The smartest people in the world are listeners, not speakers. If all you're doing is speaking, how do you learn anything new?
To get ahead, you need to be smart enough to act dumb. You need to also learn how to convince people you're not very good at what you do to lower expectations. If you can look dumb enough to other people, they won't see you as a threat and hate you or attack you. Once you can operate in peace, you can get much farther in life!
Appearing Too Smart Can Be Intimidating
There was once this portfolio manager I covered who had this uncanny ability to make you feel uncomfortable without saying anything at all. He had a poker face when you spoke to him, and when he felt like changing expressions, he'd go from solemn to smiles in a millisecond.
We nicknamed him Crazy Face. It turns out that he was literally a genius with an IQ over 160. He also consistently beat his index benchmark for eight years in a row and made millions because of it.
The earliest examples of acting dumb to get ahead starts in grade school. You know what I'm talking about. Those kids who were too cool to study and too cool to sit still in class as they flicked spitballs from the back of the room. These kids weren't just acting dumb, they really were dumb.
When you purposefully waste your opportunities growing up, you're not only disrespecting your parents, but also the millions of other kids around the world who will never have the same opportunities.
This post will do the following:
1) Argue why acting dumb is a smart move to get ahead.
2) Provide some tips to help you look and seem a little dumber than you are.
3) Share three personal examples of how acting duhhh, has helped in work, stress management, and relationships.
Be Smart Enough To Act Dumb
There are three main reasons why acting dumb will help you succeed in life.
1) You no longer become a threat.
If you have ever competed in sports, debates, game shows, or worked in super competitive industries such as finance, consulting, or law you know how cutthroat everybody is. Someone is always gunning for you if you are one of the top dogs. Online entrepreneurship is even more competitive because the barrier to entry is low, and ideas get stolen all the time. Be smart enough to realize these realities.
When you are considered dumb, or at least not a threat, people stop looking to undermine your abilities. It's natural for anybody in the work environment to feel threatened by a new hire, a lateral hire, or a superstar colleague.
We all have our insecurities. The more you can pretend not to know as much as you do, and the more you can include other people in your successes, the better you will be.
2) You can more easily surprise on the upside.
Getting ahead is about underpromising and overdelivering. Eager people have a tendency to overpromise and put so much stress on themselves that they underdeliver instead. The key is to contain your pride by highlighting 80% of what you can do, and deliver 81%+. Be smart enough to set expectations low.
I remember improving in ranking with one client from #10 to #6 and getting praised for the move. Then with another similar client I slipped from #3 to #5 and was admonished.
Because I worked for a large firm, we were always expected to be in the top 3 with clients, even though only three firms can be in the top three! But if you work at a lesser tier firm, or even a bucket shop, then just getting ranked in the top 10 was good enough.
3) You'll have a much happier life.
When you're constantly expected to be the best, you're setting yourself up for failure. Everybody eventually has a misstep or loses some steam at some point. The goal is to find that steady state where you can continue to progress while giving yourself room to progress a little more. Be smart enough to be happy with what you have.
A big part about building wealth is longevity. If you burn out 20 years too early, or before your peak performing years, you'll have a serious financial deficit to make up if you don't have a plan.
Like the Stealth Wealth concept, you don't want to stick your head out too far out of fear of it being cut off by the government, your jealous colleagues, or nefarious characters looking to rob you blind.
However, sometimes your Stealth Wealth signaling can be off. When that happens, you'll be bombarded with even more hate and jealousy. Therefore, be smart about scrubbing your status markers if you want to signal you're more middle class than you really are.
What If You Are Are Not Smart Enough to Act Dumb?
Acting dumb is easy for me because I'm pretty dumb in a lot of things e.g. college level math, art, history, languages, making women stop hating me, and so forth. Just read some of the comments some lovely readers leave telling me how dumb I am for proof!
But there used to be a time when I just couldn't help but brag about my achievements. And when you start bragging about your achievements, people start hating your guts. When people start hating your guts, you get into fights in school (check), your business model gets stolen (check) and you get passed over for a promotion or a raise (check).
The higher up you go in any work organization, the more collaborative you must be. It's all politics up there. The “superstar syndrome” is a dangerous syndrome to exhibit because everybody higher up will act in unison to keep you down, even if you're a pretty nice person.
Be smart enough to suppress your achievements. Share your failures instead.
Good Tip In E-mail Communication To Appear More Humble
The one tip I can give is to NEVER use the word “I” when sending an e-mail or giving a talk about some successful business win. Always, always use the word “we” and point out individual's names that helped make the work win a success.
If it was truly only you who made something special happen, then acknowledge the support of your boss and teammates anyway. They'll know they had nothing to do with the win, but will appreciate your shout-outs anyway.
When we are younger, we tend to always think that we know more than we really do. Humble pie takes time to eat because it tastes disgusting. Once you eat it, you'll stop trying to look so smart to everybody. And if you haven't eaten any humble pie yet, then hopefully you'll take my advice to heart.
How To Make Yourself Look Dumber
Be smart enough to recognitions these strategies that will make you look dumber. Looking dumber is a strategic move that will minimize competition and attention on you.
1) Dress to look younger
You've heard the advice to “look sharp” haven't you? Well dressing one or two levels higher than your peers and boss is a surefire way to get your hands chopped off. Never dress more than a half-step more than your position. These steps are subjective, but if you pay careful attention to what people wear in the office, you'll understand.
I currently go to work in jeans, a t-shirt, a baseball cap, and a long-sleeve fleece jacket most of the time. In other words, I look like a student even though I'm 37 years old (back in 2014).
Being treated like a younger employee than reality is just fine by me because many of my colleagues are under 30 years old as well. Everybody dresses casually, so I fit right in. It's also about aligning compensation and expectations so you aren't miserable.
Dress Down To Look Poorer Works Too
Make it hard for people to see your expertise. Based on the way I look, people have no idea I built an online business from the ground up with consistent margin expansion and operating profits that would make any entrepreneur proud.
What they see is a friendly face who is happy to help, do his contracting job, and provide some occasional insights when asked upon. A larger role for me isn't really in the cards largely because of the image I portray.
Looking younger doesn't necessarily mean you will appear dumber. But there's sometimes no amount of intelligence that can make up for a lack of experience. So if you can mold yourself as looking less experienced, then you will naturally seem less worthy of bigger roles.
2) Alter your speech with likes, umms, slang, and an accent
Your speech is often a dead giveaway for your level of intelligence. However, there are tricks to alter your speech to make yourself seem dumber.
It almost doesn't matter what you say in a British accent, you will still sound pretty sophisticated. It almost doesn't matter what you say in a valley girl or a surfer dude accent, you will sound a little less sophisticated. The way you speak has a tremendous impact on how others perceive your intelligence.
The main ways to alter your speech to make you look dumber is by adding the words “like” and “umm” in your sentences. If you want to take it a step further, include rhetorical questions such as, “You know what I'm saying?” multiple times. The listener will start getting agitated and think to themselves, “No I don't know what you're saying you idiot!”
Clearly you must remove SAT type words from your vernacular as well. Unless you are Fraser Crain, nobody speaks with words like “pernicious,” “erudite,” “colloquial,” “nadir,” “vapid,” “boorish” and so forth. Practice speaking like a middle school student and you will do just fine, yo.
Downgrading the way you speak is one of the main tactics rich people have in appearing more middle class. The last thing you want to do is sound highly educated!
3) Slow down your response times
Don't be quick witted and answer questions in lightening pace. Pretend like you are still calculating answers like a 286 computer instead of the latest microprocessor that you are.
I've found myself very agitated when a friend of mine takes a long time to answer a question or recall a song name or whatever. He is clearly very smart, but because his response time is slower than mine, I automatically think he's dumber than me even though I'm wrong.
The key is to not be so slow as to annoy the other person. During your time of rumination, you should utter phrases like “hmmm,” and “let me think” to keep the other side engaged. You can start answering the question in a round about way, until you finally zero in on the point. Better yet, let them answer their own questions to make them feel smart.
4) Smile a lot
You've heard the saying, “I'm going to wipe that dumb grin off his face!” right? People associate smiley people on the dumber end of the spectrum. Furthermore, smiling a lot will make you look less menacing.
People will naturally smile back at you and wonder why the heck are you smiling all the time because work generally sucks! You never see an evil genius smile. They are either smirking or plotting with a furrowed brow.
The pandemic has made it more difficult for more people to see smiles in public. Not having people see me smile has made me realize how much I'm always naturally smiling.
5) Look a little frumpy and out of shape.
Even if you are clearly an intelligent person, showing some physical weakness will help people think a little less of you. The worst is to be physically fit, attractive, eloquent in speech, intelligent in answer, and extremely hard working. You are going to be gunned down before you know it because you are a threatening machine.
Buy some shirts and pants that are one size too big. Don't cut your hair for a long time. Wear some mismatching outfits. Be smart enough not to look so sharp.
6) Just pretend you don't know
If you know a lot of stuff then a lot of people will come to you for questions. You'll be so inundated with questions that you won't be able to get your own work done. People tend to take advantage of your time once you show a little bit of kindness.
For example, I'm constantly answering e-mails from people who have personal finance questions. I would say 90% of the time I respond with a thoughtful answer. And when I do, they will ask for another answer and want me to get into more detail. So instead, I sometimes pretend I don't have an opinion or I don't know when an absolute stranger who has never commented here before asks me questions.
The more other people know how much you know, the higher the expectations they have of you. And if for some reason you don't have time, or you're past your allotted work hours and don't want to help, they might develop a sour opinion of you if you don't spend your remaining free time helping them out en gratis. Be smart enough not to be a smart ass.
Related: How To Make Others Believe You Are Middle Class When You're Actually Rich
Examples Of Where Acting Dumb Helps
1) Play Dumb At Work
As a blogger since 2009, of course I know about SEO, social media, marketing, earning online income, and writing content. Every company's marketing department should hire veteran bloggers because content marketing is huge in the internet world. No longer do people want to just view ads. Consumers want to digest content that provides value before signing up for anything. Strong content helps build a brand and create goodwill.
Bloggers have the ability to build a community, embolden a brand, growth hack with no budget, write engaging content, and understand analytics.
For my consulting gig, I went above and beyond for my first three month contract, working 40+ hours a week instead of 25 hours a week in my contract because I have a tendency to try and always over-deliver. But I realized after three months that the more I do, the more I'm asked to do until the work hours could easily extend to 60 hours a week.
It's really hard to stop for all parties, once we get going because there's an endless amount of things to do in startup land. Those who've followed me for a while know that I have workaholic tendencies that can easily manifest itself with some prodding. Heck, this post is over 3,000 words long. Who does that, but workaholics!
2) Slow At Consulting
I had a role as a consultant to manage a team of writers and write content. I'd help where I could on other things of course. But if I did, I would have easily blown past my contracting hours if I'm tasked to do SEO, manage the social media platform on a daily basis, and provide copy writing for advertisements and landing pages.
Therefore, I was smart enough to act dumb about various topics. I didn't want the employer to take advantage of me too much.
I was optimizing for a better lifestyle where I can get paid for good work performed, interact with smart and fun people, and also have a good amount of freedom. I don't mind consistently giving 120% effort in what I do (20% more time than agreed upon).
But giving much more than 120% over an extended period of time feels off since I've got plenty of other things I enjoy doing. Many workers discovered they were being overworked during the pandemic, and created the quiet quitting movement to do just enough not to get fired. I'm currently in a happier place now because things are more balanced. If I do decide I want to work full-time again, it's easier to surprise on the upside by demonstrating my entire repertoire of knowledge and skills.
3) Aloof In Investing
If you want to grab someone's attention just tell them you work or worked in finance and they will pick your brain non-stop for investment ideas. They'll ask you about the next hot IPO or your views on the Federal Reserve's latest interest rate policies and how it will affect cyclical stocks.
They'll ask you to analyze their current investments and see if you have recommendation for where they can rebalance. When it comes to getting advice on making more money, people can't get enough.
Of course I'm going to do my best to help my friends and family when they're in need, like I spent several hours helping my sister come up with a financial plan last year. But I hardly ever tell anybody that I used to work in finance. I just tell them I'm a writer instead.
The benefit is I won't get asked for investment advice and I won't have looks of disapproval about working in finance. Money has a terrible way of getting in between relationships, and that's the last thing I want money to do.
When folks start highlighting their great investment wins, I simply listen in, congratulate and smile. And if people find out my background and want to really get down and dirty with their finances. Be smart enough to not let anybody know about your investing experience.
There is a great joy at being a nobody. If you are a nobody, people leave you alone!
4) Clueless About Relationships
Great relationships are hard to come by. They take work and a whole lot of listening. I really enjoy making friends with people from all over. But my biggest problem is still coming across as overconfident and a know-it-all type with younger people I meet.
I have this automatic desire to teach and mentor younger folks because I've seen their movie before and I don't want them to fall into the same holes I fell into.
I also come from a culture where respecting your elders is of great importance, so I just assume that whatever I say to a younger person will be heard.
Unfortunately, my desire to help can come across as arrogant, particularly in America. Many people don't want mentors or teachers, they just want to be equal friends. Who wants advice about things when they haven't asked? Nobody.
Stay Humble And Share Less
By pretending to be in the dark about many things a new or younger person discusses with me that I know about, I'm able to reduce my arrogance and create a more equal relationship.
As the relationship progresses, I can adjust accordingly. And if there's a massive trap a friend is about to walk into, I'll definitely step up and provide some guidance.
I don't have this arrogance problem at all when I'm hanging out with older people due to my customs. I think I've been able to develop healthier relationships with more people over the past five years. Be smart enough to stay humble.
Related: The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence
The Final Strategy For Getting Ahead
Instead of pretending to be unknowledgeable or dumb, go the other way. Demonstrate that you have so much vigor in your craft that people are intimidated by your presence. You are knowledge, charismatic, and know what you are talking about!
Because you are a rockstar who is clearly crushing it, other people don't want to waste your time with dumb questions they can look up online, so they never ask. Because you are vital to your organization, management knows they can't screw you.
You want to be a nice and collaborative person no matter your real intelligence. But if you've found a happy balance in your life and have a reasonable amount of intelligence, then acting dumb might very well be a great way to keep your happiness going for an extended period of time.
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Thoroughly enjoyed this.
Sam, I’ve been following you for over 2 years. Articles like this excite me because they make me feel like I’m a mastermind secretly plotting to take over the world in a few years. Best wishes!
What do you do if your managers are super smart and know that you are acting dumb. I had a manage who would push you to work hard by micro-managing. He would force you to speak up by just telling you to explain your understanding to the team. If you did a good job, he’d know what you are capable of. If you did a bad job, he’d mock you in a friendly way in front of everyone. The company was a startup. Which means there was few people and plenty of work. I ended up working for 10/12 hours a day. Become depressed in a few months. I’m wondering what could I have done differently other than leaving.
Great article, though I have a sneaking suspicion that parts of it were intended as satire.
As I’ve ticked past 40, my years have gradually taught me a somewhat similar route to good working relationships and professional satisfaction. For me, though, the emphasis is just a little different:
Repeat after me:
I will stop comparing myself with other people.
I will stop comparing myself with other people.
I will stop comparing myself with other people.
Whoever you are, the day you fully accept yourself as your sole measuring stick is the day you’ll start growing happier with yourself and whatever rewards your career might bring. That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with ambition or competitiveness! But you are unique and wonderful, and in the long run, the value of whatever you contribute is best assessed on your own terms.
You also probably won’t feel a need to “act dumb” or otherwise pretend to be someone other than who you are. It might even seem easier to blow off toxic people and deal with the inevitable obstacles, large and small, we encounter in work and life.
Whoever wrote this article is a true genius. At work (a software comp.) I and few of my buddies can sometimes act dumb by hidding our extra knowledge (i.e. We actually know several more comp. programming) but we said we have no idea about them, we just know about that ‘A’ programming (we hide B and C). It’s not that we avoid extra work/duties/tasks that can suck our soul out of our bodies. It’s all about the pay that doesn’t worth it. It’s a normal for us to work for 42+ hours a week which is insane considering that software development takes almost 100% of our concentration.
Guilty as charged! I sentence myself to moronic thought patterns. I did okay with bullion and real estate, and live in a blue color mountain town, although I started out as blue color carpenter. That old adage where the lobster shack has a barrel of lobsters, and one reaches the edge with that big claw, and another only grabs that lobster and pulls him back down.
This pandemic is tweaking the brains of those “sociopaths in suits.” They typically only do corporate or personal sabotauge,[sic] but I think violence may “even” start to (exnay transpire) happen.
I’m thinking the covid might actually be an antivirus.
Wow can I just say when I read *humble pie* I automatically thought, that sounds familiar like a moon pie or something? Kinda disgusting too…and then I had to let it sit. I realized you were speaking figuratively–I mean using it as an example…I felt dumb
Some of the people who commented here don not have to pretend they are stoopid. It comescnwturally to them.
Ha. Exactly. Where would I be without this. The “sheeple” are know it alls. This is like reading my.mind.
So this thoroughly degrading self hating stupid guy blames hisself for his business model getting stolen – rather than blame the sociopathic tosspot/s that actually stole his business model ideeyuh in the first instance. Hmm, thats takes heroic levels of stoopit and self-repugnance¡!
Don’t do this.
You validate the retardation of our world
donald trump is not only a billionaire but the president of the US. Idiocracy in action
Drink Brawndo, the Thirst Mutilator.
The only reason to do this is because dumb people have wealth you don’t have.
True. This all came to me naturally, perhaps I am dumb but I am still conscientious. Though coworkers still try to make me miserable
This article is interesting. I do not agree with the theory of acting dumb to get ahead but it is interesting to hear such perspective. I never act in a particular manner that projects a different person than what I am really like. I dress sharp every day because I value my appearance and the fact that I work in a multi-billion dollar office also is an incentive. Maybe there are those that feel threaten by me and frankly, I do not care. I am not there to make friends but to do my job and do it to the best of my ability. I believe if you do your job and do it well, no one can make you look bad or jeopardize your work. In the past, there has been those who have attempted this and ended up getting fired. This also sends a message to the rest, don’t mess with me! I have been in a manager role for most of my career and appearance is very important when promoting someone. Besides all of the great qualities, you may have if you don’t fit the part you won’t get the promotion. What do I mean by this? If you are being considered for a manager position they are going to look at a couple of things. One is ability and skills. Two they are going to picture you as the manager and try to imagine how you would fit in that role, visual perspective will be important. If someone who has the same capabilities as you but comes to work every day already looking like a manager, guess who is going to get the promotion?
donald trump values his appearance.
think about it. If you have brains, the meaning will become apparent. What really matters, intrinsic qualities or perception? You are still pandering to the dumblocs.
He dresses like a clown. It isn’t that he is not in suits, and probably very expensive ones. It is that he has no idea how to hire a tailor to make them look right on his weird centaur frame…
He does however if he is as rich as he likes to claim have the money to fly to the best tailor in the world and have it made right.
He looks like crap and acts worse. He violates most of the things he says at some later point and lies readily to cover almost anything even when he doesn’t need to.
I would rather be poor and intelligent than have to act like that lying, hypocritical, and strangely shaped ass hat. Seriously I am happy eating beans and ramen as long as I don’t even have that hair.
The point here, is incorporating this in a sensible manner.. which it seems you have none since youre so smart. It is used as a tool. Not a way to do anything. A tool to plug a sprocket.
Ha.
This is why I survived warfare. I’m the wolf.
Sun Tzu said this and he is only the author of The Art of War, one of the most widely read leaderships books of all time.
To quote:
Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.
If your enemy is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him. If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united, separate them. If sovereign and subject are in accord, put division between them. Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.
The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.
Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.
I just found this article, and it’s funny because it’s true. I have my dumb routine down at work so I don’t have to do too much, AND I’ll probably land a promotion soon because what I do no one else can do (even though it’s stupid easy). I could probably do my work about 5 times faster, but then I’d have to actually work on the two days a week I get to work from home. Being smart in a dumb world is awesome. You barely have to work if you play your cards right.
Sound genius!
I am a half Greek half Russian POP singer songwriter and music producer born in Russia and based in Greece.
Achieved some interesting things but still not there. Marketing n Communication Degree of the National Economic University but not at all corporate working experience.
Mainly income is from my Recording n Rehearsing Studio working on several projects as a producer etc..
I look to dump people succeed and me not so much! thats how I Googled this topic. Mostly talking about singers career.
I think I ve already have given the impression that I m smart in my interviews and kinda desperate because to tell you the truth I m sure that most of my competitives are dumb for real.
Do you thing your theory works in music / celebrity / showbiz industry ?
What should I do?
Wonderful article! I now realize I have been doing many of these techniques throughout my life. I was always smart (near genius tested IQ) but inherently lazy. So, I used to pick out the most relevant tasks and slack on the rest.
For example, I finished an engineering degree and managed to stay within the 80% curve by spending time studying just 1/3 of what others did. (I have quite a creative bend of mind, so I choose which topics to study and they come on the question paper 99% of the time).
Result? Great friends, amazing memories of college and graduated top 15 of my class.
I got recruited by a huge firm while I was still finishing my last year. Funny part, none of my classmates made the cut. I was 7th in the list of people selected – out of nearly 50k who attended across the country.
So, trust me..being dumb pays. You can have a great social life, amazing job and STILL have friends. Oh and the dressing part was spot on. I instinctively dress that way, and many still mistake me for young and dumb. And yep, my interactions with people are solely based on their level of intellect. No one’s wiser:)
However, I disagree about ‘not talking much’. I go off a mile a minute. But until one really intelligent guy commented to me, I did not realize that the one listening to me doesn’t get even a single clue about who or what I am. I talk and ask questions about them! Whoa.
I’ll say again! Great article.
(I am a woman by the way. And was QUITE successful at work. Became the elite few of the company in just 5 years. Now I work independently. I realized I don’t have that great a tolerance for being surrounded by cut throat competition…plus they do catch on …eventually! :-D )
oh, but bill gates is billions of times smarter than you. Look at his assets.
I find it comical when people look at a $100,000 a year or a few $million as “success”
If you don’t make what your peers make, you fail. gates IQ is in the 150 range. If your IQ is in that range, you’d better be on the top of the billionaire list if you are thinking of yourself as successful….that or we shouldn’t have a wealth distribution like exists where there are 1,800 billionaires and 14,000,000 geniuses living on Earth.
They kinda always knew because they come to you with the intelligence not to feel entitled but walk one year in this mans shoes you couldn’t do it. to learn a formula like that takes mental stress and a firm grip on the roots of your sanity.
One thing I learned the hard way is I spoken in a world where no one speaks. i’m done coming to you with my ideas especially when you use the roll of family.
Take credit for my work because to even learn something like this you got to live it. Remember experince beats any book.
All it takes is to come to me for once i’m done coming to you and if i do the price might be to much to pay. distorted speech at times is easy when needed like a light switch and can hit you with 5 + years of memory like a light switch with lighting speed english clear as day.
It’s kind of sad seeing so many smart people in comment section claim they have to “dumb-down” to fit in socially. College was the happiest time of my life because I finally could choose my own social circles out of thousands of the students and no longer need to “dumb-down”. All I want from my daily social interaction is that I do not ever need to dumb-down, I figured the best way to achieve this is probably getting into companies with the highest hiring bar possible.
frognigiri,
I hear your frustrations. I believe the first steps of adaptation is listening to those frustrations and adapting. There is a Chinese proverb in regards to “Still waters run deep”, which resonates with Sam’s post.
(Sam, feel free to correct me if I am wrong here) I am assuming that some of these skill sets would be especially useful in a competitive financial work environment, and even more so currently as Sam enjoys financial independence.
If it worked for him, it may work for you in a different way as you find your path. Good luck!
The dumb should adapt to the smart. Its dumb to think being dumb is better.
Sam, I love your articles but I’m not sure I should take your advice on this one. I’m an 23 years old asian female engineer currently making 120k a year. I grew up in a culture where being humble is considered a good trait.
Once I came to US for college, I was constantly surrounded by know-it-all type of white male engineers, and tech workers are famous for their imposer syndrome. In both college and workplaces, I find my peer engineers just love bloating about the tech stuff they know and things they’ve built to everyone around them. Revealing you don’t know something would sometimes result people not taking you seriously (many of them started programming when they were 13 and spent most of their teenage years messing with computer), if they haven’t already not taken you seriously because you are a “girl”. They discuss random shit like pros and cons of each programming language with each other, I know what they are talking about but I have no interest joining these kind of debates. But it seems like they construct some mysterious workplace brogrammer/bromance relationship this way.
I had someone told me I look too young, like a teenager, I need to dress more “mature” to succeed in workplace. Also in tech industry, you need to be a mentor and have help others to be promoted to some level.
What you said and what I’ve experienced are probably industry difference. Or maybe it’s a completely two different social games between men and women. I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ve never worked closely with any female in my school projects or workplaces. I personally know zero successful female engineer. However, thank god those nerds don’t talk about sports all the time!! Occasionally some smart ones would talk about good game, science fiction or good shows and we can have some intelligent conversation. I’d probably hate it more if I go to another industry.
So I’m curious, what would be your advice to a young female like me? You grew up here, any insights about know-it-all types of white males and how to deal with them? How to get promoted faster than them other than job hopping? I know there are more successful females in finance. Care to share how do they act and get ahead?
(People say I’m cute/pretty, if it’s relevant.)
The less you know, the higher you go, honey!
I know you posted this ages ago, but I’m a 20something female software engineer and can relate to every single thing you’ve said. For four years of college I experienced being one of only a handful of women in computer science. The rest were white male engineer know-it-all’s who indeed enjoyed bonding over pointless debates about technical things, which really came across more as posturing than intelligent conversation and is something I will never have any interest in being a part of.
I also feel like I’ve noticed that men in the industry can afford to be humble and still have their accomplishments recognized, but when women are humble they’re either overlooked, undervalued or viewed as lacking confidence.
I was lucky to find a job out of college working for a company that had diversity as a core value. Four of my seven person developer team were women and two of us were minorities. This was a huge improvement in my experience compared to college, though some of the same problems existed across the engineering department as a whole.
Anyway, I’m curious to know if you’ve learned any valuable lessons in the years since you first posted. Cheers.
I understand what you are saying about Stealth Wealth, but it makes me a bit sad. I studied art history in school and the great portraits that I loved, by Velazquez or Gainsborough, or Sargent, or great examples of architecture – Versailles, country estates in England or Rhode Island or Boston, would never have been created if patrons had shied away from showing their wealth. I also love the history of fashion and long for the time when people took pride in looking very sharp and well turned out – up until the 80s. I get what you are doing. I just hope that at some point, you also get to enjoy the aesthetic privileges that wealth allows.
Dude, I guess I’ve been doing this subconsciously, after reading this, I started to catch myself doing it, I’ll be honest I started laughing in my head, I thought I was going nuts
I know one guy that is very smart and very, very rich…he is famous and his trademark is the smile. And I know a lot of dumb people and they never EVER smile. So..I disagree with this aspect. The smile is beauty….most of the people look younger and beautiful when smile. Smile people!!!!! You are not looking dumb for that!
I agree about the smile. That is my trademark as well if you ever meet me in person :-)
But in a room full of sad and miserable people, you don’t really want to stand out and smile. You want to act glum!
Sam, LOVE YOU! Im’m grateful for all that you do. Thanks so much. Now I know why people seem out to get me. I always hate small talk. I’d much rather talk about mycology, physics, brewing beer, the meaning of life and the likes, because it’s interesting to me. I’m very competent, but also obviously a threat. And worst, I’m very physically intimidating, ex footballer, and it’s the first thing people mention when they see me. Also, I come form a minority group people haven’t typically associated with success. So maybe I over compensate by letting them know I’m no dummy and instead I end of up being that super competitor you described. Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. This is so upsetting to me. What an Idiot I’ve been. interestingly, I always get super competitive jobs that take 9 months or so to finish the application process. However, when I get there, a lot of haters show up. I’m starting a new job soon, so I’ll keep all of this in mind. Thank you so much for your contribution to this world. You have one of the best financial independence site on the web,and definitely the most unique site. Everyone else out there in the financial blogger world is just a basic repeat of all the same stuff. Well done!
you description fits me perfectly except i’m not physically fit. when i dumb down i’m not taken seriously. when i’m competitive i make a lot of enemies. i can’t progress either way.
Oh and another (former) friend from school always acted dumb, everyone thought she was the “dumb blonde”. Then when she graduated, she got all the best jobs everyone envied/wanted and made more salary $$ than most others. This was right out of graduation in a shitty economy too. Surprised everyone. She’s been through at least 3 gigs all at very good companies in good roles where people would be envious. And here everyone is wondering how the hell a dumbass gets all the good jobs and good pay. She clearly was faking dumb.
I used this trick in High School. The people at the top of my class were extremely competitive with rank and such. If they knew you were smart they would do everything possible to ruin you. So I did things to make myself seem stupid. I kept this up all four years. It was funny to see the people who thought they were so smart actually fall for my dumb act. It worked, no one considered me a threat and I graduated 9/280 and had the highest SAT score in my grade. It all worked till the end of my senior year when the school started announcing this stuff. My cover was blown when they announced who was in the top 15 of my class. Let me tell you those kid’s faces were hilarious. Watching them realize I was smart all along was so funny. Some people still didn’t get I played dumb and that just shows how stupid they were. As much as I hated dumbing myself down it was funny and honestly saved my academic life.
#2 is especially true!!! A colleague did just that (under promise and over delivered while acting dumb), and everyone was surprised and happy with her end result. I knew exactly what she was doing because I was closer to her but nobody else knew. They were all (pleasantly) surprised when she delivered the product. And here I’m thinking about the other people who would’ve delivered the same result but if they didn’t act so dumb, people wouldn’t be so happily surprised with the result. Why the hell should we exert so much more effort when we can do exactly #2. Who’s the dumbass here.
Oh and another (former) friend from school always acted dumb, everyone thought she was the “dumb blonde”. Then when she graduated, she got all the best jobs everyone envied/wanted and made more salary $$ than most others. This was right out of graduation in a shitty economy too. Surprised everyone. She’s been through at least 3 gigs all at very good companies in good roles where people would be envious. And here everyone is wondering how the hell a dumbass gets all the good jobs and good pay. She clearly was faking dumb.
[…] We become vapid communicators because we no longer remember how to write hand-written thank you letters. A quick text message will do. […]
Author:
think about those individuals mentioned, the actually dumb indivduals who think they’re smart. Now per your advice, they’ll be unnecessarily dumbing themselves down. Great.
Granted a lot of what you said just compared being dumb to having a warm personality. In response to that notion; there’s a way to stay 100% mentally sharp while having a friendly, warm personality everyone loves. You just need to be better at being smart instead of getting better at being stupid.
And unless you’re the smartest man in the world you’re obviously gonna have competition putting in more time and effort than you and coming away with more know how and better people skills because they gave it their all. What, you’re about to let those people lap you just because you’ve got experienced? Thats not stradegic that’s lame.
summary of OP’s logic:
Are you smart? But do you lack people skills?
Then take your intellect (power, time, value, whatever measure) and trade it for people skills. Maybe exchange for some for extra free time if you can.
…except your people skills will be easily detected as insincere by people you interact with who are genuine AND intelligent. Theyll probably wish to trade your fake personality for a greater display of intellect. For people who are always betting against themselves investing must seem like a lost cause.
Buts in not.
[…] 4) You broaden your knowledge and expertise across various topics so you can seem erudite but remain a little dumb. […]