One of the biggest fears workers have about retirement is losing their sense of purpose. That fear is not unfounded. It is one of the negatives of early retirement nobody likes talking about.
For the first several months, maybe even a year, you may feel a little lost. The steady paycheck is gone. The camaraderie of colleagues over long boozy lunches disappears. A low grade melancholy can set in. But it passes, and when it does, you naturally find new purpose on your own terms.
I know this firsthand. I retired in 2012 and have lived through every up and down of early retirement and semi-retirement since. Despite everything, I would not trade a single year of that freedom for more money. Offer me millions and I would still choose the time I have had with my kids, my health, and my life over grinding 60 hours a week for someone else's dream.
But this post is not just for people choosing to retire or retire early.
With firms like Block laying off 40% of their workforce, a combination of overhiring and accelerating AI productivity gains, many other bloated companies will inevitably follow. If you have been laid off, or suspect you might be, I want to address the fear that you will permanently lose your sense of purpose and meaning.
You will not.
Yes, a job gives you purpose. The problem is when it becomes your only source of it.
Easy To Find Meaning And Purpose In The Little Things
It took me about 12 months to get over the initial shock of early retirement. By year three I was fully settled, and there was no going back. What I have discovered over 14 years of being unemployed is that the little things provide just as much purpose as the big ones.
Let me share one random day that illustrates exactly what I mean.
Managing rental properties can be a pain, but it also provides a surprising amount of purpose. Something always needs fixing, and fixing things turns out to feel satisfying.
On the morning of February 27th, my tenant emailed to say the side door to the outside was rotting out. A couple of years ago that email would have mildly annoyed me. This time, with the stock market down, my kids at school, and my wife substitute teaching across town, I was home alone and bored. When the email came in, I was actually relieved.
I called my handyman and we met at the property at 10am with the tenant. We measured, talked it through, and landed on a solid core wooden door. We had briefly considered fiberglass or metal for weather resistance, but neither can be easily cut or sanded for a precise fit.
Wood won. It was genuinely fun solving the problem together.
More Things To Do
While my handyman was there, I put him to work on two other items that had been sitting on my mental list.
First, I had him climb onto the roof and spray sealant on parts of the light well that might be leaking after a particularly violent storm. It was the same issue from eight years ago, when a clogged drain created a three to four inch pool of standing water.
Second, I had him adjust a side gate that had been bent and would not lock properly.
The solid wood door and new door knob cost $400 and another $350 for labor. Not too bad. For 35 minutes I felt useful to my tenant. I also watered the side and front yard for another 15 as insurance, just in case they forget.
I gave business to a handyman I have trusted since 2020, someone who is not the cheapest option but has never let me down. And I took another small step toward protecting an important piece of our semi-passive retirement income.
That is a pretty good morning.
Next Purposeful Quest
After the property visit, I drove to my office mailbox to drop off nine signed copies of my USA Today bestseller, Millionaire Milestones for readers who had taken advantage of the free Empower financial checkup. You can still participate by clicking this post and following the simple instructions.
Writing personal notes in each copy felt genuinely meaningful. I spent about $200 on books and shipping, and I do not mind at all. These are readers who care deeply about their finances and long-time readers of Financial Samurai.
Afterward I picked up lunch at my favorite Vietnamese noodle spot, and brought extra food home for the family dinner.
A signed book, a bowl of pho, a fed family. Not a bad afternoon.
Break Time To Write This Post
After lunch I sat down to write this post to help retirees and the recently unemployed feel better about an uncertain future. Sharing firsthand experience has been rewarding over the years, and that day was no different.
Maybe for you it is not writing. Maybe it is applying for jobs in a completely different field, or taking a continuing education course to get certified in something new. Or maybe it is going for a 30 minute run to try to lose those last 10 pounds. Even if the scale does not move, you will almost certainly feel better afterward.
For me, having something mentally stimulating to do after any type of physical activity provides for a happy balance. Usually, I'll go play tennis or pickleball for 1-2.5 hours. However, I was nursing an injury.
Nap Time And Then School Pickup
My favorite thing to do after a hearty lunch is take a nap. No apologies. It's also easier to nap after I've done something productive, like write a post.
After that I picked up my wife from the school where she was substitute teaching, and took her to our children's school for a Girl Scouts troop meeting.
My wife had insisted on taking the bus and subway to our school, not wanting to feel like she was putting me out. I insisted on driving her anyway. She said she felt bad that I was acting like her Uber driver. I told her that driving her was exactly why I gave over 500 Uber rides back in 2015. I was training for these moments.
In the end, I saved her 30 minutes of commuting time and got her to Girl Scouts before it started at 3:30pm. Helping my wife always makes me feel useful. It's also good for our relationship.
After picking up the kids we ate Vietnamese food together, helped them with homework for 30 minutes, then ended the night with the kids and I being completely silly in the hot tub. Bath and bed by 9pm.
Small Things Provide A Tremendous Amount Of Meaning
That day, I did not close a big business deal or give a presentation to hundreds of people. Nor did I attend a fancy conference where I hobnobbed with powerful people. Instead I did a lot of small things that made me feel like I mattered. And that was more than enough.
When we are caught up climbing the corporate ladder and chasing status and prestige, we forget there are countless other sources of meaning outside of work.
We convince ourselves that purpose must come from a promotion, a bigger paycheck, or a more impressive title. But I promise you, it does not have to.
The little things in life can provide just as much meaning as Senior Vice President or Managing Director on your LinkedIn profile, often times more.
Diversify Your Identity Before You Retire Or Get Laid Off
The risk of tying your entire identity to your career is that you slowly stop investing in everything else. And when the inevitable day comes that you leave your job, voluntarily or not, the void feels overwhelming because you never diversified your identity.
From gardening to teaching your kids guitar to simply washing the dishes with some intention, there are endless ways to find purpose once you no longer have a day job.
And within three months of your departure, hardly anyone at your old company will be thinking about you anyway. Your position will be eliminated or filled by someone else trying to hit their quarterly numbers.
So go ahead. Embrace the freedom that retirement or unemployment offers. Do not worry about becoming an aimless soul, void of purpose. You will find something meaningful to do, no matter what stage of life you're in.
Readers, if you are unemployed or retired, have you been able to find new purpose with your free time? Do you think some people tie too much of their identity to their careers, to the detriment of everything else? And do workers truly not realize how quickly they will be forgotten once they leave?
Negotiate A Severance Package And Break Free
If you are thinking about leaving your job or sense a layoff coming, do not quit. Quitting leaves you with nothing. Negotiating a severance package, on the other hand, can give you a meaningful financial runway and the breathing room to figure out what comes next.
Both my wife and I negotiated our own severances. That money gave us the courage to walk away and never look back. Since retiring in 2012 and 2015, respectively, we've traveled extensively, wrote a couple more bestselling books, and became stay at home parents to two children. It's been a wonderful life so far.
If you want to learn how to do the same, pick up a copy of my bestselling ebook How To Engineer Your Layoff. Use code “saveten” to save $10 at checkout.
My early retirement start date was suddenly changed when my partner died unexpectedly during a covid yr. So our planned Europe trip for bought tickets and Italian ferry were cancelled. I worked an extra 2 yrs. to retire at 64. Still working gave me a powerful reason to get up daily and be productive. Meanwhile on side, time for me to grieve, deal legal costs. Also I had to replan my finances and hired someone to do forecasting on tax impact since I also suddenly became a widow with surivor pension payments and my own saved account mushroomed faster than expected.
I retired after a planned completion of a corporate project for my employer. I also took off by plane from Canada, 3 days later to join U.S. friends in Mexico. which included overnight stay at a spa with mineral soaking pools. As a Canadian, a wonderful surprise see a herd of wild elk trot up the NM scrub land up the mountain side and enjoy the night sky with stars in the desert. I did fill part of my purpose to visit the U.S…..before the 2024 Nov. Presidential election. Included Chicago and northern Minnesota along L. Superior in autumn.
However after above, and also Italy, this yr., my drive to travel overseas has been dullened this yr. with the global situation. Love to visit NYC since have Canadian nephew and gf there working in high tech. So during my go-go, healthy retirement time, I’m happy to settle to seeing Canada since we are the world’s 2nd biggest country. (sometimes wish we weren’t so big and expensive to travel…). Then evaluate yr. by yr. ahead for international travel. I am like many Canadians this yr.: many have lost their appetite to vacation travel to/in the U.S. That too is intentional planning..many of us never anticipated a few yrs. ago.
It’s ok…with my late partner I did enough international travel and both of us also did self-loaded bike trips over 4 wks. long each trip…when with him for 29 yrs…. My advice for all folks here: DON’T wait too long for your pet travel destinations. You don’t know about the country’s stability then, your health /partner’s health and even the weather, now that heated temperatures/drought and wildfires (even in Greece, Spain, etc.).
I’m sorry for your loss. What you went through is one of those life events that completely reshapes the timeline, and the fact that you kept moving forward, continued working, and gave yourself space to grieve and rebuild speaks to a lot of strength.
Early retirement isn’t just about hitting a number, it’s about adaptability and hedging against life’s ups and downs. Life rarely follows the clean, spreadsheet-driven path we imagine. Plans change, priorities shift, and sometimes continuing to work isn’t a failure of the plan, it’s exactly what gives you purpose and stability when you need it most.
I also think you made a great point about purpose. Many people fear losing it after leaving their careers, but your story shows the opposite can be true. Work can be a bridge during difficult transitions, not just a grind to escape from.
And your advice about not waiting too long to travel is spot on. We tend to assume there will always be time later, but health, geopolitics, and even climate are variables we don’t control. I’ve seen the same thing after decades of investing and planning. The biggest risks are often the ones we never modeled.
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s a powerful reminder that retirement planning isn’t just financial, it’s deeply human.
All great points, Sam. It’s been a convoluted journey of wild swings in past few years. Much appreciate the thoughts.
You can’t dangle a favourite pho spot and not give it a shout out by name.
I’m on the peninsula and Pho Element and Saigon City in San Mateo are my favourites.
AI is coming for the jobs of humans, but as retirees we have time to become masters of it while others are forced to contend with the push and pull of their job.
Yummy Yummy on Irving and 11th! Great food and affordable pricing.
It is strange, not to really care personally about AI job disruption. However, because I have kids, I do, which is why I was so relentless, and trying to find a solution to hedge against a bleak future. Thankfully, that solution panned out with the launch of VCX.
Perilla?
This is a thoughtful and timely post. My wife and I retired early a year and a bit ago. I never missed working, but she/I sometimes miss the stress, as dumb as that sounds. I’ve felt like I need to actively make an effort to be engaging; go to lunch with somebody I just met; think about something interesting that I’d like to talk about. It will be different for each individual. I try to pay attention, but also not worry about it at the same time.
Reminds me of the novel “Candide” by Voltaire.
I planned on retiring in December 2025, but delayed that to March 2026 when the company I worked for was not doing well financially. I wanted to see if I could get a severance package to leave. I talked with my boss in November and said if there were layoffs pick me as I am ready to go. On December 10th I got a call that would be my last day and received a good severance package. Even though I felt like I was ready to retire, I have not found my groove yet. I agree that actually retiring can be tough and will take time to find your purpose and latch onto things that make you happy and feel productive.
Congrats on the delay and being proactive in getting a severance package! You also provided some relief for your boss, as laying people off is never fun.
March 2026 is now… give it three months, and review. Then give it another 9 months. You will find your groove.
Create a schedule. Set some goals. Don’t let the days blend in watching TV all day. I’m excited for you!
I’m one of the few people completely unafraid of retirement and finding purpose. I completely agree that doing those small tasks around the house and helping others is incredibly satisfying. Getting that door repaired I’m sure felt good. Right now, my purpose is working towards retirement, I do not have the same need to work like the older generations do.
Great you are not afraid of losing purpose in retirement. When do you think you’ll retire and what is keeping you from calling it a career?
I have been FIRE’d for years. I joined the board of directors for a non-profit where I learned skills and now I manage the various state and federal filings for the organization.
I never would have had this opportunity to grow my talents if I had stayed at a “real” full-time job.
Sounds like a productive use of time. Was it easy or hard to join a BoD for a non-profit? I’ve observed the ones who are on boards either have a lot of current status or donated a lot. I’ve never done it so any insights appreciated. thanks
It was easy because I am one of their members and they were looking for volunteers. It is a working board. The larger non-profits are seeking board members with connections and have fundraising goals or you as a board member are the benefactor.
Good to know. Even better that you are a member and know the mission well. What is the non-profit in?
Great Topic and Post!!
I retired in 2013 and my elderly Mom asked me to help her. It was minor at first but ultimately became full time caregiving. Our Lord was merciful and she passed peacefully in her sleep last week at 91. I now thank God for giving us 13 amazing years together as best friends. I wouldn’t trade one second with her for any amount of money or work accomplishment.
And don’t forget volunteering! I have been with the Knights of Columbus for almost 25 years now. During COVID, we shopped and delivered groceries for seniors in our town. Not only way it great to help them, but it let me drag the kids along to help and show them the world was not actually ending and we could do a lot of good on behalf of people who really needed the help. It forced them out of their own little world to realize that other people had problems also that sometimes dwarfed theirs and it always feels good to lend a helping hand! I also volunteer at a local homeless shelter serving meals. I dare anyone to feel sorry for themselves or their lot in life after handing a meal to a mother of small children with no place to sleep. I’ve never left any of my volunteer experiences not feeling better for helping those less fortunate.
Loved your story. Thanks for sharing! Purpose and meaning even in the little everyday mundane things makes such a difference. And I fully believe in having the courage to reinvent yourself or expand your life sideways throughout the decades of adulthood.
About four months ago, I started writing down everything I do each day from the smallest of tasks to the biggest. That process has really helped bring me more peace when I go to bed each night. It reminds me that I am enough even when my to do list is still miles long at the end of the day.
It’s literally impossible to do everything we want to do every day and sometimes the daily mundane stuff (buying groceries, attacking the sky high pile of dirty dishes, reading emails, errands, laundry, sleeping more than 6 hours) can eat up a ridiculous amount of time. But it just has to do get done and writing down each time I do those things has helped my head stay more clear so that I have the inertia and headspace to tackle the hard stuff.