If you want to increase your happiness, you must change your perspective. Let me share with you a simple example of how a change in perspective immediately boosted my happiness.
When an ambulance zooms by, sirens blazing, do you feel happy or sad? For the longest time, I felt sad. I’d imagine someone convulsing on their rickety living room floor due to a heart attack. I shared my feelings with my girlfriend at the time over brunch and she told me she actually felt happy hearing the sirens! WTF! No wonder why we broke up!
She explained, “Instead of thinking about someone suffering every time you hear an ambulance, think about how awesome it is someone is about to get help.”
Ah, so wise. Nowadays, every time I hear a firetruck or ambulance, I’m thinking, “go baby, go!” I feel proud of the service women and men who’ve dedicated their lives to helping others.
Examples Of How You Can Change Your Perspective For Greater Happiness
1) What’s Left Of These Old Fingers
It occurred to me as I reach mid-life crisis mode that I’m not sure how many articles are left in these slowly ossifying fingers. So far they’ve produced 1,278 articles. Perhaps they’ve got a thousand left to go before they completely shut down. My hope is that by the time I can no longer type, they’ll have created voice dictation software so great that speaking will work just as well as typing.
Although it’s sad to think my writing career is more than half over, I'm glad that when that day comes, I’ll be able to spend days reading through the archives and reminiscing about a life gone by. Further, these posts will forever be archived on the internet, potentially helping people achieve financial freedom sooner for decades and beyond.
Although thinking about how much energy I have left is a little sad, I've changed my perspective after having kids in 2017 and 2019. Now, I'm super-motivated to keep on writing for their sake just in case I die young. I want my kids to know me better and know how hard I tried for them.
In 2024, I've now written 2,270+ posts and over 980 pages. Let's rock!
2) Coming Back From A Trip
The anticipation of going on a trip is often just as exciting as the trip itself. When you’re finally on your trip, especially if the trip is amazing, you start counting down the days until you must leave.
“Back to the salt mines!” I often joke on the last day. But before heading back to San Francisco from my trip to Hawaii in July, I changed my perspective.
There are no salt mines in San Francisco. Instead, San Francisco is a place where millions of people go to visit every year due to its natural beauty, temperate weather, amazing food, and rich culture. San Francisco is where Hawaiians go to vacation!
I told my business partner on our last evening walk on the beach, “I’m excited to go on an extended vacation back to San Francisco. Maybe this time we’ll stay for a couple months before heading up to Lake Tahoe for our next business retreat.”
Related: Why Start A Business? To Create A Better Life Of Course!
3) This Old Car
While in Hawaii, I drove around in my father's 1998 Toyota Avalon. It doesn't have a sound system, Bluetooth, USB chargers, back up cameras, tinted windows, or paddle shifters. But it worked just fine. The engine climbed up the hills with ease. The seats were wide. And it was nice not having to worry about it getting scratched.
When I got back to San Francisco, I realized how awesome my 2015 Honda Fit truly is. It has a beefier steering wheel, tinted windows, double cameras, Bluetooth, USB chargers, and more. It even still rocks the new car smell.
Screw buying a fancy car before my lease is up in September 2017. I was reminded that I'm already driving my dream city car.
Change your perspective. If you do, you'll boost your happiness and appreciate more of the things you have.
Related:
The 1/10th Rule For Car Buying Folks Should Follow
A Race Against Time: Looking For The Hawaiian Dream House With My Parents
4) Traffic Jams
About once a week, I play tennis with a buddy of mine at 8:30am before he has to go to work. It's the worst time possible because every knuckle head is on the road then. My drive to the club, which normally only takes 12-15 minutes, goes up to 25-30 minutes.
I used to get pissed off sitting in traffic wondering why people act like sheep and subject themselves to torture. Why not just get to work by 7am and leave by 4pm or get to work at 10am and leave later instead? So much easier! It's the same idea as going to lunch at 11am or 1:30pm to avoid the crazy lines.
Then I had a change of perspective.
Now every time I'm stuck in traffic I think to myself, this is so awesome! More traffic means more employed people. More employed people means more corporate profits. Higher corporate profits means higher dividends and higher earnings, both of which are wonderful for investors. Given I'm also a landlord, more people is also great for occupancy and rent.
Very few things feel better than having your money work for you so you don't have to. Experiencing traffic jams for 30 minutes a week helps give me confidence the local economy is strong.
Related: Investment Strategies For Retirement Based On Modern Portfolio Theory
5) The PITA Contractor
Seven months after putting down my initial $500 deposit to build a deck, throw up a retaining wall, and install a new sliding door, my project is finally done! There were so many times I wanted to curse at him for disappearing for weeks on end. But after talking to more people about my project and publishing the post, Practice Taking Profits To Pay For A Better Life, so many people told me they couldn't even find a contractor! Instead of being annoyed, I should be thankful for just having one due to the massive demand.
Getting ignored no longer bothered me as much anymore. Instead of writing something nasty to my contractor, I started writing in a more friendly and encouraging tone. I then baked a giant carrot cake by telling him that if he did a good job with my project, I'd introduce him to other people with much larger projects. My contractor started getting more responsive as a result.
Not only is my project done, my contractor also said he'd “take care of me” if one of my referrals came through, whatever that means. I don't want his money. I just want him to do things to my house I cannot do in a timely manner. I'm excited to publish a new post with my finished deck!
Related: Why Home Remodeling Always Takes Longer And Costs More Than You Think
6) Not Getting Paid Or Promoted
After being a Director for four years (one up from VP in finance) I was hoping to get promoted to Managing Director. I was a strong revenue generator and loyal soldier for 10 years already. But due to corporate politics and a difficult economic environment back in 2011, I didn't ascend. The equities division needed to subsidize the money-losing fixed income division.
Although disappointed, I used the lack of a promotion as a signal to CHANGE MY LIFE. Logically I thought, if I was so amazing, I would have been promoted. Therefore, I'm not that amazing so it's time to move on! I was bored of doing the same thing for so many years. I had already started questioning whether this was all there was to life. Instead of being delusional about my abilities as a corporate employee, I found a way to leave with a severance package the very next year to go on a new adventure.
There's not one day that goes by where I wish I had stayed in the finance industry. If I got promoted to MD, I'd still be doing the same old thing today. I would never be able to break free and fully exercise my dream of being an entrepreneur.
Related posts:
Money Never Sleeps, Why Should You?
Develop A Strong Money Mindset To Get Rich
Solving The Happiness Conundrum In Five Moves Or Less
Increase Happiness
Feeling sorry for our first world problems isn't going to bring us any happiness. There's always a positive in every negative situation. Go find it. Change your perspective to things in a more positive light.
And if you really can't find the positive just remember we've got endless food to eat while nearly 800 million people in the world go hungry every night. Maybe then, we'll stop taking our good fortune for granted.
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I have coached high school students from asian families who were rebelling against there family by doing track. Crazy! One girl’s parents refused to buy her properly fitted shoes so we bought some for her.
While being well off financially by becoming a professional athlete is a long shot for most people don’t forget that being an athlete can pay for college! My spouse came from a single/teen mom family. Mom paying for college was not an option. But by being a talented athlete he was able to pay for college and living expenses at a good university. And being realistic/wise used this great opportunity to major in engineering.
Perspective is everything! I recently spent a few hundred dollars more than normal on healthcare. Most of the tests turned out negative. I still have to pay for them, naturally. I’m excited that we have ruled out some possibilities. I’m also excited that I am finally financially fit enough that I am seeking out the medical answers. It is taking some money away from debt reduction, but pain reduction is a worthy goal and I’m excited that some of the steps are working.
Nothing is more important than our health. I’m glad whatever it is you tested for is negative. Once our health is gone, life is so much worse. Even spraining an ankle badly for me last week was very sobering. No more hikes, no more tennis. Just pushups and situps and typing all day long.
This is really great perspective. I think too often we look internally at our immediate needs/wants and can’t see the bigger picture.
It took my wife and I 18 months to get pregnant, however this was a blessing in disguise. We were able to travel all around the world during our first three years of marriage and now that we have a child, we know we wouldn’t be able to have that type of freedom to travel again.
That’s a great outlook! And I’m very happy for you two! There’s a lot of benefits of being an older parent. It might even be better, especially if you know it you will live longer. Maybe less divorce, and less stress Since finances are better settled and we’re more mature.
This is a great reminder!
Perspective is really important because being happy is more about building habits and having the right attitude. And to be honest, I should be a lot more grateful. As long as you have health, food, and shelter there’s really nothing to complain about. When my own (first world personal struggles) get in the way, I try to remind myself that some people don’t even have shelter to go home to. Some are ill with a life threatening disease. There are so many worse things in life than the petty things most of us worry about.
Also, I found it funny that you’re already thinking of voice dictation software because I’ve thought about that too. I more recently started to experience some wrist pain from using my laptop too much and had to start using a mouse. That alone made me realize that one day I’m not going to be able to do this. I’m only 30 and still got a long way to go, but the idea has crossed my mind.
Thanks for sharing the reminder, Sam. It’s a great way to start off the week.
I work in a small office with 11 co-workers. It used to bother me that everyone else in my office lived on the wealthier northwest side of town while I was the only one living in the poor southeast side of town. It wasn’t until my co-workers started to complain about rush hour traffic, higher property taxes, and association fees that I began to appreciate living where I do. Since most people on my side of town don’t commute into the city for work I don’t have traffic issues and I live in a house on 3.5 acres surrounded by beautiful oak trees in an area I feel safe in. I feel like I’ve stumbled on the town’s best kept secret.
Great article on perspective! There are always more than 1 way to look at things, and often we actually do have things a lot better off than we think. Similar to the glass half empty or half full saying.
“..When I got back to San Francisco, I realized how awesome my 2015 Honda Fit truly is. It has a beefier steering wheel, tinted windows, double cameras, Bluetooth, USB chargers, and more. It even still rocks the new car smell…”
I drive a 2013 Toyota Prius C and I absolutely love it! Although not the fastest car, it does feel quite sporty. I only have to fill up once every two weeks or so and when I do it’s only like $25. I am totally with you on that Sam!
The things you own eventually begin to own you. No attachments, total freedom.
If you can live without all of your assets, and still be happy, you’re free.
This isn’t to say you can’t have nice things. This is to say your happiness should not depend on them.
Why?
If happiness is generated outside you, that means an external force controls your happiness. More control in your life, the better. Look at entrepreneurship. it’s more control where in a job, you have less.
Manage your feelings internally. Never be negative, or pessimistic. These things matter.
I was walking to work last week tired and stressed about the day ahead. My work is on the Embarcadero by the Bay Bridge. When I walked right by the bridge, I smiled when I realized that I live in a city where people travel all around the world to visit. It always helps me to take a step back and appreciate the life I have and the city I live in.
Love all your articles, thanks for posting!
LM
Absolutely agree Sam!
Here in the USA we are much more fortunate than most around the rest of the world, but some are struggling here too and that will change for the better :) (positive thinking) .
To all…Some days can be better than others and some can suck, but one thing to remember is that if you woke up today it’s already a great day. Stay positive and spread love to all. We all will become stronger.
PS Sam
I am working on a website and brand motivated by your articles on starting a website/brand/business. I am in the process of creating it and will let you know when I launch. It’s not crazy, but its a passion of mine and it makes me happy. So why not! Yeah buddy!
One Love,
John
This week I had a conversation with a wealthy, wise 85 year old client who told me he had five things he thought a person needed for optimal happiness and success:
1) Religion.
2) Being Married and picking a good spouse.
3) Passion for accomplishing your goals.
4) Education.
5) Community Involvement.
I thought it was a decent list and seemed to work for him. Perspective is everything though.
Good wisdom. I agree with all five points.
Having a purpose is another one. A purpose to get up every day is very powerful.
Another great article. I was reminded this week while doing interviews for a open position. Except for a couple of breaks and a good boss I could be sitting in that seat looking for a better job instead of interviewing that person. Many of these people have the same education and years of experience, but haven’t been able to move up. There have been times I have been disappointed in not get a promotion, but when I look at my income and the type of work I do I have a good life.
Ha, but have you written almost 1300 articles and play tennis three times a week?
Great post Sam!
I worked at a place that had very abrasive management/labor relations. One day, a worker came into my office yelling, screaming, and swearing at why I was doing such a bad job and making bad decisions-right in front of my boss and coworkers. I told my boss I wanted to write him up for bad behavior and I received a horrible glare with a resounding, “No, you can’t do that!.”
Was I mad at the worker? A little. I was furious with my boss because he tacitly approved of the screaming. I got angry, I got resentful, but I didn’t create any unnecessary conflict with the boss. Instead, I spent the next week after work in coffee shops updating my resume and sending it out to as many companies as possible. Within a month, I received an interview from a prominent company in the industry for an almost dream job. Taking the job resulted in almost a 30% increase in total compensation, increased and diversified my skill set, and brought me closer to home for my friends and family. Plus, the travel associated with the job allowed me to explore the East coast and central Mexico all on the company dime:)
On my last day at work at the hostile job, I shook the hand of the rude worker and told him I owed my success to him:)
Awesome! Success is the best revenge. I wonder how he reacted?
One of the VPs in my office made fun of me with an “air keyboard” gesture when I told him I was going to try and build a blog after leaving. His poking gave me GREAT motivation to succeed, especially since he was junior in age and title.
Not only was my severance much more than he made that year while I only worked 3 months, he’s still stuck at his same old job while the industry contracts, making less money.
So fun!
Related: How I Use Rejection To Motivate Me Every Single Day
I think the VP who made fun of you had to belittle the idea of blogging otherwise his whole career path bubble would have burst. Everyone likes to believe they are choosing the best path and even if they aren’t, will be in denial. The conventional wisdom is ingrained into society and that much more so at large companies with strict career paths. He worked hard to get there, I’m sure, and didn’t want to believe anyone else could succeed at something different.
The worker took it rather well when I shook his hand and congratulated me quite genuinely on my new job. Honestly, although he was a jerk especially to me, I think the system turned him into one.
This was a strong union facility and the management took a cowardly attitude and pretty much gave the union workers a free pass to do anything. A worker attacked his boss with a forklift and received no consequences. A worker pulled down the pants of another worker and received only a slap on the wrist. A worker sexually harassed a female contractor and received effectively only a warning. A worker used racial slurs and received only a stern warning. When the racial slur was reported, HR seemed more interested in attacking the credibility of his direct supervisor in order to hush things up. I’d like to mention, these were only the incidents I saw directly during my 2.5 years. When you see all that mayhem going unpunished, why wouldn’t you think it’s ok to scream at a manager?
Hi Sam,
I love this post. I’m a first generation American and constantly get frustrated that so many people my age born in this country “have it all” and how if I had half those opportunities, I could have been so much more better off.
After reading this, I feel like post, I feel like those disadvantages have actually helped me accomplish great things and served as a way of motivating me.
Thanks for yet another interesting post Sam.
Issac
Cool you were an EMT in college! I met a couple others during college and they said they really appreciated the experience. Of to the rescue! How good of a feeling is that?
That’s a great way to live. We should take a little time to reflect and remind ourselves how lucky we are. Sure, life could be better, but my life is so easy compare to my parents. My cheap Mazda 5 is so much nicer than our old Chevy Astro. Life is good.
Oh, when I was in college there was an apartment where older people live. There’d be an ambulance parked out front once in a while and we used to say there goes another one. I still don’t like ambulances. They are bad news..
You could think of waiting in line at the grocery store as giving you time to think and appreciate the marketing strategies that companies use to get you to grab that last extra item to put in your cart. Then the waiting doesnt have to suck so bad
Haha, good idea. I never go to the grocery store when busy. I hate the wait. I’m also an express checkout type of person when I go 75% of the time.
The same strategy can be said when surfing other websites. They’ve all spent money and thought of the best ways to construct their site. Why not do a little learning and mimicking?
Great things to keep in mind and in perspective. I really look forward to seeing your monthly newsletter also!
Dictation software? Try Dragon Dictation with a powermic ii and you will thank me , try it and you might even invite me to your Lake Tahoe pad!!
OK! Thanks for the tip!
Sam,
Bingo. You got the point. By changing our paradigm we can respond with compassion or understanding instead of frustration or anger. If we do it enough it becomes a habit and we become happier naturally. Unfortunately it’s easy to forget so I’m sure writing this article and teaching and sharing with others will make you practice it more, and thus increase your own happiness!
Well done.
-Mike
Nice article. This week my water heater started leaking from the bottom. Yikes. Instead of getting all bent out of shape I decided to learn how to replace one since I’ve never done that before.
The cost of a new one didn’t thrill me either. I found the old manual and warranty and found out it had a 12 year limited warranty. It had been about 10-11 years since that one was installed. I called the company about the warranty fully expecting them to deny it somehow. They said bring it in where it was purchased and we will credit you that amount. Really? That simple? What’s the catch I thought.
Turns out there wasn’t any. I got almost a $500 credit and used it towards buying a new one. Just fired it up this evening and waiting for the water to get hot now so I can do dishes, laundry, etc..(take a shower even?)
Realize how lucky we are that in some countries they’d be happy to have regular water running to a house never mind getting hot water.
Had I not been FI I would also have had to go to work and pay someone else to come over and take care of all this. I worked on it in between taking the kids to school and activities over the past couple of days and learned some things.
All a matter of how you look at things.
Glad you got that water heater covered under warranty! Mine exploded and flooded my renter’s room. That sucked. Felt bad. Got a new one, and helped him w/ some expenses. He was moving out too!
Love this article! Perspective changes everything. The happiest and most successful people are the ones who can turn a negative into a positive.
As we get older, our perspective changes. We no longer care about the minor irritants and instead focus on the bigger picture.
I love the recent string of posts you have had. Keep ’em coming.
For a different perspective and some possible insight on dictation software for old ossified fingers, checkout the website of the “old bed guy.” I have no relationship to him or the blog, other than asking for his free free advice when I last bought a mattress.
I agree with you Sam, change your perspective for a happier life :)
You should look into Nuance’s Dragon dictation software, it’s pretty good already.
And I totally agree with you – traffic is a good sign. Plus, you’re not sitting IN traffic, you ARE traffic – don’t forget that :)
Tristan
Will do! I hope it’s better than the voice dictation on the iPhone! I use that to respond to many comments when I’m on the move.
Thanks for the traffic tip! That is a good one!