Micromanagers are the worst! Dealing with micromanagers is one of the main reasons why I decided to fake retire from the finance industry in 2012. I couldn't take this one boss in NYC always calling in to check up on me even though I was ranking well with my clients.
There's probably nothing more annoying for an experienced employee than to be micromanaged. I'm sure someone who is new to work finds being micromanaged just as annoying, but at least the boss has a good excuse. The novice could really mess things up without proper supervision.
Out of roughly 100 people I spoke to who were interested in leaving their jobs or had already left their jobs when conducting research for my book on negotiating a severance, roughly 70% of them said the main reason why they wanted to leave or did leave their jobs was because of a difficult boss.
The boss was either unfair, unpleasant, uninspiring, or a micromanager. At the end of the day, people join and leave people, not firms.
What Micromanagers Do To Employees
If a boss micromanages, this is what he or she is doing to his or her employees:
1) Undermines
2) Demotivates
3) Creates self-doubt
In other words, micromanagers are horrendous bosses who will likely lose all of their employees over time.
One reader wrote in about dealing with their micromanager,
“Sam, I'm dying here! My firm recently hired this hotshot 30-year old MBA graduate who thinks he knows everything. He used to work in recruiting before getting his degree and this is his first job working for a tech firm. I'm 34 years old and have been working here for five years. Recently, he's been on my ass about checking all my work, telling me how to do my work, and asking me every time I leave my desk for more than 30 minutes. I can't even take a dump in peace out of fear he'll start questioning my whereabouts! I've got way more experience than him, yet he gives me no respect. What do you recommend I do?!”
Meet him in the garage after work and deal with the situation like a man by kicking his ass! Was my initial thought. Anybody who shows no respect for their elders should be taught a lesson. But of course, we're not living during the time of honor. We're living in the time of “what have you done for me lately”.
I truly empathize with the reader because losing autonomy was one of the main reasons why I left my job. When you've got plenty of other means to make a living, working for a micromanager is NOT WORTH IT. But for those of you who have no way out yet, this post will discuss strategies on how to deal with micromanagers so you no longer have to feel miserable coming into work.
Why Do Bossess Micromanage?
It's very easy to just be bitter about someone who makes your life hell, but if we can better understand WHY your boss is a micromanager, we'll feel better about ourselves and be much more adept in handling the micromanagement situation. Here are five reasons why your boss is a micromanager:
1) Inexperienced or fundamentally insecure.
Every single micromanagement incident I've experienced is due to the fact that the boss is relatively new to his or her role. With inexperience comes insecurity. There is a need for the boss to understand every single thing the employee is doing in order to sleep better at night.
As is the case with the reader above, his boss is a fresh MBA graduate who is under intense pressure to prove to his bosses he is the right person for the job. Because the new MBA graduate doesn't know jack about the industry, he is micromanaging in order to better understand what to do.
The more experienced the boss is, the calmer she is because she'll have seen similar situations before and know what to do.
2) General neurotic tendencies.
If your boss suffers from OCD, she may have a higher tendency of being a micromanager. There is simply a chemical imbalance that prevents her from trusting others or trusting a situation thoroughly.
There is also a high correlation with insomniacs and micromanagers. Insomniacs can't stop thinking about things which worry them so much they can't sleep. If your boss has neurotic tendencies, then there's unfortunately less you can do to help fix the situation because it's up to your boss to fix her own situation.
3) High performers.
In order to be the boss, you usually have to be a high performer in your field. But the problem is that companies too often promote high performers who aren't great bosses. I see this situation happen all the time with the promotion of top tier sales people into managerial roles.
There is a different skill-set involved in becoming a good boss. High performers expect everybody else to match their performance even though everybody has a different way of doing things.
4) Not busy enough.
If your boss has nothing better to do, then s/he'll will often try and make work for themselves and for you. One time I had this boss in NYC who called me about a $35 client lunch bill. I regularly took out this senior client to a local Malaysian lunch.
He was calling me from NYC for this tiny bill when he supposedly had 50+ people to manage. What a joke! Especially since our per head entertainment budget is $200. This boss was fired a year later. When bosses are underperforming at their own jobs, they tend to ratchet up the micromanaging. Beware.
5) You're simply messing up.
If you were doing your job “perfectly” you would be micromanaged less. The issue is, the definition of “perfect” might be different between you two. Take time to understand exactly how your manager likes things to be done and write them down.
How To Deal With A Micromanager
Now that we can better empathize with the micromanager, here are four simple solutions on how to make the situation better.
1) Defer and let them do your work.
This is called the “judo move” where you simply use your boss's force to help you win. Bosses feel better about themselves after they micromanage. Therefore, you might as well let them do your work to perfection for you. Thank them for their guidance and let them feed their OCD.
I noticed this boss who kept saying she didn't want to encroach on another colleague's work. But he continued to encroach anyway. It was the strangest thing.
My colleague simply deferred everything to her boss by letting her do the work for her. All was good and my colleague was able to stress less, do less work, and still get paid the same six figures.
2) Lower your manager's expectations.
If you can adeptly play dumb and demonstrate you know enough to not get fired, but don't know as much as you really do, then your micromanager will slowly accept your new lower standard.
It's when you over-deliver on a low hurdle where the micromanager will suddenly start thinking to themselves, “Wow, Tom is doing a great job!” and slowly leave you alone. Definitely clarify exactly what your manager wants so you can come close to giving them exactly what they need.
Happiness equals reality minus expectations. If you're always desiring the best, you will surely be more disappointed than the person who is happy with average.
3) Help them get busy.
If you can help your boss get more work and be better at her job, then you are helping yourself because she'll be too busy to micromanage you. If my boss in NYC actually had something to do, there's no way he'd bother grilling me on a $35 client lunch bill.
Promote your boss to other senior people. This way, you make your boss look good so s/he can be distracted by other things. Think about a burglar throwing a juicy t-bone steak at the German Shepard watchdog in order to break in.
4) Build trust.
What's most disappointing about a micromanager is that despite your experience and demonstration that you are an outstanding citizen, they still don't trust you to do your work. If someone doesn't trust you, that's a personal insult if you are a trustworthy person. No wonder why the large majority of people who want to quit their jobs cite problem bosses as the #1 reason.
With work-from-home commonplace now, more people are working less hours a week. Some work-from-home tech employees have taken things too far and work only two hours a day from home! As a result, more bosses are micromanaging because more employees are slacking off.
5) Anticipate what they want.
A micromanager is like the OCD guy who can't leave the house comfortably without worry whether he turned off the lights and shut off the stove. So he has to get out of his car and go back to check. If you can successfully update your manager whenever you do something via e-mail, phone call, or text, you will lessen his or her anxiety.
As an employee, please review these career-limiting moves.
If You Are A Micromanager, Do These Things
Perhaps you're reading this post and realize you're a micromanager. The first step to fixing a problem is recognizing you have a problem. Congratulations! Instead of beating yourself for being a horrible, neurotic, untrusting person who makes other people miserable, look to fix your mistakes.
1) Spend time knowing what drives your employees.
Money is seldom the #1 reason why employees quit. You are or a lack of recognition. Hence, it's important to sit down with your employees who you think need micromanaging and understand their strengths and weaknesses. Develop not only a professional bond, but a personal bond on some level.
Maybe you share a love for travel, dogs, cats, or sports. Find that common link because once your employee feels that connection, they will ultimately do a much better job because they care for you professionally and personally.
With a decline in merit-based compensation, you need to be strategic when it comes to building relationships to get ahead.
2) Incentivize with a sandwich.
The delivery of criticism is very important. I suggest using the sandwich method where you first recognize them for parts where they did well, offer areas for improvement, and then finish off with more recognition of another part well done. Nobody is going to feel motivated if all they hear is criticism.
You must constantly recognize your employee's efforts for them to want to give you even more effort. Send out a group e-mail highlighting their efforts. Praise them during the next group meeting. Take them out to lunch. Pat them on the back and simply say, “good work.”
Encouragement goes a long way and it's free.
3) Establish consistent checkpoints.
Instead of being on your employee's ass every day, simply establish a once a week 30 minute check-in to see how your employee is doing. Use this meeting time to thoroughly understand the issues.
Go through point #2, and do your best to stop micromanaging until this next meeting. Make it clear that if your employee needs help that they should come to you.
4) Get better at your job.
Micromanaging is born out of insecurity and distrust. The better you get at your job and the more confident you are with your situation, the less you will micromanage your adult subordinates.
Negotiate A Severance And Be Free
Bosses who micromanage are like zombies in The Walking Dead. They might be curable, but it takes patience and understanding because they are often blind to their actions.
The best bosses in the world recognize your strengths. They put you in a position to utilize your strengths. They also check in every once in a while to see if you need help. Too bad there aren't more classes to help teach new managers better managerial skills.
If you can't get your boss to stop micromanaging everything you do, then you must figure out a way to get the hell out of there by negotiating a severance package. Your micromanager is a plague who will infect everybody eventually or get fired himself. Take matters into your own hands before it's too late.
Make A Change If You're Miserable
In 2012, I negotiated a six-figure severance package worth six years of living expenses. It was my catalyst to break free from Corporate America for good. I didn't want to deal with a micromanager anymore. As an employee, you have more power than you think.
If you quit your job, you forfeit your right to a severance, to unemployment benefits, and to COBRA healthcare. Check out my book, How To Engineer Your Layoff. It will teach you how to leave your job with potentially money in your pocket.
It's the only book that teaches you how to negotiate a severance. In addition, it was recently updated and expanded thanks to tremendous reader feedback and successful case studies. The book has been extensively revised multiple times to incorporate more case studies and feedback.
Use the code “saveten” at checkout to save $10. Negotiating a severance was my #1 catalyst to retire early.
Be Your Own Boss
If you just can't deal working with a micromanager, then consider being your own boss. It’s been over 12 years since I escaped Corporate America. I couldn't be happier thanks to starting Financial Samurai in 2009.
Being your own boss is a lot of work. But it's worth it because there's nothing better than working hard and seeing a correlation with effort and reward. I would never trade going back to Corporate America for the lifestyle I have now. This is even if I made triple the income from work.
It's never been easier and cheaper to start your own website, and therefore your own business. Everybody should plant their flag on their internet and at least establish their brand online.
Once you have your own website, you can find new job opportunities. You can find new consulting opportunities, sell your own product, or sell other people's products and earn a fee.
Instead of letting Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter get rich off you. Own your own brand and get rich off yourself. You will naturally attract people you want to work with thanks to your website.
With the economy facing uncertainty, more people are starting their own businesses on the side. It's the easiest way to make money from home and escape a micromanager. The global pandemic has proven that having an online business that can't be shut down is the way to go!
Please develop your X-Factor well before it's too late. You always want to have as many options as possible. Life is too short to work with a micromanager!
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My boss (also in finance – is the CEO) has a different version of micromanagement. I’m trying to get my head around it. He will not sign off on anything or provide input – says to “work with the team” or “work with the board” … so I do. And then he seagulls in and shits on it, thus requiring a re-do. It is impossible to gain traction. the impact is that I am afraid of attacking big projects as I know they will be a pain fest. the trait of his has been noticed by others. He’s very bad at saying what his goal is, or if he does it is this rambling blue sky type deal and when I try to triangulate in to identify actionable goals and targets – he dismisses and says to ignore. On top of this, if I provide a goal or a possible course of action he resents it and says how much he knows about it already – but for some reason hasn’t implemented it for whatever reason. And then the worst is when I actually want to get a point across he talks over me and keeps at it until I stop talking. Yet he always has the outward appearance of kindness, what I feel is that I am disrespected. I’m at the end of my career (60 y.o CMO) and he’s CEO and I don’t actually want to find another job as this was allegedly a downgrade in stress from previous roles. My skills are so generalist I’m not really seeing a self-employment angle for myself. Any ideas?
I have a slightly different dynamic. I am being trained by another colleague who had been performing my role while the team searched for somebody. I’m a mid-career and an experienced hire, and this is a contract role that is a tryout to see if it could be something more permanent. I completely think it’s important to learn the company culture and “the way” things are done. Sometimes though, even simple tasks are being repeatedly checked. Changes/edits are made to my work without any feedback. Sometimes, I’m just generally ignored. I want to keep in everybody’s good graces, and I don’t want to make waves. Should I just suck it up and bide my time until I can land a permanent offer. My manager and dotted lines superiors are all super happy with my work so far and I don’t want to lose that goodwill.
Micromanaging is terrible, I hate when people do it. I think a lot smarter way to manage your team is by using a good team management tool, for example kanbantool.com . I think it will benefit both sides :)
I am at a complete loss how to deal with my micromanager boss. The level of micromanaging is so significant that I now put in over 60 hours a week to complete work that used to take 40 under the previous boss. I am no longer allowed to manage my own time – it is constantly interrupted and all work must flow through her. I’m considered a “key player” and yet because she is so insecure I am no longer able to take meetings or even have phone conversations with people outside of our department without her permission or involvement. It got to the point the woman actually told me that I was not allowed to be away from my desk without my personal cell phone – even in the bathroom. I do not need to be active online at all times to do my job – but the minute I go “inactive” on Skype, she is sending text messages on my phone asking if I am gone for the day. My productivity is completely in the tank. How does a Director have that much time on their hands to micromanage at that level?!!!
Not sure what line of work you are in, but I would get the hell out as soon as you can.
I am struggling with this exact same issue! My boss is constantly micromanaging me. I have worked at the company for nearly five years and despite my boss admitting on various occasions that he (and the company) couldn’t survive without me he is on my case 24/7 when he is in the office, delegating tasks that I’ve done for nearly five years and can do with my eyes closed. He never considers what work I have to do that he isn’t aware of (even though I try and tell him) he just thinks about the tasks I have to do that is he aware of and questions why they haven’t been dealt with quickly (being ignorant of the fact that I’ve always got a list of at least 30 plus other things that he thinks the magic fairy does). He is also super impatient, he’ll ask for something to be done and if it’s not done then and there he’ll get annoyed or say I’ll just do it myself. He evens stands right behind my back watching me do things so that I’m forced to do said task then and there even if in my opinion it can wait whilst I do something more important. He doesn’t seem to understand how much I have to do as part of my role or trust in the fact that I am prioritising the things I feel are more important (despite telling me he does). He is also very militant (ex army background) (for example we are not allowed the radio on at work, can’t chat too much with colleagues unless he instigates said chats etc.) I’ve not taken any form of break during a working day for a good few years as although he technically doesn’t ‘stop’ you he’s got a way of making people feel guilty for doing so. I feel like his management style and the way he is in general makes my job ten times harder than it needs to be and stresses me out massively. It’s really affected me as a person, I’ve developed a horrible anxiety at work and I’ve just become a very serious and grumpy person. I have never had issues like this in previous employment and previous bosses have always appreciated I can do my job and left me to do so but with general check-ins and meetings to discuss anything that does fall under the normal ‘day to day’. He is the complete opposite! Several times we’ve had chats about his management style and I have plain as day told him he is causing issues by his management style which is having a big impact on employees, morale and productivity etc. He says he understands each time but within a matter of few days he’s doing exactly the same thing. On a couple of occasions we’ve had major disagreements and he’s pushed my buttons so much that some heated discussions have been had. But still nothing changes, when I try and make a point of being abrupt and standing up for myself he says I’m being difficult or having a bad attitude and then it genuinely makes me question if I’m the problem. He can be nice when he wants to but that far from counteracts all of the above for me. I feel all of this has massively knocked my confidence. I have been desperately searching since March for a new job but due to the current situation there are no good opportunities about and I also live in an area where well paid jobs are hard to come by (I’m being paid a decent salary at the moment). I feel like over the last 5 years my boss has sucked the life out of me. Sorry for the essay!
I have been with my company for 19 years. During that time, I have had 4 supervisors. The first supervisor started me off on a tight leash, but I was straight out of college and needed to learn the ropes. Once she saw I knew what I was doing, she let me run with it. The next 2 supervisors were laid back. They knew I’ve been here a long time and knew my stuff. The last supervisor is my micromanager. Before she became my supervisor, we worked great together for years. Then, 2 years ago, she became my supervisor. Everything changed. I felt like I couldn’t do anything without going through her first. I would get an email directed to me, cc’ing her, and she would forward the email to me within minutes of receiving it, telling me to answer the email. And then when I pull together the information for that email, I can’t send it without her reviewing it first. For years, if I have a doctor appointment first thing in the morning, I’ll start early & make up any time at the end of the day. First 3 supervisors said, as long as I made up the time. This one said I can’t start beforehand, and that I HAVE to make everything up at the end of the day. The most recent issue with her is with an email I sent out yesterday. I sent an email to my backup (on vouchers), who I’ve been training, saying, “per our conversation, I’ll schedule the vouchers to go to you every other week, so you can keep on getting hands on experience. I will schedule you for the following weeks…” I cc’d my supervisor so she knows what’s going on. She responds with, “Please discuss these matters with me prior.” This was something my backup requested so she could continue doing & learning the process before I go on vacation in 3 months. I told my supervisor that, and I still yet have to receive a response. I’m hoping to get out of here sooner rather than later. If I have an exit interview, I will definitely let them know why I’m leaving.
Hi there!
I found your website in my frustration towards my boss, the director of the preschool I work in who is a lovely, caring person, but who is also a micromanager.
My latest issue is this: I have a challenging child in my class and my boss and I were both in agreement that it was time to reach out and request another conference with the parents to help the kiddo get back on track. She asked me if I would stay after work and write the email, but to send it to her first and she would forward it. I spent about 40 minutes carefully and thoughtfully writing my email. Being the classroom teacher who works with this child 5 days a week, and with an MAEd and 18 years experience in classrooms, I can deftly manage this task.
I just checkef up on the forward and my boss changed SO much of the email around that it wasn’t even many of my words and didn’t sound like me, and yet KEPT IT SIGNED BY ME! This is infuriating to me on numerous levels!! She is undermining my wisdom, deleting my personality and inserting her own, and it is literally falsifying words that are not mine, yet signed by me.
I have 14 days left of the school year and this woman is then retiring after 35 years running this school. Some people would probably say, let it go, but I cannot, based on principle. My integrity as an employee and a teacher feels questioned.
I read your advice in dealing with micromanagers respectfully and appreciate your wisdom. Any other suggestions based on my particular case?
Thanks!
One very frustrated teacher!
Hello,
I feel for you as a professional and as a preschool teacher. The role of a teacher is quite challenging, but the role of a director is equally as challenging on another level as well. As a director myself, I find that I give my teachers a tremendous amount of freedom in the classroom. However, often times, preschool teachers are not always the most articulate writers and as much as they mean well in their letters to parents, sometimes they say too much or other times, they make mistakes umm syntax and such. Just to be clear, all public schools will require you to submit letters to them prior to sending them out to parents because they want to make certain that in this day an age of being politically correct, you aren’t going to say the “wrong” thing. So naturally, they have to proof your work. When teachers send out a letter that isn’t well written, it is a reflection of the caliber of teacher, instruction and overall performance of a school. So words do matter. The other factor is that preschool teachers like to tell stories. AS much as we like to tell them, parents don’t have time to read them. They are busy with dinner, homework, bath time and more. So we need to get straight to the point and remember to say it in a positive and direct manner. Private schools are no different. I’ve worked in both and they are always worried about how they will be portrayed in a letter. You have a job because your director has to sell her school and teachers to those parents who walk through the door. Parents ask and are curious about the level of education or number of units preschool teachers have. Why? Because they want to make sure that the teacher is intelligent enough to teach their sweet child about the world. Don’t get me wrong—I wish there was less oversight of this nature, but preschools fall into a whole other beast. We are governed by the state and everything matters these days. To make matters worse, I’ve seen poorly written and worded letters from schools to parents copied and posted onto public forums. Um yeah, no pressure right?! So unless you want to give parents tours, answer questions, and sell your school to these people who are looking for “the best for their child”, don’t be offended when the director asks to proofread your work. She/he is trying to avoid potential pitfalls or questions asking for clarification pertaining to your letter.
Another micromanager?
If she had doubts about letting him write the letter, she should have not asked in the first instance.
If she didn’t like the content of the letter or she thought it would need some corrections, she should have discussed with him first.
This is disempowering and belittling your employees. Other than counterfeiting an email.
This is not the way of behaving.
I sent this article to my husband, who has a boss that micromanages him and that boss is micromanaged too. Just awful place to work and it’s involves the EMS world. I hope he finds some solace after reading your article.
Very good points for all involved.
Hope it helps and hope things get better for him!
I have always been self employed. It is impossible for me to understand having a boss. I am a grown man. I can’t comprehend a man (boss ) telling me what to do and how to do it. I could accept guidance, but a boss.
A boss is similar to a slave master. I realize I don’t know what I am talking about, but having a boss is demeaning to me. I hope I am not being offensive.
I have employees, but I don’t consider myself a boss. My employees never quit. Never. What I know as an employer ( not a boss ) is give my employees more responsibility and a higher level job than they think they can handle. It is then a matter of pride for them to master a position they did not think they could handle. They are proud to tell their families how important they are at work. It works great.
I believe the work place is where people grow. Turn them lose and watch them go. People grow at work. What is interesting to me, is to watch them become more than they thought they could be.
I tell people it is time to go home and they tell me they can’t leave yet. They want to finish what they are working on and then they will leave.
Last thing. Sometimes other employers ask me how many sick days do my employees have. This is a dumb question. Obviously, as many days as they are sick.
If life in a corporation is as bad as it sounds, I hope you make them pay 20% above the going rate. You deserve that and more.
Charles,
You sound like a great employer! Wish there were more like you!
Natasha
Now thats the best thing an employer could do for his employees and i bet your employees dont abuse taking sick time or anything like that becauce your loyalty the work force needs more like you for sure thats awesome. My employer just suspended me for 3 days because i called in sick 3 minutes late after starting time i mean really after all the training ive done getting the new hires trained all i said was thank you for stabbing me in the back like that i appreciate it 11 years of service never had an issue with anyone until they made the office lady my boss she micromanages me for everything so needless to say ill be unemployed right before Christmas this year Merry Christmas to me for time served
Agree with Natasha! There needs to be more employers like you, who believe in being leaders who empower their employees versus bosses who just want to boss around and control their employees!
Michelle
Im 115 days into my employment with a wonderful business. I have been working in the print field for about 1 and a half years which is how i landed this new job when i moved. The business is wellness driven and treats emoloyees with the upmost respect… except for my team leader. He is only my boss since its a small company. The first 90 days was a trial/probationary period so I busted my butt trying to be the best employee I could be; soaking up information like a sponge. I believe I have proven I understand the expectations of the job along with admitting my faults when I truly feel unsure about something. Ive noticed as time goes on and less reworks appear……. the more my boss breathes down my neck. He writes out every little detail of what needs to be done, the order, when, and from which machines it needs to be done with. He constantly will stand behind me and watch my screen as I do projects so he can try to catch mistakes before they happen. If he cant find a mistake then he tries to change the approach I have. Since its so close to my 90 days yet, I am unaware if I should confront him, give more time, or go to HR to try and calm this situation down. Im not paid jack for this position since its considered a lower skilled job i suppose. I am not paid enough to be micromanaged but I actually care for what I do day to day.
To add fire to the flames, I dont believe I am the problem because he snapped for no reason on a coworker from another department. He started screaming at the employee to get the hell out! When he didnt, he physically started pushing and shoving him out the door. Any other place Ive worked would have instantly fired you for workplace harasssment.
This is the top reason I have not confronted him. Im a bit nervous I suppose. :/
“Bosses who micromanage are like zombies in The Walking Dead. They might be curable, but it takes patience and understanding because they are often blind to their actions.”
Have you even seen the walking dead???
Every episode. And, I know the ending.
I have recently been put under a particular manager after my boss was laid off after 38 years. I worked for her for 7+ years and basically learned the job from her. I am considered a “ccordinator” and the field is volunteer management. Since no real plan was in place when they walked my boss out of the building, a director of a completely separate and different department “inheirited” me (her words). She said all the right things the day of my boss’s departure, but since then has micromanaged all my work. She comes from the world of data, stats and reporting, and though I have some database experience, the majority of my job has revolved around relationship building. In order to learn about my department, my new boss is requiring me to gather all stats and data on every single thing my job touches. I can do this, and will do it, but I have reached a point where I now second guess just about every decision I make, realizing that her approach is so different than mine. I definitely do not feel that my years of experience in this field are taken seriously. I worry about “down the road” as she wants to add to parts of my job without any added staff to adequately ensure success. My old boss’s position is not being filled; I have to also cover that, run the day to day operations of the office, oversee a current group of volunteers that number close to 160 (year round it is closer to 450), and now spend a large part of my time gathering data to justify our existence. It has been just a month this week with this new management set up, and I feel I am at the end of my rope. Just when I think I have handled something well, new boss again points out more issues….I know my strengths and unfortunately, see those being cut down each day; I also am very aware of my weaknesses. I have reached a point of feeling intimidated and am losing my self confidence. I question literally everything I now do. Losing hope. Those around me advise sticking with it, that “this too shall pass.” I am concerned I won’t survive till the end of the summer, much less till the end of the calendar year.
You missed the no. 1 reason for micromanagement – the lack of a plan. Managers have to be micromanagers when they can’t give their underlings a view of where they are going. Ipso facto, micromanagers May have been high performing individuals, but they are awful to work for and do not make their employers successful. If your boss is a micromanager, look for a new job.
Huge wisdom in this.
Huge wisdom.
Micromanagers are insecure bullies
Thank you for this article, and thanks to the people who have responded. I am so glad I am not alone in suffering a micromanaging (female) boss. IMO they are nearly always female and it is mainly females they bully, lets be honest that is the real name for what they are doing, but I have also had two male micromanagers and my husband had to leave a job he loved because of a psychopath male manager too.
I am female and aged close to 60. I have had a lot of jobs in a number of different industries, and it has always been the micromanaging mainly female bosses that have caused me to leave. The pattern with them never changes and I am surprised there are so many of them and how destructive they can be. I don’t know how to cope with them so the easiest way has always been to move on – and I suppose that is what they count on. It amazes me that there are so many “managers” who have no idea how much they demoralize their employees and how it affects their whole lives.
Two years ago I started in my current job and it was like a dream come true and I loved every day at work. This year a contractor brought in the implement a new system that integrates with my work has become more and more controlling of my daily work. She is constantly questioning and scrutinising and correcting everything I do, even though I have been doing this for years and she is new to this work. I am feeling resentful, angry and hostile, (which is really bad in a workplace), as well as sad, completely demoralized and incompetent at everything (when I know I am not) and hating my life every day, even the weekends. I really don’t want to leave another job, as I really really love this job, and the workplace and I know that at my age I will have trouble finding another position, plus this job was so perfect before. It is also very difficult to be confident at job interviews from such a low point in self esteem.
I love working and I am definitely not ready to retire yet, but I wonder how I will cope if this goes on much longer. One of the worst things about this is that she is a lovely person and on a social level I thought we were friends. Now I have deleted her number from my phone as I reaize we were never friends.
All I can hope is that she will get bored and move on, but I know from past experience that this rarely happens. Micromanaging control freaks are tenacious and never give up. Once they find someone they see as a victim that is reacting badly to them or worse still standing up to them, they redouble their efforts and increase the pressure. The sad thing is that senior managers generally think the micromanagers are doing a great job as they are very good at engratiating themselves with the bosses.
I used to think maybe it was me that had problems, but when I came to this job I had autonomy, respect and responsibility and I was good at my work and I regained my self confidence and was very happy. Now it is all totally shattered and I am angry, miserable and doubting my abilities again, now that I am again in the orbit of another micromanager. I thought that was all behind me.
What to do now….
Hi there. just try and remember that you are good at your job and that it’s the micro managing bully who gets pleasure out of making others feel incompetent.
I’m in exactly the same position, I’ve been working for the past 32 years in various industries. I’m not thinking that I’m fantastic at everything I do but I do know I can do my job well.
I have never worked in a job where I feel so incompetent before. I became a little upset the other day at work and a co worker asked me what was wrong..(we are not allowed to talk to each other at work) I told her my issue and she said that she feels the same way. It made me feel a little better that I’m not the only one being treated like that.
No one needs to be treated to the point that you lose your self confidence and start doubting yourself. I’ve decided that I don’t need their money that badly and will not be returning. I would much rather be poor and feel good about myself than deal with that daily
I have another job at night same industry (hospitality) went to a meeting and without asking they have offered me more hours and I’ve only worked there for 2 weeks. Great bosses who can see I’m capable.
DON’T PUT UP WITH IT. THEY HAVE THE PROBLEM NOT YOU!!!
Hi everybody,
awesome article! Totally helpful and I agree with your evaluation, I will try some of your suggestions, and I am also teaching him to be a better boss. The only difference now, now I
have a better idea, why he is the way he is. In my case he is clueless, and expects perfection, yet is unable to exhibit the same perfection in his work.
Thanks
Have an awesome day.
Micromanaging is the absolute worst. I have been blessed with great bosses over my career.
However in my current role as a Product Manager, we brainstorm a lot. My boss is a good person but has a very annoying habit of ‘Yeah but’ that drives me nuts. The ‘Yeah But’ syndrome is related to the micromanaging malady in my opinion. I think its the brainstorming version of it.
Often when just trying to set the stage and reviewing previously agreed to facts, he will even ‘Yeah But’ them before you can even get to what you wanted to talk about in the first place! lol
Cheers
One Dad
Having been in my job for 18 years where I have been very happy in a stable team also with long term history. A few months a new manager was employed and since then the whole dynamics has changed. We are constantly micro managed with her even wanting to learn all of our jobs. Graphs and plans have been put in place to gauge productivity and individual meetings have taken place where we have been told we are negative. One employee has left due to her micromanaging. I had a breakdown at work because of it and was given counselling sessions yet even though this was happening I was called into a meeting and told I was not meeting expectations after being monitored, other Job related things were also highlighted. This is after 18 years of high ranking appraisals and feedback from other staff members who I work with. I had an emotional breakdown and walked out and have not been back since am currently suffering from severe anxiety and have been signed off work. I cannot imagine going back the idea brings on so much anxiety. It is so sad to see how one person can demoralise and ruin a brilliant team why do management continue to allow this to happen even when it has been highlighted to them. Why do they never listen to long term staff but believe what the manager says. At the end of my tether don’t know what to do. It has helped to know I am not alone.
I was bullied and micromanaged by my project manager boss (let’s call her Amber). After 9 month of putting up with this abuse and multiple reports to HR and 3rd party agencies, my fortune 400 company denied it was an issue even though other people came forward. HR refused to listen or intervene or listen to collaborating evidence. Unbelievable. If I had been a woman and the manager a man it would have been a big deal. But the VP only promotes and protects other women.
Sorry to hear about your situation. Your last statement regarding your manager hiring only woman is just the way things are. Check out this latest post I wrote on Diversity in the workplace and how it is so not diverse.
https://www.financialsamurai.com/is-diversity-really-necessary-in-the-workplace/
I am working as a favor to a friend, she is great but a bit unexpereinced in running an office. The woman she has for an office manager lacks some serious people skills as a manager and micromanges every little thing including how I should answer the phones.
She kind of treats me like I am 12 and have no idea how to do anything, when in reality I am older and more experienced than she will ever be.
She is driving me crazy to the point where I need to confront her because I cannot work under these conditions but I am not quite sure how to without offending her or the woman that hired me I cannot take orders from someone that has never done my job or has no clue of my expereince, skills or work ethics.
For example, coming to me on a Saturday, (we are opne for 4 hours on Saturdays) 20 minutes before it is time to lock up and go home for the day and insisting that I pick up on the project I have been working on during the week and before I can say no, she throws the work on my desk for me. I hate people like this, what can I do about it?
No – just no. We have a micromanager who refuses to let talented people do jobs that will take stress off of her, who is totally incompetent and keeps asking the other attorneys she works with what to do, because she is not competent, yet insists on doing things that are not part of our process designed to let the attorneys be attorneys and the staff handle the small stuff. I am not about to pat her on the hand or back or whatever, because she should not be working here, needs psychotherapy for her rampant insecurities and her obsessive need to control others who know a hell of a lot more than she does about what is going on. We have all tried to help her fit in, but she’s become the pain in the hind end that preparation H won’t remove. It’s not me, darling, it’s you, and I’m NOT going to tolerate it.
so im in micromanagement torture now. I took this new job 3 months ago. I am in accounting. Work wise it seemed easier than i was doing, the money was 15k more, so I figured why not. The interview process her boss said she was tough but fair. I should have ran then.My first week 3 people warned me about my boss. Vague warnings so I didnt know what was coming. Then it came out. Basically she tries to manage every small detail. Heres some of the examples. Typing an account balance into excel. If 50 numbers make up the balance, u have to type each individual number into the single cell. It is the most inefficient thing. Another item I got handed back to me because my excel column was too big. Well one centimeter too big. Along with a note explaining the importance of column length.
Wants to be copied on every single email I write. Have to hand in basic account analysis only to constantly get them back because she doesn’t like the font size. I have gotten to the point of catching her correcting her own corrections. I have over 13 years experience and feel like a child.
That wasnt even the bad part though. Now it just became I’m spoken to in a demeaning manner and is constantly condescending. Because I cant keep up with the ridiculous micromanagement demands. I draw the line at disrespect. I have been walking around the office pissed off for 2 weeks.
Im at my end and want to quit but financially I wont be able to survive for long. I just keep reminding myself I’m the 4th person in this role in less than 2 years and she is not well liked in the office because its so difficult to work with her. As well as looking for another job ASAP
Sorry to hear about your situation. Can you talk to your bosses boss and highlight her concerns? Being the fourth person into yours should signal that there are some management issues.
I would consider doing some side hustling and take control of your future by branding yourself online and starting your own website to find new opportunities on the side: https://www.financialsamurai.com/why-you-need-to-start-your-own-website-today/
I already spoke to her bosses boss. It went ok though coming back from meeting we had to walk separately so we weren’t seen together. I think management knows and is sympathetic but there’s limited things they will do.
I will take a look at starting website. Im finding myself so beaten down during week that by weekends I just want to sleep and do nothing. Really think for own health need out of this situation quickly.
Good. I hope she gets the picture! If she doesn’t, she will be next on the chopping block.
She is incompetent, it is that simple. If she wants documents produced in a certain way she should get a template/master document setup, with the correct department formatting. The fact that she doesn’t know this and is instead undermining her staff shows she she doesn’t know what she is doing.
I am a temp, who also works in accounting, and I am also having issues working with a micromanaging, condescending person. This person is not my boss, but is my boss’s right hand, who is training me.
I casually asked her one day how I was doing performance-wise. She said I was their best temp ever, and that I was doing a great job. And she gave me an assortment of reasons. I felt great that day.
But literally, the very next day, and for the next week, she never ceased to make it known at very opportunity that I did not understand my job, and that I wasn’t measuring up.
There was an item I had researched extensively, and I knew what the issue was and how to resolve it. I had the backup to prove my conclusions. But anytime I tried to explain my research, I was just point blank told that I didn’t understand. I was never given the opportunity to explain how I arrived at my conclusion. I knew I fully understood what to do with this item.
Any time I have ever taken an item to her that I have questions about, she simply takes it from me and never allows me to show her what I have done to research it. She tells me she will look into it, and makes continual promises to review it with me one day, but never follows thru on her promises.
And the other day, we finally had a discussion. I thought she was going to discuss those items I had questions about and those items she thought I didn’t understand. No, this meeting was to tell me once again how I am not measuring up, not to discuss the items she had taken from me. I had brought some additional research I had done with me to the meeting to discuss. But she told me she didn’t even want to see it, accused me of being a know-it-all, and once again told me how I am incompetent and don’t measure up. She said she is the one training me. Well, as part of this training, shouldn’t I be able to have an open discussion with her on anything that I am working on, and have my questions answered? I said I know I have a lot to learn here, and definitely am not a know-it-all. I know I am not the boss, but her insecurity and incompetency is rearing it’s ugly head.
And I am certainly not the incompetent person she wants everyone to believe. She is now only going to give me the easy work. She said she can’t trust me with more complicated items. And I enjoyed trying to figure out the more complicated items. I loved the challenge of being able to use my investigative skills to solve issues. Now my job is turning into a less challenging, less motivating one, and that is what she wants. I think she wants me to quit. This doesn’t help the department or the company.
She has me CC her in every email. And I have to come to her before sending out any emails. And also she is having me forward every email to her before I send it out, so that she can revise it before sending it out. She said it was because she doesn’t understand the emails I send out, so she claims. This really angers me, given that I always make certain my emails are error-free, clear, concise, and easy to understand. And if you were to see her emails, they are full of grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. I really don’t trust her revising my emails.
And also she is also having me not make any phone calls until I run it by her.
Funny that these restrictions only began the day after she told me I am doing great, that I write good emails, that I am really good on the phone, that I understand my job, that I ask all the right questions, and that I don’t need to be retrained like past temps.
And I wonder about those past temps. Maybe they weren’t as bad as they were said to be. Maybe they ran into the same issues with this person making them appear incompetent. I am told this company has gone thru a lot of temps, and that statement alone makes me wonder.
Every night I come home upset from my job because what I thought was a great opportunity is now a lose-lose situation. I really enjoyed this job up until a week and a half ago. Now I am being overly stressed out, my anxiety level is up, my motivation is at an all-time low because of her behavior. I have become depressed over my job. I am not a happy worker, and as an unhappy worker, I won’t be a productive worker either.
I am at a loss as to what to do. I want to bring it up with my boss, but I don’t know how best to convey this issue to her.
Bottom line is micromanagement is bad for a business’s bottom line. It costs companies when great, but unhappy, employees leave because of micromanagement.
Well considering you probably won’t last there because of the stress dealing with this person, and I totally relate, I would speak to her boss and explain what is going on in the most diplomatic way you can. Having you send her your emails for review before they go out is an insult to your intelligence and definitely would take away motivation. Most people that work in accounting are independent thinkers and workers. She is squelching your spirit. This sound very much like a situation where I loved my job, was doing great, and then they hired “the controlling bitch from hell”. It sounds a lot the same.
I’ve worked for my boss for 13 years. Small company of 8. He was never a boss until 3 years ago when we became our own entity after our parent company folded. I answer phones, do payroll, HR, vacations, 401k, new employees, make sure employees have what they need and are taken care of. Putting out client fires, ordering lunches, travel, expense reports, credit card bills, UPS and mail, and so, so much more. My boss today emailed me he was “Putting together an employee salary, benefits, vacation time and sick time, need your input can we do this first thing in the morning?” Now, I’ve done this for 13 years. I just want to walk out and not look back! He’s basically saying, “I want control over this now.” Which is ridiculous. He’s out 5-6 weeks a year, comes and goes to meetings week after week, etc. His ability to perfect a spreadsheet on this is comical, however, it’s insulting and demeaning. I’m the only female in the office and trust me, it’s. Boys club! I enjoy working but not for a micromanager and someone who thinks their sh^+ don’t stink! What are your thought?
I say work with him this once, and see how it goes. Use this opportunity to highlight your experience. Set some boundaries in the process if he pushes you too far. Ask about his role.
I think micromanaging only works if you are an air traffic controller or surgeon where a little mistake could cost a life. Or a teacher working with developmentally disabled people working on a project where they need the extra help and hand holding. Other than that it’s very difficult for most people to deal with especially if it’s from a new manager coming into a company. I once had a new boss who came from a very corporate environment. His first week he said that something he learned was to come into a new company and observe as much as he could and understand why things were done a certain way. Even though he might have ideas on being more efficient or changing things he recognized that people did the things the way they did for a reason and he wanted to understand that first before changing anything. That was one of the best bosses I ever had and at the time I didn’t realize how wise that was. Ironically a year later he hired a manger who was the complete OPPOSITE of that. She came in like the Tasmanian devil trying to change things left and right literally berating people for not doing things the way she thought was right even though things had been done a certain way for years. I can understand if she had a memo or meeting about implementing changes but she just expected everyone implement her exact work style The problem was the establishment was an extremely laid back environment (think hippy smoke shop) and this new manager was from a corporate financial background. She made it the most horrible environment ever, people quit left and right. In the end higher managers ended up having to employ a survey company to give employees surveys of the managers (her) to find out information because they did not want a lawsuit if they fired her. The surveys brought forth a trove of information from about 10 different people that ultimately allowed the managers to ask her to leave.
I can’t sleep at night since my company made a project manager a people manager. She even tried to tell me to change the way I take notes and she invents false stories to attempt to push off her micromanagers control freak ways onto others. She treats everyone like a second grader. Just because you can marginally manage projects does not make you a manager of people.
Please Help:
I need an answer regarding ADA issue:
On a performance appraisal, my supervisor mentioned that the blinds to my office were closed. I commented back on the PA and said that it was “due to personal reasons and I would request and ADA accommodation if necessary. Please ask me if you would require me to request one.” So I told my employer to please ask for one.
I have Type I Diabetes and do not want people looking into my office when giving shots, checking insulin, or taking a break from fatigue.
Now our “Internal Operations Manager” decided to take in upon herself to NOT ask me or my supervisor of the issue. She took my PA to out legal counsel, dug into my medical and personnel files and found out about my Diabetes. She then came back to me and my supervisor and said that SHE HAD FILED AND ADA REQUEST ON MY BEHALF TO KEEP MY BLINDS SHUT. My supervisor said she had not issue with it and that we had an understanding. I told the Operations Manger that, “No, I am not requesting an ADA accommodation as my supervisor and I have an understanding.” But she filed an ADA accommodation request on my behalf when I directly told her not to. I told her that it was none of her business and that it was the employee’s job to file for the accommodation.
So she filed it anyway without my permission. I don’t even know what the reason was for why she filed it. She just said, “We have decided to accept you request for accommodation.” I DIDN’T FILE FOR ONE.
Q: Can the employer, on their own behalf, file an ADA request for an employee? I directly told her to NOT file the request. I would file for it if my supervisor deemed it necessary. Plus the information came from a performance evaluation.
So now she, as the IOM and not the HR director, know all about my Diabetes and other health issues.
Did she break the law by automatically filing the ADA request without my permission?
Please Help.
Yes, I was micromanaged for quite a few years, but I reported directly to the executive vice-president of my company. To compound the problem, she never could explain what she wanted, so if she asked for A, she’d blame you for not doing B, and if you did B, you’d find out you were supposed to do Q, until it finally became clear that something like A was what she really wanted.
I had originally decided to retire at age 67, which would be this coming September. But a little over a year ago, I got yet another phone call asking me to come in for a meeting which I knew would be another grueling micromanaged session going over the same damned things we had gone over five times already. Something in me just snapped, and then and there I just gave my two-week notice. Haven’t regretted it since, but the thought of what I had to endure for years from this control freak can still make my blood boil.
[…] But I’m talking about doing the extremes, like going to business school for three years while working 60 hours a week, instead of taking a two year vacation from work. Or saving 50-75% of your after tax income every year. Or starting a side hustle that takes an extra 20 hours a week that might one day grow large enough to tell your micromanagers to screw off! […]