Everybody wants to be happy all the time. Unfortunately, there are a lot of unhappy and lonely people all around us, especially post pandemic. This post looks at happiness by age and how happiness changes over time.
It's interesting to see how much happiness changes at different points in our lives. Thankfully, we tend to get happier as we get older.
You might think having more money increases happiness, but that's not always the case. In my experience, money simply amplifies who you are.
How Happy Am I Currently?
We should all ask ourselves how happy are we currently.
Today, if I were to rate my happiness on a scale of 1 – 10, 10 being deliriously happy, I would give myself a 7.5. I'm 47 years old. Historically, I'd say my happiness probably fluctuated between a 5-8 during my high school years, a 7-9 in my college years, and a 6-8 in my 20s and early 30s.
In general, I'm a happy person. Just the other day, the afterschool event coordinator came up to me and said, “Every time I see you, I feel happier because you're so positive.” That made me feel good, as I was just being myself.
My Happiness By Age
High school was stressful because I knew so much of my future was riding on getting good grades and SAT scores. Combine academic pressure with athletic demands and peer pressure to be “cool,” I wonder why more kids don't fall into the deep end, especially with absentee parents working all the time.
College was pretty exhilarating due to all the sudden freedom. Food was plentiful and the parties outrageously fun. Being able to date so many people was a blast. So was learning new subjects. The only real pressure from college came from the expectation of finding a good job. Spending four years of time and lots of money only to end up unemployed would be a great disappointment.
Before both of my kids went to school full-time, my happiness was around a 7 because being a full-time father was exhausting. I was getting up 2-3 hours before my wife and kids every morning since 2017 to work on Financial Samurai and manage our finances. Then I tried to spend most of the day taking care of the kids.
Once both my kids started going to school full-time in September 2024, my happiness ticked up to an 8 because I gained more freedom. In a way, I felt like I returned closer to the early retirement lifestyle I enjoyed for five years before having kids.
Peak Happiness Only Lasted Two Months
The relief of actually getting a full-time job in 1999 catapulted my happiness to a 9. But the happiness didn't last due to the 70+ hour work weeks. Getting in before sunrise and leaving after sunset got depressing after a while. My happiness tumbled to a 6 when I realized all my work in college had led to one big endless grind.
Even a generous promotion at age 27 only made me a 9 level happy for a couple months. Then it was back to being a whipping boy for clients and playing corporate politics. By 2011, my happiness again dropped to a 6. The financial crisis had taken its toll and I was tired of doing the same crap.
It was in October 2011 while drinking an overpriced Mythos beer at the top of Santorini, Greece that my happiness rocketed to a 10.
I was overlooking the crater on a sunny 78 degree day and had just earned $1,200 via Paypal from an advertising client in the span of 30 minutes. It wasn't the money that made me happy, it was the realization that I found a way out of prison.
Then Happiness Came Tumbling Down
Ever since I engineered my layoff in 2012 at the age of 34, my happiness level has stayed between 7-8, with only brief moments of 9-10.
I attribute my happiness to an incredible wife, the growth of Financial Samurai, good health, and a bull market. But one day my happiness took a tumble, and it stayed around a 5 for about three weeks.
What happened?
During these three weeks, I experienced tremendous lower back pain – pain I hadn't suffered in over 15 years. Online, I was being judged by non-parents regarding my insurance plan for my son's future.
Offline, I was tired because I stubbornly kept a rigorous posting schedule despite now being a full-time dad between 8am – 10pm every day since birth.
Having children creates so much joy. But children also bring about misery due to constant exhaustion and worry.
Check out the best reason to retire early where I talk more in detail about my happiness journey. With early retirement, I was able to move up the happiness curve quicker and for longer.
Happiness By Age Across The World
As any rational person would do, I began researching whether something was wrong with me. Here are some interesting charts on happiness and age I found. Can you see any patterns?
Well what do you know. At the age of 45, I'm in the beginning stages of “the trough of unhappiness.” In America, we experience a dip in happiness between the ages of 35 – 60.
Even in the European Union, where many of the happiest countries in the world are located, there's a trough of happiness between 35 – 60. If you can live past 60, the good thing is that happiness generally improves until death.
The only country where you don't want to live is Russia, where from birth happiness is on a continuous decline! No wonder why the Russians like to meddle with other country's politics and go to war with its neighbor, Ukraine. They wanted out of the motherland after realizing how good others got it.
What Happens Between The Age Of 35 – 60 To Cause Unhappiness?
You would think that being financially independent at 40, owning a sustainable lifestyle business, receiving regular positive feedback from readers, and having a family would give me maximum happiness.
But it has not due to three main reasons.
1) Hedonic adaptation.
The beautiful thing about the human spirit is that even in dire situations, we have the ability to keep hope alive. At the same time, even if you have every thing you want, the happiness boost never lasts long. We always revert back to our steady state of happiness over the long term.
Think about all the good things that have happened to you: getting into college, getting a job, getting a promotion, getting a raise, finding a partner, finally feeling rich, buying your dream home, having a baby, making a best friend etc.
Each event might give you a 1 or 2 point boost, but sooner or later, the boost will fade as responsibility kicks in. It's kind of sad really.
2) Sandwiched in the middle.
As a new father, I feel the strains of taking care of my little one. His mom and I are his guardian, physical therapist, educator, and caretaker all-in-one. At the same time, our parents are over 70, and they can no longer walk, climb stairs, drive, remember, and think as they once did.
Folks between the age of 35 – 60 are dealing with the responsibility of caring for two generations, while usually also managing their careers. Financial strain may come into play due to the cost of healthcare, day care, and assisted-living care. My wife had to fly to Japan to help deal with her deceased aunt's estate. My wife was stressed out for two months!
Our steady stress comes from being 5+ hours away by plane from both sets of parents. We worry about basic things like whether they'll be able to safely maneuver the stairs without falling.
It would be amazing if they all came to the Bay Area so we can check in on them every week. But they are set in their ways, so it's up to us to move as soon as our son can become a little more independent.
Below is a great chart that shows how happiness dips for parents. Parents are least happy when their kids are 5 and in their teenage years. After the children leave the nest, happiness returns! Before having more children, really think about this chart.
3) Fading Health.
After turning 40 I suffered back pain for the first time since my 20s, sprained my left ankle playing tennis, and tore muscles in both quadriceps playing softball. What the hell? The left ankle sprain happened even though I was wearing an ankle brace.
We were 2 hours, 10 minutes into a match when I went the wrong way guessing for an overhead smash. Both quads were strained because I had not properly warmed up. I hadn't gone from a standing position to a full sprint after hitting a ball in over a decade.
Our bodies rarely keep up with our minds because most of us are no longer manual laborers. My mind is strong because I exercise it every day thanks to this site.
But my body is weak because I don't work out, don't stretch, and only play a sport at most three times a week. Nothing is worse than being injured or sick, especially when it rarely happens. Now my eyes are fading and getting dry extremely quickly. My writing productivity is numbered.
Happiness by age largely depends on your mental and physical health. I got to say, when I retired, a lot of my chronic pain went away within six months. The health benefits of early retirement are priceless. But so is greater happiness due to retiring early!
Below is a chart I drew that showed the best reason to retire early: greater happiness sooner for longer.
Money Is Just One Part Of Happiness
To be a truly holistic site that helps people, going forward, it's important Financial Samurai focuses more on Relationships and Health instead of just wealth creation. After all, we can have all the money in the world and it will mean nothing if we don't feel good and have nobody to share it with.
Let's optimize for happiness by building incredible friendships. Let's stay in great shape so we can live longer and increase our quality of life. Finally, let's build passive income so we have the freedom to choose our lives. In addition, it's vital we find purpose in our lives that make us get out of bed with motivation.
The next time a 35 – 60 year old makes you feel bad, give them a pass, including myself. And if you want to really get a happiness boost, find some 70+ year olds to hang out with. They might even teach you a thing or two about living a wonderful life.
Let's try to improve our happiness by age at every age. If we get our finances and our health right, our happiness should increase.
Recommendation For Greater Happiness: Life Insurance
If there's one thing the pandemic has taught us, it's that life is not guaranteed. Uncertainty causes unhappiness. We must do everything we can to protect our children while they are still dependents.
As a result, please get life insurance if you want to boost your happiness. Not only should you get enough life insurance to cover your liabilities, your life insurance term should last long enough to get them through college.
Getting life insurance provides mental stress relief. With less stress, comes more happiness!
The best place to get life insurance is through PolicyGenius. PolicyGenius will help you find the best plan for the lowest price tailored to your needs. PolicyGenius provides free, no-obligation quotes so you can get the best rate.
In the past, you would have to get a life insurance quote by applying to individual carriers – the process was completely opaque. Now, you can have multiple qualified life insurance carriers compete for your business after applying on PolicyGenius. It's so much more efficient!
Both My Wife And I Are Set With Life Insurance
After eight years of owning life insurance, my wife decided to check on PolicyGenius to see if should could do better. Lo and behold, my wife was able to double her life insurance coverage for less money. All this time, she thought she was getting the best deal with her existing carrier.
If you don't have life insurance, please get life insurance before you need to. Life insurance gets more expensive the older you get. If you get sick, depending on the severity of your sickness, you might not be able to qualify.
If you do have life insurance, I highly recommend checking PolicyGenius to try and get a better deal. Chances are high you're not getting the best terms. Let's protect our family!
Invest In Real Estate To Build More Wealth And Security
Money brings more financial security and freedom. Therefore, the more money you have, the more sustainable happiness you should have. Once you know you and your family will never starve or be homeless, you can focus more on things that matter to you.
Real estate is my favorite asset class because it is more stable, generates income, and provides utility. In 20 years you and your children will be happy that you invested in real estate today.
Check out Fundrise. Fundrise offers funds that mainly invest in residential and industrial properties in the Sunbelt, where valuations are lower and yields are higher. The firm manages about $3 billion in assets for over 350,000 investors looking to diversify and earn more passive income.
Another great private real estate investing platform is Crowdstreet. Crowdstreet offers accredited investors individual deals run by sponsors that have been pre-vetted for strong track records. Many of their deals are in 18-hour cities where there is potentially greater upside due to higher growth rates. You can build your own select real estate portfolio with CrowdStreet.
I've personally invested $954,000 in private real estate since 2016 to diversify my holdings. I also want to take advantage of demographic shifts toward lower-cost areas of the country and earn more passive income. We're in a multi-decade trend of relocating to the Sunbelt region thanks to technology. And I think it's a great idea to invest in long-term trends.
Both platforms are sponsors of Financial Samurai and Financial Samurai is a six-figure investor in Fundrise.
Your comment about Russia made me laugh. I would happily live in Russia over much of the world. Africa? Central America? Pakistan? India and most of the middle east? No thanks!
Russia ” interfered” in our election? Lol. What by posting memes or Facebook posts? Russia did not force anyone to vote for Trump. He will probably win again with the total whack job candidates the Democrats put up.
Ukraine interfered in our election too. I am sure others did, too. The US interfered in Israel’s election under Obama but we all know the American press is overwhelmingly Democrat and covered for Obama.
On a side note this is a good site. You do a good job.
The Russian thing gave me giggles. I would for sure take Russia over living in much of the world and for sure would take it over living in some American ghetto cities….as most Americans would.
So long as I can make readers laugh or learn, my job is fulfilling and done.
Nick, the fact you could relate anything to politics and use whataboutism is truly both amazing and pathetic. But keep giggling.
Sam – Articles like this show that you are a very insightful person, and I think you should really be the next Oprah as you like to help people, and you just have a ton of insight on the human condition, as well as being very self-aware.
I’m guessing you do not actually want to be the next Oprah (because of the fame it would bring), but I think you’re really doing a service by writing for a general audience on your web site to help all of us reach our goals.
BTW, thanks for the podcasts. I listen to them as I drive to and from work, and I learn a lot.
Thanks for your comment! Glad you’ve been able to listen to some of the podcasts.
Yeah, I don’t want fame at all. Check out this post: Be Rich Not Famous: The Joy Of Being A Nobody
I am trending at around an 8 right now. I finished my master’s degree a month ago, and my husband and I make enough to where we can do updates on our home that we believe improve our happiness. Plus, I have a good job and I really like my coworkers. Working 40 hours a week and then going to school in the evenings SUCKED… I must have been at a 4-5 happiness level back then. Granted…I am an 8 because I am putting off studying for the Certified Public Accountant exam… I know that once I start studying for that beast, my happiness level will certainly drop.
Excellent article. I’d agree with the cheeriness happening around 60+. My parents were bubbly and cheerful when I had my third child at 36. I was tired, achy, and not so cheerful with the duties of managing a family. It was weird that we were so different emotionally, but your article does a wonderful job of explaining the reasons. My parents were active and not longer in the sandwich generation – freer to be adventurous and zestful about life. And I was beginning to enter the tougher age of life with its multiple responsibilities for younger and older family members.
This is a great thread- because all things, money, happiness, and health are correlated to a certain extent. I would agree with the curve going higher post high school. Once you are able to work, save, invest and do things you like the curve goes up. I hit my highs at 36 and 42 as I got to do both items on my so called bucket list through sheer luck- I’m booking marking this one- to check in with myself- the one thing I need to do is excercise more.
I have absolutely both observed and felt this fluctuation with age. But this graph, with a range from 6.2 to 7, over exaggerates this variation. What I find remarkable is how well we adapt to our circumstances at any age. As I wrote in a letter to my younger self: relax, kid – you’ll be fine.
Statistically within your real life social circle how many couples are still married vs divorced as a ratio in your demographic today?
Interesting take on things, Sam.
I have to wonder if this pursuit of happiness over all is wise, though.
As the data shows, the time when babies show up and parents shuffle off is a time of considerable unhappiness. But I’d argue that unhappiness is necessary. It gives you something to beat down, something to live up to.
It’s not fun being a great parent all the time, but I’ve never heard anyone honestly say they wish they didn’t have to do it. Meaning is much more important.
I guess I don’t know much of anything being in my twenties still. But I notice two things about happiness vs meaning. You can meet people who have difficult yet meaningful jobs like nurses or volunteer firefighters that, despite somewhat regular gripes, could never give it up. And, you meet people with what are, on paper, cushy gigs that ultimately lack meaning, and those people usually get more and more unhappy and resentful over time.
I don’t like making websites or studying grammar or watching charts. I don’t like exercise or waking up early. I don’t always even like my job. But all these things have meaning because they’re integrated into my personal story. They give my life meaning and a direction. I wouldn’t trade that to live in the 10-moments forever. As you said, hedonic adaptation is a thing, and when it kicks in AND you lack meaning to keep you pushing through, you’re in trouble.
Very interesting stats! I’ve never seen happiness described that way before.
I hear you on the hedonic adaptation. No matter what good things happen to us, we always get used to it after a period of time. What I found is that meeting new people and travelling has helped a LOT in changing things up so I don’t get into a rut. Things are always changing and I never feel bored. Ditto with passion projects. There’s always a new set of challenges to face and the feeling of building something never gets old.
Health is definitely something we shouldn’t take for granted. No matter how much money you have, if you don’t have health, you can’t be happy.
Hey, Sam,
Speaking from the trough of sorrow here in my 40’s! And my case is not bad! Maybe a 7-8. I don’t have everything I want, but I am immensely grateful for what I have. I don’t just KNOW that I am lucky, I FEEL that I am lucky to have the life opportunities that I do. I feel lucky just being able to feel lucky because I know that’s where much of my happiness comes from. Your happiness is always going to correlate with how much gratitude is in your heart.
Meanwhile, I’m guessing that the reason why people come out of the trough in their early 60’s is that they’ve been figuring out the kinks in their lives, building on their self-esteem, letting go of the petty unimportant issues. It’s not that they’ve passively existed from 35-60 and magically come out on the other side.
Don’t forget the importance of getting a good sleep in terms of taking care of yourself.
BTW I love that you have podcasts now. I’m usually so busy, that I don’t have time to read. All my news intake is through my ears as I use my eyes to do my work, so this format is a win for me. Also, with your style of writing, I’ve always felt like you were in conversation anyway. Podcasts suit you :)
Interesting, I am 39 single and no kids. Dad is 75 y.o and has had an open heart surgery couple of years ago, so obviously that’s my biggest source of worry. But its easy for me to spend one whole day every week with him and doing his favorite activity. Which is walking and discussing the current world affair. I have to say that these are some of the happiest times of my life. I have enough resources and time to do whatever I want to do and care for my loved ones as well, in that sense I feel very fortunate since I have no idea how long dad will be with us. I could see how having children would take away a lot of resources and time from me.
I see my friends and my sister who have to make very different choices in life comparing to me because they chose to have children. But I guess life is all about give and take. Obviously my sister can’t imagine her life without my nephew and that means that she has to cut back on spending time with our parents. I guess there are different sources of joy and love in life and the good news is that there is enough to go around for all of us in different forms.
I live a simple life and avoid complications. When I was younger I was trying to survive and was mostly unhappy because it was never ending stress. Because I live simply (and remember very clearly what survival mode felt like) I’m happy at least 80% of the time. I find others sense this and it puts them as ease. I avoid a high overhead, save aggressively, am very careful in preserving my health, have no kids and don’t define myself by my (romantic or otherwise) relationships. When I have moments where I’m not happy I realize it is an emotion and I don’t let it define my reality. I ask myself if I’m hungry, tired, etc. and if so I fulfill my need, which resets my balance. If I’m sad or unhappy I focus on something else and find it quickly fades.
A fun book “Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids” helped me to understand that your happiness level drops about 10% after first kid, a further 1.5% upon the arrival of the second and even after that, no matter how many kids you have. The book also has simple tips on how to remain sane and happy during the early years. I recommend it for any young parent feeling overwhelmed. It is an easy read too.
My other tip regarding older parents is to strive to get some help in place before a health disaster. Even if it is someone just checking on them a couple hours a week or doing some small task and checking on them without them really know they are being checked on. It can at least lower stress a day or two a week for a out of state relative. Yes, it may take a couple people to find the right fit but it is better then waiting until they are getting discharged and scrambling to find someone and paying double by using an agency. This of course if you have the extra money although it might only end up being a couple hundred dollars a month. The task could be anything and if you find someone with past medical degree going with them to medical appointments can be valuable. I work in healthcare and surprised how many patients who are just a little bit confused come in alone and sign up for a fairly big surgery.
Love this post and all of the comments. I’m impressed by everyone’s ability to measure their happiness on the 1-10 scale. In general I’m a pretty happy person, but it does give me pause to put a number to it. Sometimes I find myself way to critical about things (by product of a career as a management consultant always trying to problem solve). Have periodically found myself on the lower end of the scale and struggling to find a different perspective. BEST THING I did was a simple exercise from some self help book. Draw a horizontal line and from your earliest memory until now write all of the good memories above the line and all of the bad memories below the line (in chronological order). I quickly found that vast majority of the happy memories were in my teens and early 20s and the negatives crept in significantly once I started my career. I realized that I let work create a new dynamic vs. building off the things I love – being outside, being active, being in group/team settings, etc… Made several changes and that made all the difference!
Interesting chart on the Happiness vs Per Capita Income.
My 1st was born when I was in SF. When my wife was pregnant, she couldn’t stand the smell of food. Our eating became a difficult task, I’m not that great in the kitchen. My wife developed frizzy hair for the first time in her life after the baby was born. It was us handling the whiny kid, feeding him in the middle of the night, warming his milk bottle at 3 am, standing in the kitchen. Damn, it was hard. My 2nd was born in Pune (India). We decided to hire a cook (more affordable). Kitchen issues sorted. It’s always a full-time job to handle a kid but having kitchen worries reduced 80% was a huge help. Once in a few months, a grandparent visited. We welcomed the short breaks and the useful advice on how to take care of the baby with less stress.
I felt that even though I was 37 when the 2nd came (as opposed to 32 for the 1st), I had more energy left to play with him and enjoy him. The baby too, seems to me, to be a happier child. Perhaps lesser stress on the parents is one factor that contributes to your own happiness levels later in life?
Overall I feel my happiness level has increased every year. It’s changed in many ways over time but I do feel pretty darn happy and I’m really grateful for that. I try not to let too many things bother me, maybe that has something to do with it. Sure there are things that could be better in my life that would bring me more happiness but I just feel lucky every day so I really can’t ask for more. There will always be somethings that could be better but I’ve been trying to let go of hoping for perfectection bc that simply isn’t realistic. I try to make the most of what I have even though I know my ability to get things done has really taken a nose dive in the last year and a half.
Really insightful charts btw. I’m surprised the elderly are so happy! I look forward to that! :)
So true about the sandwich generation. Having 2 young kids, dealing with work, and having older parents with health issues is tough. So carefree and stressfree when I was in college…for the most part. Both my wife’s parents and my parents are local so we can check up on them. I love my parents and don’t want to sound like a horrible son but having them local can be stressful at times as well. The weekdays are filled with work and pretty much every Sunday my mom wants us to come over so she can see the grandkids. My MIL…we visit as well but not as often. With that as well as kids’ activities and household chores/errands…the weekend is pretty much shot. I guess I need to reach FIRE to free up some time!
Ah, the downsides of having the parents live so close! What if you just tell her “not this weekend” and highlight how so many folks only see their parents once a quarter or even once a year? Will she be supremely offended? What about just dropping the kids off for an hour or two? :)
Haha, I was contemplating highlighting how my cousins don’t see their mom (my mom’s sister) EVERY weekend. My mom is pretty good at laying that Asian mom guilt on thick though…or maybe I’m just very susceptible to it =)
Thank you, Sam! This is by far one of my favorite of your posts! I used to have chronic lower back pains even AFTER i became financial independent since 2012 (~$5M net worth, grown to $8M since). My pains only stopped after I stopped interacting with corporate slaves around me at work – I stopped small talks, exchanging meaningless pleasantries, ignoring them when passing in the hallways, and make sure they know I have the FU money and i don’t give a fuck about them. I only hang out with young 25 years newly grad and senior 55+ folks who’ve already made it, and that has cured my back pains like nothing else (and i’ve tried them all: physical therapy, chiro, acupuncture, massage, core training, you name it, i’ve tried it).
I’m absolutely convinced it’s the people that we interact with EVERYDAY that determine our happiness.
My mood fluctuates throughout the day. At age 51 and plagued by the “M” word, I’ve realized that both sadness and happiness are feelings that come and go, sometimes without cause or warning. I think this happens to most people, and throughout our entire lives, but when we’re younger we have so much more on our plates (building careers, raising children, homes, BILLS) that our minds are less focused on ourselves and our fleeting emotions.
With more freedom on my hands, I find I am happiest when I’m working on home reno projects. Redesigning houses is my passion, and I enjoy the physically demanding work. (Painting = Meditation, in my book.)
When I’m at my lowest during the day, when pesky thoughts of personal failures, fear of the future, or troubled relationships enter my head, I put everything aside and pick up a great book. I know not everyone has the luxury of taking a hundred-page time out, but it seems to work for me. Currently I’m reading “What She Knew”. It’s a page-turner that has the power to make me count my blessings.
Hi Kristie – Call me dumb, but what is the “M” word you speak of? I have some guesses, but I don’t want to be presumptuous.
M = Mabuhay? Means hello in tagalog.
Ha! I wish. Menopause, Sam, the gift that keeps on giving. : /
Got it! I didn’t want to assume. Does it affect your happiness? I’ll have to read up on it!
menopause sam.
#wife is 51
I’m hoping that I’ll have the food budget at 35-45 to be able to eat four grass-fed steaks everyday for dinner (like Dr Shawn Baker) so that I can kill two birds: fight inflammation(and aging) while keeping all of my cooking and eating each day down to just an hour instead of the usual 3-4h. Saving time and avoiding joint pain seems worth an extra $100 a month to go fully carnivorous, and might bump that meh 7/10 score to an 8.
Totally agree with health and relationships. The best is to continue engaging ourselves in active activities for our physical and mental upkeep. Some of the stuff they say on TV is true I believe that when you look good you feel good. And with relationships if you unfortunately are physically unhealthy then having people who care for you and love you definitely helps to offset some of that unhappiness.
Hey, Sam. I’ve always been fortunate when it comes to happiness. My default happiness setting is 8. Very few times has my happiness dipped below that. And when it did, it was usually because I wasn’t learning or creating something. It never dipped below 8 because of money, or better, yet, the lack of money. I’m 56 now, and can’t complain about the things that really matter–comfortable shoes, great whoopie, and a warm place to go to the bathroom. If I had to peg my happiness now, I would say 9.5. Life is good.
As a freshly minted 40 year old in a demanding dual-career dual-carer household with three little kids, and our ageing parents who live in different countries, these statistics reveal that I should be a lot unhappier than I am. So, it was worth reading the article and the comments.
I try to practice gratitude everyday. What matters most is a cosy little family we have put together here, and the rest of the set-up (good intellectually inspiring careers, living close to the ocean in southern california) isn’t bad either. I miss my family (parents and sister) who live abroad and that’s the only thing that makes me sad. But I am close to them, we love each other, and none of us have any financial constraints that prevent us from seeing each other when we want. How many people have that?
As long as our loved ones and healthy, we should be happy. I cannot say I am a solid 10 because I do fear losing that state (everyone I love being healthy and safe). The rest is fine.
If your parents are healthy now, please don’t go borrowing trouble. Worry about your parents if you must but please don’t let them know. As my 89 year mother told me when I was worrying about her unnecessarily, I’ll tell you when you need to worry and until that time what you are doing is insulting. Since then she tells me if something is wrong, or she tells my brother and he tells me. She doesn’t feel as if we are waiting for the dreaded call and we, in turn, don’t wait for the dreaded call. We’re all good.
True. But accidents can happen. Anything can happen. And we can lose our loved ones or our health in the split of a second. A truly happy person who has reached the state of peace will not have his/her happiness depend on that. But that possibility rattles me.
Which is why, even financial independence is an ephemeral state, and we should have a realistic expectation about the possibility of losing that too.
I think what it takes to have an 8-10 happiness level in your younger years changes as you age. Also what makes you happy changes at different points in your life. So I would say having a career you love, good friends and finding love are happiness generators early on, but as one ages an entirely different set of factors may affect happiness. I am 61, and at this point, feeling good each day, not getting an awful diagnosis, and just watching the life trajectory of my children gives me the most happiness. If my children are doing well and are happy, and I have no major health issues, I am a 10!
I believe in this case you are misreading the data. People do not become happier as they age it’s just happy people live much longer. Harvard has been doing a long term happiness study for decades now which is worth reading.
I feel as if I need to comment here. Both my husband and I are 66 years old. We bike, hike, play tennis more than once a week at the 4.0 level- not your level but not bad. We take care of our 1/2 acre lot ourselves and do many, many other outdoor activities. Next September my brother and I, with our families, are taking our mother hiking in the Rocky Mountain National Park for her 90th birthday. Unless your parents have been couch potatoes for the last several years, they will probably be able to string a sentence or two together while walking up steps for a nice long while! Whew!! Glad I got that off my chest.