.
Here's an example of one reader's feedback from my post, How To Stop Worrying About Your Child's Future In A Brutally Competitive World. The entire point of my post was to help parents stop worrying about their kids not getting straight A's, not getting into a prestigious university, and not working at a coveted job that pays well.
He was set off by these two sentence in the post: Imagine spending almost $500,000 in private K-12 tuition only to see your child go to an average university anybody could have gotten into. Because the school is average, he will likely land an average job or no job.
Critical Feedback From A Reader
I find it interesting that you state as fact the equivalency of a top-rated university with a top rated job. Perhaps Silicon Valley is more merit based than your previous field, but after your first 3 year gig after graduating from any school your peers rate you on merit and the sky is the limit.
I worked with very good people who trained a couple years in a local college and really bad people with PhDs from top rated schools.
I also believe it's somewhat telling of American ignorance to make a statement like that. Sort of like why Americans can't get universal health care in place. The powers that be are working hard influencing the population that “socialist” health care is bad.
It's becoming ingrained into American Life practices that prevent upward mobility of the masses. I don't have the legacy statistics handy but many college acceptances are handed to those who have not earned them.
I mean – Didn't George W. go to Harvard? Doesn't that provide an interesting data point on the quality of graduates from Top Rated schools?
My opinion is that your child needs a higher education as an pass to get into the workforce. If the industry is merit based, he needs work ethic, communication skills and a bunch of other attributes that are not taught in schools for success.
Embrace The Feedback
It sure sounds like he agrees with me, yet he doesn't realize it. Getting a college education today doesn't guarantee you squat anymore, and it certainly won't guarantee you anything 18 years from now. I even link to the post: What If You Go To Harvard And End Up A Nobody, yet the reader still thinks I only believe people who go to top rated universities get top rated jobs.
If I'm brutally honest with myself, what does this conflict mean? It means: 1) I write too much fluff, 2) confuse people, 3) don't understand the trend of shorter attention spans, and 4) stubbornly think people like multiple layers in a post just because I do.
So what's the solution? Write shorter, simpler posts that tell it like it is. Just like USA Today, dumb down posts to make them easier to understand.
For example, instead of sharing stories explaining why so many people have miserably low 401k balances, just write something simple like, “People don't save because life happens.” Bam! Time saved. Message conveyed. If I can't get my point across, I'm failing.
Seek Judgement To Get Better
Look, I know it's easier to do nothing. But if you want to get better, I challenge you to open up yourself to judgement and ridicule. Some people will be nicer than others when it comes time to evaluating what you've put out in the world. Others will project their insecurities onto you. Embrace the feedback and be brutally honest with yourself! It's the best way to get better.
Feedback from readers has given me the green light to introduce posts that are short and simple. Being honest made me realize I've been spending too much time doing things that don't matter. I've got to focus if I want to get better at writing good posts. As someone who needs more time, these discoveries are a blessing.
After publishing my instant Wall Street Journal bestseller, Buy This, Not That, I sought feedback. I read the critical reviews of my book on Amazon. Now, with my second book deal, I plan to utilize the feedback to write the next best personal finance book possible.
Other benefits of being honest with yourself:
- You'll stop blaming others for your problems and focus on improving yourself. As soon as you wipe away your delusion, you will become happier.
- You can scale your business faster because you're addressing the lowest common denominator. Personal finance sites that focus on saving and frugality are often much larger than sites that focus on different ways to earn more money.
- You will get paid and promoted faster at work because you'll more clearly recognize your blind spots. It's hard for your colleagues and friends to be brutally honest with your deficiencies because they don't want to hurt your feelings, get sued, or get murdered when you decide to go postal.
- To get better, demonstrate unwavering commitment to your craft. After I reached my 10-year mark on Financial Samurai, I finally felt like I could write with authority and ease.
Relate posts:
Be Unapologetically Fierce About Pursuing Your Dreams
How To Motivate Yourself When The Desire To Be Rich Is Gone
The Best Career Advice From A Mentor
Overcoming The Trough Of Sorrow
Update: Thanks to reader feedback, I've created a Financial Samurai iTunes channel to subscribe to. This way, if you prefer listening, you can always get the latest audio version delivered directly to your iPhone. Further, I've created a Financial Samurai Podcast Page that has every single podcast I've published, including the links to the respective posts. Bookmark it or search for it in my search box.
Readers, what are some of the ways you're putting yourself out there? What kinds of critical feedback have you received that helped make yourself a better person? Any more feedback for me to make FS better without spending more time? Thanks!
PS I’m here with teenagers, and, unfortunately, they report that no amount of teaching teenagers now will help you to relate to your own when they are sixteen. They do still like spending time with us, though not as much as when they were two. I do not have lessons to impart — teen would say some of the part is merely personalities, but I think accepting your children for who they are and joining each other for common interests is also part of it.
I haven’t read the other comments and can’t speak to the financial role of your blog (I’m unlikely — but not impossibly– to pay for this content. But I read because the posts are multilayered. I’m not a regular reader; but I’m vacationing in Hawaii and started thinking about buying a vacation home and knew that you’d post was the one I wanted to re-read, precisely because it is multilayered. Unlike the short to the point averaged articles at CNN and Forbes and WSJ, you describe the motivation, the fantasy, and the finances.
So I hope your brutal honesty doesn’t mean you embrace writing about your average self to the average population.
There’s a huge audience for YouTube videos. Try making a few of those. Maybe audio-only or slideshow-style. You might be able to break into a new market for audio/video personal finance content.
Sounds good. Care to help work on production with me? Seems like an endless amount of things to do, yet there’s not enough time.
Thanks for making these audio versions available. They’re great to have for treadmill days, or for a long walk with the dog. I am more of a reader than a listener, but I definitely appreciate having the option, and I know there are folks that won’t even bother if it’s not a podcast, so you did the right thing, for sure!
Hi Sam,
I like your posts and I love the podcast even more because it allows me to multi-task when I’m on my PC. I love playing podcasts or music on the background while I’m surfing the net, doing something on my computer, driving, eating or doing a chore. As for people misinterpreting your proses, I can’t say that I’ve encountered that issue because I can tell that you use very careful language when you state a personal opinion. I guess I was wrong but I do know that you can’t please everyone and an opinion is just an opinion, everyone is entitle to one. Discussions are a good way for people with different ideas to exchange points of views, but retaliating to a misunderstood statement or opinion only reflects poorly on yourself.
Overall, I consider myself a good person so for my actions to be questioned as in bad taste I have an imperfect system I abide by in order to determine if I should correct my behavior. I measure what I say or do as right or wrong based on a consensus; if the majority of people I know don’t disapprove then I don’t correct myself, if the majority do disagree with my actions then I try to correct it. It’s not a perfect system but I don’t think there exists one that can please everyone from expressing their own opinions.
It’s not your deeper thinking, it is your unclear prose that is the cause of confusion. People come here for your unique perspective, so keep it up! Even if traffic here isn’t as big as other basic financial advice sites, the content here is better. Nothing to learn from the other sites.
Focus on a clear, organized, logical, edited posts (with humor and personal stories thrown in), but don’t dumb down your messages.
Sounds good. I know I’m not very good writer, but I’ll keep on trying to improve. Do you have some writing tips for me or some examples of posts you’ve written that I can try and emulate? Thanks!
Hey Sam,
I noticed the audio version of your posts a few weeks and gave it a listen instead of reading your posts exclusively. I found it helpful that you are reading the stuff you wrote but more comfortable listening to it on my desktop/laptop than on mobile because I like reading the posts as I am listening to the audio version at the same time. Obviously you can’t do that when your driving since you have the audio only.
I also like the ab-lib stuff you put on the audio. It puts more clarity to further describe what you were writing in your post.
And about your newsletter, I admit that I do not thoroughly read the whole thing. I skim through it and reminds me what you have going on in the blog. It’s probably why I didn’t notice the audio version until recently.
Sam, good post, what you and me and the 3% who care know that most people wont be honest with you so you need to always be honest, and no matter how much praise you get, you can always improve!
And likewise you need to pick your spots in giving feedback, both in a group setting and 1-1. Always give one positive before the negative….
Dont get bummed on low feedback, we post what they think is great content that supposedly got to 80,000 people and we get a hundred clicks. But other content to a different honest gets 50% click through. People click when they think what you deliver adds value for them
Last – podcasts 7 min maximum and 3 min for video. that’s it….
FWIW – I’m a reader/visual person, I will always pick the written word over audio/video. I do listen to a few podcasts, and they are generally based around conversations/interviews – it’s never just one solo host.
Some of us really just prefer reading to listening – I read a lot of personal finance/entrepreneurship books (I have like 3 on my desk I just checked out from the library…), so I don’t want to listen to PF/entrepreneurship podcasts. I do listen to political podcasts though – because reading about politics makes me want to throw the book across the room, and I know I won’t throw my smartphone across the room ;)
Nothing against your voice at all! I just feel I personally absorb more by reading – that’s just my learning style and what I prefer. For some reason, I tend to tune in and out while listening to podcasts/radio, which means politics podcasts are perfect (you can tune out here and there and still get the gist/be informed about the crazy stuff going on) – but I would hate to miss out on anything from the great PF/entrepreneur writers out there.
I understand being brutally honest… I’ve been kicking it around for my own blog. About a year ago I had phenomenal readership, then I took a break from blogging (work ramped up), that was a huge mistake, and over the last year of steady blogging, my numbers haven’t rebounded. Are those readers gone for good? Maybe. Maybe it’s time to move on.
So for now I’m diversifying with some other blogs to see if it’s a) my topic (maybe my current, “old” blog isn’t in style anymore or b) my writing (maybe I overall suck at connecting to readers, and any blog/endeavor I take on will fail).
I’m giving it 6 months and going hard for those 6 months. I intend to evaluate in 6 months and make the hard decisions about what moving forward looks like. I have two good degrees that are looking for people like me, so I know I have a fall-back plan. :)
Dear Sam. I have teachers, students and two sisters which means I get plenty of feedback.
The problem is converting it in a useful way. It’s so easy to be defensive: what does X really know about Y. Would love to find more ways to actually use the feedback.
Regarding your newsletter. It’s simply awesome. Sure improve, but please don’t cutback.
Regarding the audioversions. They weren’t my cup of tea. Reading (perhaps especially as non-native speaker) forces me to concentrate. Simply listening ends up into nodding along without actually retaining much. I hope you understand
One possible improvement could be: a dedicated team of contributors who under your supervision could write perhaps 1/2 articles a year specifically about their expertise/experience.
Not guestbloggerss with 20 links to their own website with basically the same info as you give us, but assistant-samurais writing about complex subjects. If this sounds as too much of a management/hassle you could also put out contests (dear readers write 1000 words about Z), but that might result in lesser quality work than it would under your ‘strict’ supervision.
I was gonna get my wife to start writing, but she ended up having a baby instead. I’ll take it! Our son is the best thing ever. So much work, but so much joy.
I want to get more long time readers to share their path to financial independence. Case studies and such. Should be good! Just need to find the time to edit… which actually could take a long while.
I can imagine. Although I’d currently pick two extra hands to help me write papers.
That sounds like fun provided it adds to your blog instead of being just the same content in different words. You teach us so much it would be difficult (at least for me) to make a worthwhile contribution.
Was more thinking like: how has Brexit affected reader X’s plans; how to use globalization instead of being a (financial) victim; a life/finance guide for recent graduates; etc.
Regarding your editing fears. Based on the data from ‘who is the typical fin. sam. reader’ and the many quality comments you have little to worry about. A rough draft, a quick phone call and a final touchup by you would go a long way.
Got it. In the spirit of taking action, I love for you to submit I guess post that as well written that I don’t have to edit too much! Shoot me an email. And let’s make this happen.
Hi Sam,
Been reading your site since late 2013, thanks for the great reads all these years! I also, spend 2 hours a day in the car, so listen to a lot of podcasts…. When your audio links first appeared, I assumed they were video ads that weren’t properly loading. They still kind of look like this. Perhaps adding some basic text around the link will help readers to better identify what they are looking at.
I eventually clicked one and was pleasantly surprised to find it was an audio version of the post! I’ve listened to a handful since and have enjoyed what I’ve heard. As another commenter pointed out I think you would really benefit by placing the audio within it’s own tab/page. That way listeners know where to go to quickly press play. Of course being on itunes or soundcloud is helpful. That being said I listen to plenty of podcasts direct from owners sites.
Currently, I prefer reading your content vs listening. From what I’ve listened to so far, admittedly only a handful, I find the audio to be ~95% the text from your site. Nothing wrong with that, I just feel I can gain more insight from the additional content in the comments section, so that’s the route I’ve been sticking with. For your audio, I’d love to hear you go off the rails more. Though that means spending more time not less.
Based on your current format have you considered buying time by paying some-one to do the voice overs?
In my personal life I’m trying to be brutally honest with myself in two main areas. First is with trying to understand what is behind feelings of discontent & unhappiness that I’ve had with my work. This continues to be especially tricky to grasp as I run my own small business. With so many emotions it is hard for me to objectively determine the truth here. I feel I’ve started making small progress by changing my mindset to believe it is possible to be successful not to the detriment of the things I love outside of work. But I still struggle with this daily and haven’t really turned the corner…..
Second area is in my personal health and fitness. I’ve gone from being in great shape to poor shape in a 5 year period. I have slowly blamed this on my work, my wife, my life. The truth however is that I have completely de-prioritized my health, made no effort to grow or sustain my fitness and have been too lazy to break the forming habits that make it harder and harder to get back to a semblance of the fitness I previously enjoyed.
Geez… seems I need to get back to work on myself here :)
May your posts remain meaty!
Dang, two hours in the car a day is a lot. Here’s hoping my audio versions make the commute a little better.
A Financial Samurai Podcast Page with all my audio versions so far.
The Financial Samurai iTunes channel that currently highlights the latest four podcasts, and will automatically notify you of latest podcasts.
Time to make health a priority again!
If you put the audio on the iOS podcasts app, I would subscribe to t.
On the agenda before year end. A no brainer!
Also would be nice if it was on Apple News.
Sounds good. Will give Apple a ring and make it so.
Check it out: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/financial-samurai/id1324765509?mt=2
Does this work?
It works. I’m subscribed and downloaded the latest episode.
Did you just add it? I searched this morning, and it wasn’t there.
That was quick.
I just submitted it late morning. My concern is that it only shows the last 4 episodes due to my Feedburner, and if I publish a new post/podcast, it will drop the oldest one and only keep 4. So I gotta figure out how to get it to keep all the podcasts.
Just listened to all the podcast episodes. Great work.
I would not have listened to the audio if it wasn’t on the iOS podcasts app. So, I think that’s a good way to get more listeners.
So, far everyone has rated you five stars.
Yes! You are totally right Sam. The only way to get ahead is to be honest with yourself – and we are oh so good at lying to ourselves. The timing of your article is uncanny. I just wrote an article on being honest with yourself this weekend – check it out tomorrow!
Being judged is uncomfortable for anyone. I agree with you though that if you are willing and embrace judgement it can help you in the future. No one grows by staying in their comfort zone. When you venture outside of that comfort zone you give yourself the chance to grow.
I’ve never commented before, but after reading that I felt like I should.
Honestly I’d prefer if you have a big topic, that is 1500 words and makes three points about a topic, to break it into three posts, each slightly more than 500 words. This would help with the communication by priming people to see your overarching point in the last post while still gleaning some value from each post.
It would also mean you wouldn’t have to force yourself to sit down quite as long to make a post.
OR you could just keep doing what you’re doing. Since it has kept me coming back each week.
Oh, also – I always listen to audio books between 1.25x speed and 2x speed. The inability to speed it up is frustrating when that has become my habit.
I always remember there is an audio version at the end, after already reading the article since it is at the bottom. And thus it becomes useless to me.
Makes sense. You should be about to listen at a faster speed now via my Financial Samurai iTunes channel that currently highlights the latest four podcasts, and will automatically notify you of latest podcasts.
Thanks!
An audio version would be good for traffic, but without interaction with a interviewee it would not be added benefit for me.
I read FS because Sam tells a story often about investments that I would have never considered. I’m interested in the thought process throughout the investment, which I learn from regardless. I consider what mistakes were made and what I would have done differently along with new ideas. I’m interested in the story, which is what I think is unique and interesting. For example I read the Berkshire annual letter every year because Buffett tells a story about the economy which is well worth its price. However not once will I ever learn anything about one of his more recent successes or failures. What went wrong with his valuation of IBM or TSCDY. He’ll never tell.
When I went to college career fairs I never learned anything from it. Not one recruiter told me anything about their career path. When I recruited, my booth was often the only booth 20 or 30 students deep because I told a story about the career path I was on. It wasn’t applicable to everyone, but I’m sure the students at least walked away with a new idea or something to consider. So I hope Sam continues to tell his stories.
I like your style, Sam. Dare to be different. But don’t shrink from the flak that comes your way. Take it all in without rancor and see if any of it is warranted.
I would love a Financial Samurai podcast, and yet I never listen to the audio version. I guess I am never sure what the audio files are supposed to “be” ?
It goes like this:
1) I start reading a post
2) I come across some audio link that seems randomly distributed… Sometimes at the beginning, sometimes kind of under picture captions, sometimes the end… depends how my phone shows the page, too
3) I think wait, what is this? Extra content or he’ll just read this to me?
4) I figure, screw it. I came here ready to read, so I will keep on reading for now and get the good article I am used to
If I were you, I’d create a separate podcast/audio page on the site so visitors are prepared for the format in which content is about to start coming at them. Even if it is just a reading of a written article, people can more clearly seek out the version they want.
Keep the interesting stuff coming!
Good feedback. In this article, I put the audio version at the end b/c nobody cares. But I think I’ll create a PAGE where it has all my audio versions. I see Financial Samurai in my Podcast app on my iphone, but I don’t know what the link is. Sigh. But a page is a good idea.
I know if I keep this up for a year, I’ll have over 100 audio podcasts. That’s some meaty content that can be packaged into something good. It just takes time and consistency.
You will always know where the podcasts will be now:
Here’s the Financial Samurai Podcast Page with all my audio versions so far.
I also created a Financial Samurai iTunes channel that currently highlights the latest four podcasts, and will automatically notify you of latest podcasts.
Hi Sam,
Your writing style is excellent. I love your numerical & statistical examples. The level of depth and balanced arguments in your articles is perfect.
I’m generally not a big fan of audio podcasts. I prefer reading your articles as well as drilling into your hyperlinks.
Hi Sam,
Financial Samurai is by far my favorite blog on the Internet! For me it’s like reading a John Grisham book. I can’t wait to see what happens in the end. Sometimes I will save the articles for a week just so I can binge read them like a Netflix show. I don’t go the audio route, but than again I still have 2 newspapers delivered in the morning, so I’m probably to much of a dinosaur to change. I also love the comment section. I especially like the comments that challenge you just so I can see how you respond.
The one thing I don’t understand is why would you change anything in your blog in an attempt to please anyone but yourself. I thought the whole point of being FI is to be able to do what you want when you want.
I thank you for all the free content you provide and wish you and your family a Merry Christmas.
Thanks, Bill
Howdy Bill,
That’s some pretty cool feedback! Thanks. I try to write what I want to read. And if what I’m writing sounds boring or ads no value, then I can it. Gotta at least TRY to keep things interesting right? Hence the storytelling.
Great reminder about the point of FI. I’m constantly drawn to the mantra: If I can, I should. Because I know one day I won’t have the energy or creativity anymore. Life is short. I’d like to speak to my son long after I’m gone.
Best,
Sam
Sam,
You’re doing just fine. Keep up the good work and “keep on writin”.
Happy Holidays to you and your family!
I commend you immensely for blogging as long as you have and for publishing your own personal experiences. It is not easy to put yourself out there.
You’ve taught us all so many things and your writing style is truly unique. You have a special gift!
Ain’t nobody got time for podcasts man! I’d much rather take a few minutes to read an article and scan through the comments than spend 10-15 mins to listen to the same thing via podcast (is that how long they generally run? haven’t listened to one in forever ). I could probably get through 3 good blog posts in the same amount of time it would take me to listen to just one podcast. Please don’t dumb down the posts either. I like mutiple layers, I’m into deep thought.
Long time reader since 2009 and it’s been amazing to see how this blog has developed into an authority site. You’ve worked hard and I understand you have to look at what works best for business growth. In my opinion though, ain’t noting wrong around here man, keep calm and carry on.
Hi Sam, I like your posts just the way they are:) and obviously lots of other readers do too! We are all different so it doesn’t matter what you do, readers will still not all get the same out of each post. Sometimes I read comments and I am surprised at what has gotten other readers’ attention, totally different from me.
I am not big on audio but I know lots of people are.