Do you know what's really annoying? When rich people call you cheap. Rich people have all the money in the world! Of course they don't work about the little things.
I ran into one of my golfing buddies the other day while waiting for a colleague. Greg the golfer is an every day fella who so happens to be worth north of $20 million dollars.
I don't know exactly how much he makes a year, but it's likely at least $3 million during normal economic times. He's a powerful man who deserves everything he earns, but sometimes he's just vexing.
We got to catching up about the latest gossip on tour when he asked me if I wanted to grab a coffee at Starbucks. I told him I was good, largely because coffee hurts my stomach. Not to mention I'm supposed to be waiting for my colleague at this exact spot and time to attend a meeting.
Greg responds, “Of course not, you are so cheap!” in a snide, but joking sort of way. Unfortunately, every joke has a meaning, and being called cheap is one of the most annoying things to ever hear.
When Rich People Call You Cheap
When we go golfing, Greg likes to spend $20 for a sleeve of Titleist Pro V balls, whereas I go for the $8 sleeve of Pinnacles. Sure, the Pinnacles are harder, and provide less spin control, but I'm no pro, but neither is Greg!
The absurd thing is, I'm a 10 handicapper who regularly shoots in the low-to-mid 80s, while he's a 20 handicapper who often times breaks 100. Some would even call him a hacker!
When we talk about vacations, he mentions the private jet he takes to Bora Bora, and I think, how nice. He then goes on to discuss the wonderful stay at the Four Seasons with his own outdoor hot tub and infinity pool overlooking the ocean.
Thanks for making me so envious Greg! My staycation this summer can't compare, I know. But, we still have fun all the same.
What really irks me is that Greg jokes about my spending habits when he's worth so much more. A $5 overpriced latte to me is literally like 50 cents to him. And you know what? I still wouldn't spend 50 cents on a cup of latte because it turns my stomach into a squeezed towel!
I've grown up just drinking water because my parents never ordered any drinks when we went out. They taught me that beverages have the highest markups and to not be silly with money. Besides, all the sugar and junk they put in these concoctions is so bad for our health.
Different People, Different Desires
I don't understand the folks who stand in line at Starbucks every morning AND afternoon forever waiting for a stupid cup of coffee. When I see a 20 person line, I keep walking because time is precious.
I don't get the people over 30 who still go out at night and spend $15 for a vodka tonic, when you can buy a whole bottle for $20 bucks, and make 25 of them on your own. The time for clubbing was in your 20s!
I place very little value on beverages which aren't good for me. Is this so bad? Apparently to very wealthy folks who have no concept of money or time think so. If you ask me to pay a premium for athletic shoes, electronics, and fruit I'm very happy to do so.
Good shoes prevent injuries and provide extra performance during grueling competition. I prefer an Apple over a PC because of the interface, aesthetics, and customer service. Meanwhile, if I find a delicious white puree mango, I'll literally spend a hundreds of dollars and buy them all!
Everybody spends money in different ways largely because preferences differ. ou can call people cheap, but that's just ignorant because you are assuming someone else values something just as much as you do. Instead, be cognizant of what matters to other people and respect their financial decisions.
The next time Greg calls me cheap, I think I'll just test his pride and bet him $100 a hole straight up, no strokes. Might as well take advantage of the rich, right!
Related: How Much Do The Rich Invest Their Wealth
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Updated for 2021 and beyond. When Rich People Call Me Cheap I try harder!
I came across your site a few weeks ago and have been devouring all your articles. I am self-employed supporting a family of 4 with my music and writing and have really been changing my mindset in order to improve my business. When the bottom fell out in 2009 I struggled with negative beliefs. One thing I changed as I completely stopped all spending that was not for food/shelter was buying cheap junk. The idea was to spend on quality. I really have changed my beliefs now and I mostly don’t need to blow a dollar on something unnecessary. Yet I’ve made some great tech and gear purchases that are high quality and should last many years, if not decades in the case of the music gear. I love fashion but I pride myself on never spending retail prices. I bought Italian designer pumps the other day worth well over $100 (still not expensive by fashionista standards) for $10 at the flea market (and I’m not a hoarder, that was my only clothing purchase for 2 months). I have found that rewarding myself sensibly keeps my spirits up — austerity is demoralizing and depressing. My children have learned, too, not to ask for junk toys, and to think in terms of saving for things they want or working for them, or finding them much cheaper at the flea market or borrowing things from the library or doing free amazing things like family bike rides, hikes, camping and the like. If I can make a request it would be for more motivational articles for maintaining cash flow in a small business. To be honest, I have two, my music business and my editorial business. Perhaps many of your readers would be shocked at how nicely we live on such low income. I even feel a little bad when I read some of your readers’ stories of being trapped in a hamster wheel of wealth-pursuit. To me the goal is simply a better cushion to ward off future troubles. Thanks for your site!
Welcome to my site! Always good to have new readers.
It’s greater the economy is improving and we’ve learned through the crisis what makes us tick.
Sorry to bump this late, but had a quick ‘Blink’ to share.
My thought is Greg was embarrassed when you declined. He was enjoying your company, you had just spent a few hours together on the course, and he extended himself by inviting you to spend another 20 minutes at Starbucks. He wasn’t literally requiring you to have coffee (there is bottled water, juice, tea, or other alternatives available. He was inviting you to share a few more minutes, and when you declined he did not get what he wanted and was embarrassed. So, he embarrassed you in return.
Not sure if you told him you were meeting another person right then and there (that would have presented its own awkwardness, either dismissing Greg or inviting him to be part of something your colleague wasn’t expecting). But if you declined Starbucks without telling him you had another obligation, he may have taken it as a dismissal and that you were tired of hanging out with him for the day. It doesn’t make sense that he would really think you were declining his invitation out of cheapness, he just wanted to needle you especially if he felt disrespected or his invitation had little value to you. Just my two cents.
A good thought! We are better friends now than ever. All is good. We rag on each other all the time.
That is great to hear, a friend is so hard to make and even harder to keep! Glad to hear all is good. It is actually a nice compliment Greg was paying to you, to want to hang out with you more. Glad to hear a friendship was not squandered over an awkward moment.
I think it’s probably better to have close friends in your own league. If they are much richer, they’ll want to spend more money than you can comfortably afford and you’ll cramp their style. Opposite if they’re a lot poorer, they’ll want to spend less than you want to. That doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly with them just not close friends.
I’d say that if Greg is an otherwise nice guy, his comment was probably just unthinking or maybe clueless.
I have had one friend I thought was cheap – she made it difficult to hang out with her, because she wouldn’t want to even get a slice of pizza or go and see a movie. (This was high school, so we really didn’t have much money.)
I still appreciate her though, and she’s the first person I turn to when I need tips on how to travel Europe without breaking the bank. And she spends money on the stuff she cares about (living in NYC and going to broadway shows), so her saving has a purpose.
My point is, Greg might have meant “cheap” as negatively as you think he did.
Also, you should totally bet on golf games with him. Yes.
@Split Cents
Maybe he is trying to get the miles. I knew a Project Manager in SF who use to travel from SFO -> JFK -> DFW on Company Money. He was working in SF and had his home in Dallas
Everyone has different values in life. Although money is important it does not make up who a person is. Take Warren Buffett’s lifestyle for example. Look at the house he lives in and the car he drives. And see what he eats everyday. There are some who feels the need to exhibit their wealth while some of the truly wealthy are more discreet with what they have.
I am almost sorry you have to hang out with a “friend” like Greg. He obviously is quit a shallow person, and I am sorry if this may come across as being offensive. I didn’t mean to be judgmental.
I am on the same page as you bro. In some places, being frugal goes against the norm. So many people in our country are caught up in consumerism. (Hey thats what runs 70% of our economy, yay!) They feel that they ‘need’ this or ‘need’ that, when in reality, they don’t. Minimizing monthly expenses is so important when trying to build wealth especially at a young age.
Water is the best beverage for our bodies, and its FREE! (Well, thats becoming less and less true) The problem with coffee and alcohol is that they are both addicting, hence the reason why the continue to sell so well.
As for the shoes, there is some pretty compelling evidence to suggest that shoes are actually bad for our feet, ankles, knees, back, etc. Of course going around shoe-less isnt much of an option in our society. One could throw away all shoes (except for office shoes) and purchase “Vibram five fingers”, which would save you money and help your feet, ankles, knees, and back.
It’s the water/diamond paradox! The most important resource, water, is free, while the least important resource, diamonds, are expensive!
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts Gabe.
– Cheap is when someone visits & you put them up for several days as a guest and take them around to see all the local (and not so local sites), and the “guest” doesn’t so much as pay for one tank of gas let alone any meals. This guest is just a user and will not be welcomed back very quickly.
– Frugal is a guest who managed his money before arriving and while not flushed with big bucks is able to contribute at least a little bit towards the expenses. This guest is thoughtful and considerate and very welcome.
– Cheap is not picking up your full share of a tab (leaving before the bill arrives & dropping a bill which is definitely short but is meant to “contribute” to the total bill).
– Frugal would be suggesting that everyone gets a separate check, and then orders according to budget.
– cheap is going strictly by price
– frugal is going for value and so much the better if its on sale
– cheap is never buying anything if its not on sale
– frugal is cutting corners to be able to afford something that your heart desires, even if it never comes on sale.
…. and a whole lot more of similar situations.
My father disliked cheap people, tighwads he called them … his observation and definition of cheap was far from your friend Greg’s (whether in jest or otherwise) but he often ended picking up the tab for some of his wealthier “friends” (he was the very same man who taught me to get the best that I could afford and then stretch a little, but of course there were no credit cards in Japan then, just “on the cuff” without interest with suppliers who knew and trusted you , and you always paid your bill(s) – wow! did I run into trouble when I came here with all this credit being so readily available!!! :-( . After a rude awakening I tried to not to be cheap, just frugal … but its really great when you can reach a point of not being either
Some great examples of differentiating between the two Valentina! Thanks for that. I see you’ve signed up for Yakezie.com. I’m sure readers would love to hear your story how what makes you tick, and your goals of making a sustainable online income!
Will be honored to … right now still in Summer Sabbatical :-)
Aaah, the ole’ “I’m better than you and I have more money, and I like to talk about all my wealth because it makes me feel powerful and above the rest, and guess what? what’s even better is that I like to HEAR myself talk if someone will listen to ME!” .. trick (to quote a type of line from the old Get Smart TV series.
I’ve never been called “Cheap” in a way that was anything but me being … cheap.
The people who have that kind of money and act in that kind of way are probably those who fell into it by timing. They haven’t realized that some of us do work for a living, to make our future, and (with luck) try to become one of those who have “the money” to do all the things we’d like to do. The private jet? Hmmm. Might just be one of the perks for having such wealth. But, what I’m hearing is that this guy hasn’t had to eat dirt, or ever been called cheap or poor in his life. I’ve been (at times in the course of my life) looked down upon, shunned because I couldn’t afford to go out and eat on a Friday with “the group” of people we all hung around with. For some, just having been there would constitute maybe understanding what it’s like to have “been there” before. I do not think “your wealthy friend” has ever been there, or if he has, he has selective memory for a time of his life when he was a dirty rotten, low down … or anything else in his world that he’s ashamed to associate himself with. Such a shame too.
Money may make ones pocket bulge, but when it comes down to it, the “character inside” is the real person and what we all base our decisions on as to whether to associate with them of not. Some might even call then being judgemental. But then, some go out of their way to prove exactly who they really are as well.
If your friend wants to buy the expensive stuff, it obviously doesn’t help his golf game either. He’s all about the show … and who’s watching! ;) And he can (from what you say) afford the show as well….. I’d recommend taking his money in a showdown in the links. But remember, he can afford the lessons too, not that they’d help him, but even DH’s get lucky sometime.
I (also) know a guy who owns around 15 Smoothie Kings here in our fair city. Uber-rich indeed, but he’s a great guy. He may talk about some of his expenditures, but he’s not condescending about it, only that he “lost” money in Las Vegas, or his wife spent way too much on (fill in the blanks). etc, etc. Otherwise, he more like the average guy who wears quality, but doesn’t go overboard on the quantity. His story .. He’s been there. He knows. And I’m looking for a way to emulate his success (fact). He’s worked hard for it. I’m no where near his net worth.
Lets see … the difference between Frugal and Cheap? Now there’s a question near and dear to me. :)
If pretty frugal .. in many ways. But even the most astute frugal’er will spend money on something nice or fun once in a while. And if they can do it on the cheap, it means they has what they wanted, only for a fraction of the costs. I love going to high end resale shops and finding name brand polo’s w/deep discounts (about to be off consignments). Am I cheap? Or Frugal? Or is that just poor, poor (me) .. “he can’t even afford a brand new $40 Nautica Polo short form that nifty new mall around the corner (with the pay-for-parking)?
FinSam … as I’m sure you fully understand, :) some of us enjoy “saving the money” instead of blowing it as fast as we can. Our worth isn’t based on what’s on the price tag. If I had $20million (in net worth), I’d probably be working all the time, sleeves rolled up, and a USED CAR sitting out on the parking lot. (aka: from a Thomas Stanley book)
Anyone can be a snob. And a lot of those snobs ARE in debt up to their A$$. When is making $3mil/year NOT really 3 mil/year? It’s the difference between the UAW and the PAW. We all (I’m guessing) are striving to be self sufficient. Where our money works for us, not the other way around. I’d be interested in knowing how your wealthy friend became rich. And were his parents rich too. :)
Oh yes. Cheap and Frugal. I’m cheap, but not easy! :)
The definition would depend on the context, but Cheap “sounds” more like less than “top notch” or “not full price, on sale” .. and Frugal (to me) means you actually took the time to find it, make it work and still have something left over to do with as one likes. Kind of like finding 21 case of Duct take (30/ea.) for $20/brand new … instead of buying 5 rolls for $20. Frugal is definitely a buzzword going round, but I also think it’s parallel with “The Smart Shopper” too. (The Duct tape thought was a guy thing, I’m guessing)
Dean / The Frugalcheapskate. The little things DO add up!
No problem Matt! I really enjoy reading new sites and getting to know folks.
It’s our given right to look to save money for sure!
this comes down to a recent post i read elsewhere regarding how our financial status affects the way we are perceived and therefore treated. those with higher status will always “joke” about the ones with lesser status. as FS stated however, there is always some underlying truth or a reason at least to every joke. the key is definitely learning how to handle it. on the contrary, one may decide not to associate with such individuals – but then there is also something to be said about friendship.
bottom line is that we each know what our financial capacity is and what our spending priorities are. when others make such silly comments, we can justify them and find ways to forgive their ignorance because they are not us, and therefore do not know the situation we are in. i know, easier said than done, but this has helped in my experience.
My response got long enough that I’m posting it at BFS next week. My comment pretty much boiled down to you handled yourself well, and at least you are only being called cheap. I get called cheap by people who like to say “Life is short” and wasteful by people who are even more frugal than myself. I prioritize my spending like you mentioned, but I don’t handle myself as well as you do when I’m judged – I get defensive and a little immature…oops…
Please refer to me by my Latin name, illegitimus frugalis… ;-)
I make a living writing about how to make your money stretch. Some readers foam at the mouth and accuse me of being cheap, stingy, miserly, ungenerous, etc.
I don’t like reading such comments, but try to think of it this way: They don’t know me. If they knew me, they’d know that those adjectives don’t apply.
I am frugal, not cheap. That means that I save money where I can so that I can spend it where I want. This includes giving to charities and nonprofits, and to individuals in need.
Your friend might be feeling a little defensive: “If Sam is happy with less, does that mean all my big-shot stuff isn’t as important as I think it is?”
Or maybe he’s just a bit of a showoff.
As they say, never wrestle with pigs — you get all dirty, and the pigs like it. If he tries to get a rise out of you with comments like “You are so cheap!” perhaps you should call him on it. Politely ask, “What do you mean by that, exactly? And for extra credit, why should YOU care how I spend MY money?”
My uncle used to call me cheap all the time. Nowadays, as my business is doing well, he doesn’t call me cheap anymore even though my spending habits pretty much never changed.
A few days ago, it was my uncle’s 60th birthday, and I treated him for dinner at those fancy restaurants that only he would go to. There were four of us, and of course he had to order a VERY pricey wine.
My uncle frequents that restaurant, and he is known to be an awesome tipper. The tab came out to be several hundred dollars, and though it was WAY too expensive, I thought “okay, it’s my uncle’s 60th birthday dinner so it’s a very special bday. No problem.” I then paid a good tip (or at least so I thought), but the waiter totally ignored me afterward and just talked to my uncle and ignored me.
He made me FEEL cheap, and all for paying 10x the price I usually pay for food.
Maybe I’m not ready to be rich, even if I end up having $20 million dollars in the future!!
Man, that sucks David. Shoulda got another cousin or something to pay for the dinner if he and the waiter were so ungrateful!
Guess it’s just human nature for some to put people down and make them feel inferior.
Still, very generous of you to pay!
I should clarify about my uncle. Other than the occasional disrespectful comments, he is generally very nice to me.
If it wasn’t for him, I would not have moved out here from Canada and I probably would not have met my wife, had a family, started my blog and have the life style that I have right now.
Dinner is the least I could do.
Ah, gotcha. Good to hear. If that’s the case, dinner really is the very least! Maybe he’s expecting a nice shiny, new Mercedes C350 as a real reward?
He just bought a Porsche Panamera 4S (and yes, he can afford it) so it’s safe to say that he doesn’t need a car gift from me :)
OK, car freshner, the pine cone or lemon scent one!
I donno about the Panamera. I’d rather get the Maserati.
I’m happy to go out with people, have a drink, and buy some food. I just always look for the best prices. I’m a comparative shopper. I read the little price sticker at the bottom of food that compares price per ounce. I don’t think thats cheap. I think its smart shopping. Why pay more for something if you don’t have to?
I’m right there with you. When I bought the iPad people at work were ohhing and awwing at it. Then they asked how much it was and told them nonchalantly, “$600.” So then one of my coworkers remarks…”$600! You must be rich!” Umm, no. I just do not go out to eat for lunch every day like the rest of my coworkers. And the few times a month I do go out to eat, I don’t order a drink and get water. But yes, I am more than happy to pay top dollar for my electronics, especially from Apple!
I think the word cheap is used as good humor by close friends – Of course, one needs to understand who is a friend vs. an acquaintance which is a blurry line for many people.
An honest friend will call you cheap with no misintention except maybe to ride you a bit whereas an acquaintance could use this term as more of dig.
We are ALL cheap in some way. As Samurai said he would not spend 50 cents on a latte but would gladly drop a paycheck on white puree mangos. I would call him cheap and nuts here :-)
We should all embrace our cheap moments – thats why everyone is a little quirky now and then.
On the other hand – if you want to calculate your portion of a dinner bill and not just split it up evenly then I can promise you people (friends and acquaintances) will call you cheap and mean it.
I get called cheap by the cheapest of the cheap, the richest of the rich and the poorest of the poor. I love it. But I don’t think I’m “cheap.” I think I’m “frugal.” To me the difference is significant – a difference between not liking to “spend” versus not liking to “waste.” To me:
Cheap people don’t like to “spend” money – at all. They could be offered a $100 bill for $50 and not take the deal. Frugal people don’t like to “waste” money. They would gladly pay $50 for a $100 bill. They look for the best deals under the “why pay more for the same thing.” But they’re going to “spend.” They just want to spend wisely.
So I’m frugal (admittedly very frugal – especially when it comes to spending on myself).
It’s funny how Greg labeled you as cheap. It’s almost like he’s pinning the “cheap” label on you because he himself is cheap! Maybe not when it comes to golf balls or coffee, but perhaps in another area? Or….he could be jealous of something you have, so to make himself feel better, he puts you down.
@Money Smarts Blog
Yeah, I don’t hang around him too often, but he is also a very connected person, and it would be foolish of me not to nurture this relationship.
@ctreit
Sounds like you’ve got some great friends! Lucky!
@BRB
Hmmm….. I donno…. could avoiding water by bringing your own be a tad too extreme?
@Nunzio Bruno
The thing I’m wondering is whether I should just rip Greg a new one and poke him back. He kids and pokes a lot and needs to be challenged. Maybe I’ll make fun of his wussy driving distance which barely breaks 200 yards on a good day. Yup!
@David H.
You’re right, there is always another dollar to make, no matter how rich you are! Those HF guys you talk about, must be a big sport for them though to make big bucks. It’s the wild west! I’m not cutting him out of my life, I just won’t hang out with him that much.
I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even want to order water if I go out because of all the chlorine and fluoride in it, but I’m still pretty sure that they’d frown upon me bringing in my own stainless water bottle of RO water.
I have a few friends who have a high net worth but none of them ever called me cheap. They would not be my friends if they had an attitude like that. Come to think of it, all of my very rich friends are very generous with me. Money does not dominate our relationship.
This is the fun stuff! Behavior is one of my favorite topics when it comes to money and spending. I’m sorry to hear that it makes for a tough time when you guys get together but isn’t it interesting how very different peoples values can be. Better still it sounds like your friend Greg has a tough time understanding that what’s of little importance to him may not be the same for everyone else – ie the spending. The incentives for you to skip the two Starbucks trips a day aren’t even a radar blip to someone who as that kind of disposable income…very interesting stuff!
Hi Sam
I’m not sure about paying $8 for a sleeve of balls. Even thats steep for me. Personally I go for the cleaned, packed into a box of a dozen lake balls for the grand total of £7.99 ($12.50). Usually I go for the Nike option and they really do look brand new.
Cheers
RIT
I can’t stoop that low mate with lake balls! That’s when I notice the difference. I can get as good trajectory on soft landings if I have a used or damaged ball. Guess it’s all relative!
Your friend Greg may have more money, but that doesn’t buy common sense. Clearly, he lacks a lot of that by not being able to relate to others who aren’t wealthy.
I have been called cheap before, by someone with considerably more wealth than me. I have to say, I lost some respect for that person. Actions have consequences, and that person’s comments impacted my perspective on that individual – and not for the better!
Now, if someone with a “normal” level of wealth or someone without much calls me cheap, I will instantly get a postive feeling. Interestingly I haven’t been called that much at all in my life, and if so, It’s been teasing by a few close friends or familiy members. Aside from going along with the jokes, I also get a sense pride, as if I know a secret that they don’t when it comes to the value to growing income while keeping expenses relatively low.
I feel I have lost some respect for Greg as well. It sucks, but other than this incident, he’s been hilariously great. He just touched a nerve, b/c I’m pretty generous with him when we go out, and being called cheap is the last thing I want to hear from a friend who is extremely wealthy.