There are plenty of reasons people choose not to have kids, with the cost of raising them being a major one. Another big factor is the fear that children will disrupt an ideal FIRE lifestyle. Many envision a life of traveling the world, indulging in incredible cuisine, and living spontaneously—things that can feel more challenging with kids in tow.
I understand that perspective. I grew up living in six countries before college, studied abroad for six months, and spent 13 years working in international equities. Travel was a huge part of my life. My approach was to achieve financial independence as quickly as possible and then have kids.
As an older parent, I feel relatively secure, having had more time to save and invest. However, I do wish I had children earlier than 39 and 42, given how much energy it takes to raise them. Starting younger would have meant more years with them later in life.
To prepare for settling down, my wife and I spent 2012–2017 traveling to about 20 countries before having our first child. We wanted to get those travel experiences out of our system so we could fully embrace being stay-at-home parents during their early years. By the time our son arrived, we were over the constant urge to hop on planes or ships, so our plan worked.
This mindset helped us focus on raising our kids without feeling the fear of missing out—especially during the first two years of the pandemic.
Don't Be Afraid of Having Kids If You Want to FIRE
Eight years into parenting, however, I’m realizing that delaying having kids is a bad idea if you truly want them. Kids won’t derail your FIRE lifestyle as much as you might think because they actually have more flexibility than you’d expect.
Plus, as you get older, your desire to travel and party as much naturally declines. Instead, you may find yourself enjoying the simple pleasures of reading a good personal finance book in bed or ordering takeout while watching your favorite show. Take for example my latest travels.
Just a couple of weeks after spending five nights skiing at Palisades, Lake Tahoe, we are back for another four-night stay. With my kids off from school for nine days between February 15-23, I figured we should make the most of it with another trip.
Being the frugal personal finance enthusiast that I am, we planned our visit strategically—driving up on Monday, February 17, and leaving Friday, February 21. This way, we could rent out our place the weekends before and after, maximizing rental income. For a 3.5-hour drive each way, we’ve found that four to five nights is the sweet spot. Plus, weekend rates are peak rates, and we prefer fewer crowds on the mountain anyway.
So Many School Vacation Holidays!
During the drive up, I couldn’t help but think: Dang, these kids are really lucky—so many vacations! It feels like they’re taking more trips than I ever did as a kid. It’s almost as if education has taken a backseat to maximizing freedom at an early age.
Once we arrived, I decided to check our school vacation calendar. Sure enough, there are 46 vacation/off days during the school year—not including the 2.5 months off for summer. When you factor in the weekends wrapped around those breaks, we’re looking at 4.5 months of free time a year!
All these days off feel like the beginning of the quiet quitting movement, but for school. Does anyone else feel like the number of school vacation days is reaching ever-higher levels?
Ideal Amount of Time to Spend Traveling Each Year
Before semi-retiring in 2012, I imagined that the ideal amount of time to travel when FIRE was about three months per year. I had already been taking six weeks off a year for the last two years of my work career. My plan was simple:
- One month in Hawaii to spend more time with my parents.
- One month in Lake Tahoe to get as much snowboarding in as possible.
- One month traveling internationally, ideally visiting at least two countries.
For several years, I stuck to this plan, sometimes extending my travels to 3.5 months a year. But eventually, I got tired of all it all. While I’m not at that point again, I’m reminded of how exhausting frequent travel can be as I was driving up to Lake Tahoe.
As much as I enjoy experiencing new places, I've come to appreciate the balance between adventure and staying put. While three months per year might have been the sweet spot before kids, I’m now reconsidering what the ideal amount really is.
Vacation for Kids Usually Means More Work for Parents
While vacations are fun for kids, they often require more effort from FIRE parents or those who choose to take time off instead of sending their kids to mini-camps or daycare. The more school breaks your child has, the more energy you’ll need to dedicate to parenting.
That said, this extra time together is a gift—especially if your kids are under 12. At this stage, all they want is to spend as much time with family as possible. One of the best perks of FIRE is having the flexibility to enjoy every school break with them.
However, if you’re a FIRE parent who has settled into a routine where traditional school acts as a default structure for your kids, you may feel more exhausted during extended vacations. We get used to our habits, and ironically, not having to homeschool has made us softer.
Beyond parenting, most FIRE parents I know have personal passions they love to pursue. For me, it’s writing on Financial Samurai and creating a new personal finance book every three years.
To be more present on vacation, I prepared ahead by writing and scheduling three posts in advance. But, inevitably, new post ideas—like this one—popped into my head, so I had to write and publish them. Plus, I enjoy engaging with reader comments and emails. So when I'm on vacation, it’s never a complete break.
Three Months of Travel a Year Is More Than Enough
Traveling solo or with your partner is completely different from traveling with young kids. If I were alone, I’d throw everything into a backpack and go. But with kids, our SUV gets packed to the brim—dietary-specific foods, clothes, stuffed animals, puzzles, games, and more. And if we’re flying, checked luggage is inevitable. Thankfully, we’re past the stroller and car seat stage.
Because traveling with kids requires more effort, my original three-month-per-year travel goal feels more than enough. In fact, eight weeks a year of travel is probably plenty with children. Even if the kids could travel 365 days a year, none of us would want to do so. Kids, in particular, enjoy the comfort of their own homes.
Looking ahead, March has another four-day school break, followed by two three-day weekends. Do we really want to return to Tahoe just two weeks later? Maybe. Consistently attending ski school is great for development. But maybe we’ll opt for Sonoma/Napa Valley instead—just 1.15 hours away to change things up.
Then in April, there's a nine-day break for spring vacation. I love spring skiing when temperatures regularly hit the 40s. But if the snow is too thin, we’ll probably head to Honolulu to visit my parents—if they'll have us.
When you have the freedom to take a trip during every school break, it can feel overwhelming. You've got to plan, pack, pay, coordinate, and travel. But staying home doing nothing can also feel like a waste since you are free. As a result, the natural tendency is to plan and go because you can.
The Real Fun Begins in Summer for FIRE Parents
With 46 school days off throughout the year (not counting weekends), you might feel exhausted by June, when school gets out. But then comes 2.5 months of summer break to plan!
Most parents rely on summer camps, which offer fantastic programs—if you can secure a spot. In San Francisco, competition is fierce, and I assume it’s the same in other big cities. If you don’t land a spot, it’s on the parents to fill the days.
Personally, I run “Daddy Camp” for my kids, which currently includes swimming, biking, hiking, Pokémon Go adventures, reading, and pickleball. I also have “Be Responsible Camp,” where I teach them life skills about adulthood. Subjects include manners, communication skills, household chores, landscaping, and rental property maintenance. It’s fun but also a lot of work.
This summer, we plan to spend at least a month in Honolulu. If we get the kids into a local summer camp, that’ll be a bonus—it’s like winning the lottery since out-of-towners are last in line. But if not, Daddy Camp and Be Responsible Camp will continue in Honolulu. But before booking the tickets, we need to lock down a 30-day-or-longer rental house. Anybody have one?
You Can Travel Enough and Enjoy Your Freedom While School Is in Session
At the end of the day, having kids doesn’t ruin your desired FIRE lifestyle—you still get to travel plenty, just with them. As they grow older, travel becomes even more rewarding. Instead of just reading about the pyramids in Egypt, they’ll see them in person. Instead of nibbling at expensive meals, they’ll actually eat enough to justify the cost. More importantly, you’ll create amazing memories together for up to 4.5 months a year.
When school is in session, you’ll regain ~40 hours per week to do whatever you want. That is when you might experience true early retirement life again since you don't have to work. And when they leave for college, you’ll have 168 free hours per week if you wish. Hang in there! Yet, at the same time, cherish every moment with them.
Having kids will enhance your FIRE lifestyle because they will give you more purpose to explore. Yes, you’ll be more tired, spend more passive income, and have your patience tested endlessly. But kids will significantly increase the joy and purpose of financial independence. So don’t let your pursuit of FIRE stop you from having kids if you want them!
FIRE May No Longer Be Necessary
Finally, with so many flexible work arrangements available today, is early retirement even necessary anymore? Many of my friends at Meta and Google work from home on Fridays and Mondays, effectively turning every weekend into a four-day getaway. Whether it’s hitting the slopes or relaxing at the beach, they’re already enjoying a taste of the FIRE lifestyle—without having to retire.
Getting paid to vacation and travel with your kids feels like a double bonus. As someone who didn’t even receive paid parental leave, I’m not sure I could give up such a perk.
Logically, it makes sense to get paid to travel and vacation for as long as possible. If your employer starts tightening the reins, just ramp up your efforts until they ease up again.
If you're a FIRE parent, I'd love to hear how having kids has influenced your FIRE lifestyle. Has it changed the way you originally planned to live? Do you find yourself constantly planning adventures whenever school is out, or have you learned to resist FOMO and enjoy a more relaxed, local lifestyle? How do you plan summer vacation with them?
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Time in the market it more important than timing the market. In other words, your decade of delaying kids for 29-39 is the reason you can live and afford the lifestyle you do with kids.
True, but in retrospect, I would have had them 5 years earlier, like 34-35.
Now I’m motivated to exercise, eat right, and stay in shape for the homes or living longer than the median expectancy of around 78-80 for men.
This article resonates with me alot as we are in a somewhat similar situation to you (although a few years behind). My spouse & I are in our late 30s with 2 kids below 5; and have been enjoying early retirement for the past couple years. We’d always planned to FIRE when the kids were young so that we could travel with them without having to worry about them missing school.
We started traveling when my 2nd was 2 months old and spent a month in the UK. Last year, we spent 3 months in Europe + a couple weeks in UK. This year we’re planning something similar. In between, we also take short trips domestically as well. However, you’re very right in that traveling with kids is no vacation for the parents – it’s often more tiring and stressful, especially since a lot of your support networks aren’t available in a foreign country.
However, we discovered an education program that caters to digital nomad families – with locations in Portugal, Italy, Spain, Greece, Montenegro, Indonesia and recently opened a spot in Uruguay that provides education for kids from age 18 months to 14 years old, accommodation for the families, co-working spaces for those who work + a ready-made community of 20-25 families with a similar mindset. It’s awesome, as they also provide all the stuff that kids need – like cots, high chairs, cutlery for children, baby baths, etc. so that helps to reduce the amount of stuff you need to bring. Plus all the accommodation, school & co-working hub are within walking distance in a small town that’s about 30 min away from a large city – so you get a small-town feel, but still have access to city conveniences.
It’s awesome in that the kids go to school Monday to Friday in a new country, we get to explore while they’re at school + we also get to take them out to explore post-school and during weekends. The program also organises field trips and movie nights for the kids so the parents get to go out for dinners or late night festivals / fiestas every few weeks. The program also organises events for parents like local wine & food tasting tours, hiking, yoga, as well as other activities depending on the location (e.g. surfing, sculpturing, cooking class, archery, etc.)
The way the program is set up is such that you could technically travel for the entire year and the kids won’t miss school since the programs run concurrently and follow the same syllabus in all the different locations. The kids and parent groups will differ depending on who joins which country, but they’ve got fixed “terms” of 3 months in each location.
It was an awesome experience, and we can see ourselves doing this for the next 2-3 years. Once the kids are a little older, then we no longer need to keep them occupied in school/daycare and can take them for more adventurous travel like road trip across Europe, camping, hiking, etc. But for now – this is an enjoyable option for us. Not sure if you’d consider doing something similar?
Sounds like a great arrangement! Please share what this school is. I’ll happily check it out.
What was your route to FIRE in terms of occupation and how much you needed to leave work behind?
Cheers
The program is called “Boundless Life” – Boundless Life: Education, Homes, Community for digital nomad families. It’s not cheap – but at the same time, considering HCOL cities like NYC/SF – if you choose to take a year off and spend the entire year traveling with them spending 3 months in a different country each time; it might end up cheaper than living in a HCOL location full-time.
Was in strategy consulting. Got to the point when passive income was 2-3x annual spend, plus had money set aside for kids’ education, medical costs for family, etc and paid off all debt before taking the leap.
Nice! Will check it out. If it costs less than $88,000 – $130,000 a year for two kids, then I’ll be saving money.
Didn’t realize strategy consulting paid so well. I’ll also have to dig into that more as well. I remember my friends who went to McKinsey and Bain often wanted to go to banking instead to make more money.
I haven’t FIRE’d yet, but I also am spending February break on the chair lift with my kids. We can finally ski the whole mountain together as a family, and it’s great. It has been easier to transition to a lifestyle company and set my hours than to exit my field completely. The downside is that I have to wake up early this week to work a few hours, then check back in the evening. But, knowing I have enough money to FIRE helps me say no more often now at work and prioritize time with the kids. Also, my kids are so busy with sports that we can’t just take off an entire summer. I think that ship sailed when my oldest was about 10.
Good stuff, thanks for sharing. Working early morning and night is great! It’s what I do with my writing, usually from 6 am to 8 am. Then I check emails sporadically or comments during the day.
I’m hoping my kids will want to hang until they are 12. But perhaps 10 it is!
As a sports lover and competitive tennis player, I’ve done a lot of research on youth sports. I even coached HS tennis for 2.5 years.
Very eye opening and fun! However,
Realistically, not great prospects for our kids to become professional or get college scholarships.
There are many days I wish we had never gotten sucked into youth sports, but it is a big part of their childhood and social lives, and even rec and high school sports like football start in July. It’s hard to get away for more than 4 weeks in the summer.
Sam, for your question about school vacations increasing – I do agree that they have more time off than they used to. However, I will say that school calendar you shared is ridiculous compared to ours.
Key differences:
you have two additional days off during Thanksgiving break.
3 lunar new year days and that’s not a thing where I’m from.
A February break – we only have a spring break.
So I’d say your school has atleast an extra 2 weeks off compared to most schools(atleast in Nebraska).
I’m glad you have a flexible schedule to accommodate!
Thanks for that perspective! You have buttressed my point that it sure seems like there are a lot more vacation days today for my kids then when I grew up.
Interesting to know that you don’t have a February break along with an April spring break. I’m on the chairlift now and I guess I do appreciate these breaks to spend time with my kids. At the same time, I do wonder about learning loss or not learning enough so it’ll be up to their mother and I to supplement with further education.
Sam. I have read various blogs of yours throughout the years. Many are constructive, informative and useful. This one felt a bit…out of touch. As a 27 year old who has taken all the “right steps”, having kids AND fire AND traveling AND a vacation home just does not seem reasonable for myself or 99% of my peers. While I am happy for you and yours, this outcome is so rare and an ever more diminishing probability. It takes massive privilege to even have a chance at all these things. I think for most college graduates, having kids and fire is a high goal, let alone all four outcomes.
The post might be out of touch for you, but I can assure you that this is something a lot of people who want to FIRE and have kids have debated and considered.
Having kids is already tough enough. But then t not having kids because of the desire for financial freedom I think it’s a mistake if you want kids. This is a key point: kids Trump having FI. Try to look at the nuances of this post instead of just think it’s not for you.
Plenty of people told me 10 years ago, 15 years ago that a lot of my net worth targets by age were not achievable. But then through consistent saving and investing, so many of them have come back to me and said they achieved these targets I set out.
Everything feels tough in the beginning. But the power of compounding and consistency really starts to build after 10 years. Hang in there.
Don’t forget the last portion of my post that talks about fire being absolute now that there is so much work flexibility. Take in the possibilities. Finally, please remember I have about 20 years more of time to save, invest, and earn. If he must compare, then compare yourself to other people your age.
I was able to take 2 years off from work to spend as much time as I could with my spouse and kids. It was great in the first 6 months. Then, I started getting a little bored during the day, when the kids were in school. Then, I started needing time away from my spouse and kids because I saw too much of them. Well, 2 years later, I’m back at work, but working part-time…about 3 days a week. I have found the perfect balance. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You just have to find that balance.
We have 3 kids under 5. Our current plan would allow us to FIRE in 5-7 years.
My main concerns with FIRE are:
I used to worry about not being able to demonstrate work ethic to my kids. But it’s actually really, really easy to do. First, I do a lot of landscaping and rental property maintenance, which I’ve now had them do with me several times.
Second, I can show them when I do three days a week with a new article on Financial samurai. And then there is my upcoming book that took 2 1/2 years to write and edit: Millionaire Milestones.
You will most certainly find fun and interesting and productive things to do once you fire. The bigger challenge is actually BOTH parents saying goodbye to a steady paycheck while you have kids. It sounds a little irresponsible, but not if you have planned financially.
We pay $2500 a month for a silver healthcare plan for a family of four. You just have to pay money and account for healthcare expenses in your FIRE budget.
Taking care of young children well takes an enormous amount of time and energy. I emphasize the word “well” because sure one could put their kids in front of screens for 4-6 hours a day, but that’s going to stunt their development. Children need a lot of interactive play and learning to really thrive. They don’t need to be entertained every minute of the day—time alone is definitely beneficial in its own way. But they have a lot of needs that take attention, planning, and logistics.
They’re definitely is trade-off between being present with them and playing with them and putting them in front of a screen. I’m not sure if I watched too much TV growing up, but I did watch cartoons. I don’t know how much is too much screen time. If it’s educational, maybe why not?
Sam, being financially independent you are fortunate to have the time to spend with your children during this stage of their development. What are you and your wife’s plans for future vacation breaks when your children are in middle and high school? Will they want to spend their school breaks with mom and dad?
I’ll find out when they get to that age. I’m hopeful our relationship will be strong enough where they’ll want to really explore the world together then. The “return on travel” would be greatest if they appreciate history, language, and different cultures.
I enjoyed going on cruises in middle school with my parents and grandparents. So much fun! B/c we were living abroad up until I was 14, every country felt like an adventure.
How about you? How did your children feel about vacationing with their parents as middle school and high schoolers?
I don’t know yet. Age wise, my situation is similar to yours as I recently turned 48 last December and both of my girls are 5 and 7. My wife and I have taken our girls on plenty of vacations since they were born. Although with my government job I am limited to 6 weeks of vacation time per year… that gives us just enough time to hit Spring and Fall breaks, and 2 to 3 weeks vacation during summer. Some years we may alter between Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks as well.
I plan to reach financial independence when they are 12 and 14. By then, we should be able to devote their entire 2.5 months of summer break to traveling in addition to the their other break periods. Hopefully by then they will have more of a appreciation for experiencing the different cultural influences when they travel.
The kids age is 12 and 14 would be a great time to FIRE.
If you can successfully take six weeks off a year without career jeopardy, then I think you should just continue to work for as long as possible, especially if you can get a pension.
One of the key points of this article is that I think traveling for eight weeks a year with kids is plenty. So that’s just two weeks more a year that you are currently traveling and vacationing. So I’m not sure it’s worth giving up your job with Benefits for two more weeks of ideal, travel, and vacation time. Of course, you might think three months or longer for traveling is more ideal.
But I say the travel gets old after a while, especially as we get older. Once we’ve seen one thing, we’ve seen a lot of things.