I believe in personal responsibility. So should you. If we take responsibility for our actions, we will end up wealthier and lead better lives.
If you father a child, you had better step up and take care of your child until they are adults. None of this “see you later” nonsense while you shack up with someone else and neglect child support.
If you want to make the varsity squad, you must practice long after the official practice is over. Blaming your coaches for not liking you when you lack the skill to hit a wide serve or run a sub-seven-minute mile is delusional.
If you find yourself in a lot of consumer debt, blaming rich people or the government for your spending habits won't get you anywhere. Instead, you must dramatically change the way you view money and cut up your credit cards.
If you've been breaking car windows and stealing what's inside and get caught, accept the punishment. Do the time, pay the fine, and work on yourself. Don't hire a lawyer and blame your actions on your upbringing. Reach out to every victim and offer to pay for what you did.
If you own a dog, pick up after it. Don’t pretend to be on your phone and not see as your dog defecates in front of your neighbor’s house. Be respectful.
Yes, my thoughts on personal responsibility may be radical. But the world is too competitive not to take personal responsibility seriously, if you want to get ahead.
We all make mistakes—goodness knows I have. But since nobody is going to save us, we must save ourselves!
The Lack Of Personal Responsibility And Appreciation For A Friend
Here's a great comment by Yetisaurus, a long-time Financial Samurai reader who has shared amazing insights over the past 10+ years. This comment was left on my post about awkward money situations. It was the catalyst for writing this post and made me wonder what happened to personal responsibility and appreciation for others?
Helping A Friend Who Lost Her Home
I’ve had a couple of awkward money situations come up. The most awkward was when a friend of mine was losing her condo to foreclosure. She wasn’t totally irresponsible with money in general, but she made some choices that I wouldn’t have, and when her husband lost his job, they didn’t have enough emergency savings to get through. This was around the time of the housing collapse.
The good news (for them) was that they were able to stop paying their mortgage, and the bank took ages to actually foreclose. I think they basically got two years of no mortgage/no rent out of it. When the condo finally foreclosed, they were approached by the buyer and offered cash for keys to move out. They would get more money if they were able to move out quickly, so I offered to let them stay at my house for a month or two while they found a new place. They agreed, got paid, and moved into my house.
My friend offered to pay rent, and I thanked her but declined. I said that my goal was for them to be able to get on their feet and move out as quickly as possible, so charging them rent would have actually slowed that process down.
An Uncomfortable Living Situation
It was so stressful. I am used to living alone with my two dogs, and having an additional three people (their son came too) and an additional dog in the house was a lot. Their son broke the blinds in one room (an accident), they broke my lawnmower trying to help with chores (another accident), and my kitchen was always in use because they cooked constantly.
I gritted my teeth, spent a lot of time at the gym or just hiding out in my bedroom, and started counting down the two months.
Christmas came the next month, and even though they had “no money,” they bought their son a brand new (not luxury, but not super cheap either) guitar. She said she just felt too bad for him to miss out on a Christmas. I said I was pretty sure he would understand (he was 18, for crying out loud) that their family was having a temporary struggle and that Christmas might need to be more modest this year, but she insisted that she wouldn’t deprive him.
At the end of the two months, there was no moving activity. I asked my friend what the status was. She said they had applied at some places but hadn’t been approved anywhere yet.
I gently reminded her that my offer was for a month or two, not indefinitely, and that it had been two months. I said it wasn’t personal, but I’m an introverted person, and it was just hard having three additional people and an additional dog in the house. She said they would ramp up their efforts. I said okay, and just keep me posted.
The Start Of An Awkward Relationship
My friend was kind of distant after that, but I understood. About a week later, there was a small moving truck at the house, and they were loading up their stuff. I said, “Oh, I didn’t know you had found a place.” She said they just found one and were able to move right away, so they were going. I said okay and offered to help load the truck, but she said they were just about finished.
They moved out, and I barely heard from them again. Her other son got married a few months later, and they invited me to the wedding, but it was super awkward. I was basically trying to act like nothing happened. I gave them a nice gift and even ran out to get more beverages when they ran dry, but my friend was pretty stiff and distant, so we hardly talked.
After that, I never heard from her again.
The Bribe And The Entitlement
Her husband called me a few months later, saying he was selling solar panels now, and he wanted to know if I was interested. I said I wasn’t really in the market for them at the moment, but thank you.
He said, “If you order them, I bet I could get [friend] to come over so you can hang out again. I know things got awkward between you two before, and this would probably thin the ice.”
I asked him why things got so awkward, and he said, “Well, you basically kicked us out with no warning.” Then I said that I had given them a 1-2 month timeline when they first moved in, and they just went past that without even talking to me about it, and then they moved abruptly without even discussing it. He said his wife didn’t see it that way.
Anyway, I declined. The last thing I needed was to try to rekindle a friendship by bribing her husband with a solar panel contract. We haven’t spoken since.
What Is Going On With Some People These Days?
Yetisaurus was clearly more than generous by offering two months of free housing to a friend, her husband, and her son in need. If she was feeling a little awkward, surely her friend was too by invading her space for so long. But maybe not!
Her friend's lack of personal responsibility made her feel entitled to outstay her welcome. Her friend showed no thoughtfulness or sensitivity to the inconvenience Yetisaurus had to endure. As a result, they are no longer friends.
Not being super grateful to Yetisaurus is one thing. But trying to get Yetisaurus to buy solar panels to rekindle a friendship is another. The friend was absolutely clueless in saying, “Well, you basically kicked us out with no warning,” when expectations were set for one to two months of free living.
When someone says one to two months, you had best try to get out of there after one month and not stay past two months. Heck, I start feeling bad after staying at a friend or my parent's place for more than four or five days.
Thankful For People Who Lack Personal Responsibility
The silver lining to this story is that people who lack personal responsibility are the reason the rest of us who do can get ahead more easily. These people are so clueless and entitled that they think the world owes them something, even after already receiving help.
When your competition consists of clueless and entitled people, they simply won't try as hard. They'll also lack the emotional intelligence to help others and build strong relationships as a result.
Our lives will be easier because we will do the opposite. We will work harder than them. We'll also be thoughtful about the troubles we put others through. We'll give and help others without expecting anything in return, instead of just taking. When we get something for free, we appreciate it, instead of ask for more. In doing so, we'll build far greater wealth and have far better lives.
And when those who lack personal responsibility come at us for living in a “bubble,” we'll just nod our heads in agreement. When you encounter someone who doesn't take responsibility for their actions, there's no amount of dialogue to convince them otherwise.
Reader Questions
Why do you think some people don't take personal responsibility? How could Yetisaurus's friend not be grateful for housing her family for free for two months, but actually take offense? Do you agree that people who don't take responsibility for their actions make life easier for the rest of us? How did we get so entitled?
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Great post!
Sam, in your “awkward money situations” post’s comments, you asked me to view this story, since I had such a bad reaction to that one. It may surprise you, but I fully agree with you and Yetisaurus here. I even would agree that Yetisaurus could have accepted reasonable rent, although I also totally agree with his logic to forgo rent in order to get them out ASAP!
The only way this story would poke my sense of fairness like your tire story did is if Yetisaurus decided that the rent should be a luxury price — greater than the family could afford or would pay for their next housing — just because his house was nicer than what the friends came from. (I don’t know if it was, I’m just illustrating, and hoping that it sparks some understanding of my previous points.)
Now then, you used a very visual example here to illustrate a point: someone’s dog defecating without picking it up. Well, that’s how I feel some of your commenters treated me in the “awkward money situations” comments. After I made some thought-provoking points, they replied with name-calling and disgusting personal attacks. One even insinuated wife-beating. Really?! Because you moderate this site, those commenters are effectively your dogs… Is it not your responsibility to prevent them from defecating all over another commenter? Why did you choose to ignore that each time? “Be respectful,” you chided the dog owner in your example. Well, does that rule apply to your moderation responsibilities?
Hi Chris – I deleted the wife beating reference by another commenter that day after I saw it, where they used that example to describe you victim blaming me when a woman hit my car. FYI, not all comments are reviewed before being released if there are commenters who’ve commented before. There are a lot due to over 2,500 posts.
I’m pleased you agree that personal responsibility is important because I beginning to wonder. And I do appreciate how you continue to believe that I was wrong for asking her to replace my tire with a new one. Let’s chalk it up to cultural differences.
It’s good to stand your ground, even in light of many people disagreeing. You are also free to hold me responsible for other people’s viewpoints. However, eventually, it’s good to take responsibility for your own actions.
This is why as we get older, it’s wise to just agree with people and move on. Getting into heating arguments is a waste of time and energy. Nobody else was angry and frustrated by an unfortunate event that happened to me.
Keep that fire up! Everything is rational in the end.
Thanks for moderating that particularly egregious post. I appreciate it.
You can call it Personal Responsibility, Common Sense, Respectful, Critical Thinking, Discipline, Intelligence, Drive, Integrity, Goal setting, etc etc. In my opinion, the vast majority of the general population lack more than one of these qualities. Yes it can be frustrating dealing with people like this, however it makes my life easier in the end due to lack of competition. Sounds elitist but it is true.
Boy are you in the wrong state Sam. Here is an article about legislation going into effect where you live. People aren’t responsible because they are rewarded for it
“California is about to demonstrate what a world constructed from the tenets of critical race studies looks like. The sentencing reversal in California v. Windom is the result of a recent law that will likely bring the state’s criminal-justice system to its knees. The Racial Justice Act, passed in 2020 without meaningful public review, turns long-standing academic tropes about implicit bias and white privilege into potent legal tools. And the floodgates are about to open. Starting this year, the RJA allows anyone serving time in a California prison or jail for a felony to challenge his conviction and sentencing retroactively on the ground of systemic racial bias”
https://www.city-journal.org/article/californias-looming-crime-catastrophe
Hi Sam! How funny, I had no idea you used my comment as the inspiration for a post until I just happened to read this. I really like what you wrote here:
“Our lives will be easier because we will do the opposite. We will work harder than them. We’ll also be thoughtful about the troubles we put others through. We’ll give and help others without expecting anything in return, instead of just taking. When we get something for free, we appreciate it, instead of ask for more. In doing so, we’ll build far greater wealth and have far better lives.”
I think this is great. The only thing I would add to it is that “we will give and help others without expecting anything in return, BUT when we come across people who keep taking and never reciprocate, we will stop giving to those people.” Kindness and generosity are good things, and I think it’s equally rewarding for the giver and the recipient if the gifts truly help the other person. But when it comes to people who are “takers,” continuing to give to them doesn’t help either them or us, because they never use the gift for meaningful growth. Instead, they just blow our money, making us feel used, and threatening to sap our giving spirits. It’s hard to know where to draw the line, but it’s important. I’m still working on that.
Thank you for yet another thought-provoking post!
Kudos to you, Yeti! You are a generous and forbearing friend. I’ve found myself in similar situations, with similar awkwardness. No fun at all. Have heard similar tales from others over time. The mindset of folks who take advantage of others’ generosity with zero gratitude is unfathomable to me.
Thank you Yeti for the story’s inspiration. The saying “just felt too bad for him to miss out on a Christmas” is sadly used by many people throughout the decades. I dislike entitled people.
Sam,
I read the comment mentioned in this post and thought Y was very generous already.
Unfortunately, quite a few of my close friends have taken advantage of me over the years. Some even for vacation, countless meals, drinks, etc.. I’ve cut out those people. But sometimes even the closest to me take advantage of me or is not thankful. I would at least appreciate a solid “ thank you”. But the expectation for me to pay for everything like an entire meal or the whole tab without a simple thank you really pisses me off. Maybe I am too nice or not good at setting boundaries. I’m going to cut off a few more so called close friends.
Stories like the one described in this article have been around since time immemorial. People who don’t take any personal responsibility aren’t interested in changing.
Setting boundaries is key. Defending boundaries can be exhausting. If you find yourself exhausted by other people it’s probably because you are either frequently defending your boundaries or they are simply ignoring them.
What happened in the end of this story is what usually happens. There isn’t any understanding there isn’t any closure. It’s a reminder that with many people the best you’re ever going to get from them is away.
re: “Christmas came the next month, and even though they had “no money,” they bought their son a brand new (not luxury, but not super cheap either) guitar. She said she just felt too bad for him to miss out on a Christmas. I said I was pretty sure he would understand (he was 18, for crying out loud) that their family was having a temporary struggle and that Christmas might need to be more modest this year, but she insisted that she wouldn’t deprive him.”
The guitar gift reminds me of the time my husband’s brother (my BIL #4) was showing off his guitar to us during an out of state visit to their mother’s house (we live on the west coast, she lives in the midwest). He was explaining everything about it and how much money he had spent on it for parts and to have it painted. I agreed it was a beautiful instrument. Sometime over the course of our extended stay (at our own lodgings, not the MIL’s house), it came up in conversation that BIL #4 had broken a crown on one of his teeth. Because we are typically rather generous with our midwest relatives, I got the distinct impression MIL (and perhaps BIL #4) expected us to cough up the ~$800 for a new crown (maybe crowns are cheaper in the midwest?). My husband was leaning towards perhaps providing $500 (the cash limit from an ATM) towards his brother’s crown. But then we learned his crown had been missing for some number of months (!!???!!). I told hubby that if his brother’s missing crown bothered him so much, he should have spent his money getting a new one a long time ago rather than on blinging out his guitar. Hubby agreed and we managed to depart (escape???) for home at the end of our trip without being guilted into “gifting” $500 towards BIL #4’s replacement crown. Besides which, could we even trust BIL #4 to spend that money on a crown rather than the amplifier he wanted to purchase for his guitar but didn’t have the money to buy??? Oh, I almost forgot to mention BIL #4 is only a year younger than me; we were both middle-aged (~50?) adults at the time.
That’s the first time I’ve ever heard a brother-in-law expecting someone else to pay for their crown!
Simply doing what you say you’re going to do puts you in the top 5% of humanity these days. It truly doesn’t take much to get a competitive edge over most people.
I’m in my 40s. A high school friend has been irresponsible about her money and her career since her late teens. She has been stuck in minimum paid jobs and with a hefty student loan for over half of her life. She cannot make use of any education for her jobs. Here’s a highlight of what I know.
She attended university for a year after high school graduation. She flunked out, worked a few jobs but still could not make the student loan payments. She stopped making any payment towards her student loan without notifying the bank. The bank started calling her parents’ workplaces. Eventually her loan was sent to collection.
She seemingly could not get her own credit card. It’s not that surprising given how she paid the student loans. When we tried to buy our own concert tickets, she always needed to ask her partner for his credit card.
She had been taking further education hoping for a better job. First, she pursued an education as a medical assistant for clinics. After graduation, she refused for work night shifts so the jobs didn’t work out. Then she pursued education for 3 different fields over the years but the jobs did not work out for various reasons at the end.
In the meanwhile, she got married! She dreamed of a fantasy wedding. Her parents and his parents invited over 100 people for a multiple-course meal banquet. Both I and my friends rolled our eyes given how she didn’t take responsibilities of her money. Her parents and his parents weren’t wealthy.
She had been working in various low-skill jobs throughout the years. Her partner had a reputable job but isn’t independently wealthy. They had been renting basement apartments. With the rent rising quickly in cities, they have been renovicted twice during the past 15 years.
When I spoke to her once every year or so, she told me how her landlords were bad people, how the employers weren’t forthcoming in compensate people more etc. I hate to break the news to her how she had not taken responsibilities of her actions. For example, she didn’t know about the working conditions of the jobs before signing up for diploma program. I had no words.
All the decisions we have taken in our lives have taken us to this very moment
Sounds like only experiencing such things will make her realize the consequences of her decisions. Hopefully things will work out for her in the end.
We had a 16-person beach wedding on Honolulu. Cost about $3,000, including the lunch Buffett at Yakiniku Camelia and flights to Oahu for two.
She does not grasp the consequences for over 20 years.
She told me how life had been so stressful: adulting was hard. She’d go shopping when she was stressed. She lacked critical thinking and study skills to get out of the hole she had been in: She had trouble studying for a pre-college general business course. Without critical thinking skills, she was swayed easily by all the glossy pamphlets with smiley faces from educational institutions.
My friends and I initially thought that getting married was a way to get her out of the hole. We were both right and wrong. She used to be late for everything, but she started showing up to meetings on time. (Being on time is a good life skill to have!) Her partner also was not getting far in his career so they still had money problems.
Flunking university and defaulting on student loans at age 20 is understandable if you can correct your actions afterwards. I can no longer forgive being 40 and still fooling around.
Adulting IS hard, no doubt. But it kills me how many people are capable of doing 90% of what they need to do to succeed financially, but then for that last 10%, they go “ehh, that’s too much.” What?? Your friend went through the schooling, she graduated, and then she refused to work night shifts (temporarily, I’m sure) to get the benefit of her degree? I just don’t understand that.
I would bet that a big difference between successful and unsuccessful people is the ability to just suck it up and be uncomfortable for a period of time. There are some really great opportunities out there that I see people routinely pass up because it involves a little bit of sacrifice.
I agree on the “suck it up” part.
A reason for her not to make the sacrifice is that she took the advice from her boomer parents: Her parents believed that she should not have to undergo hardships with her education. What?? They didn’t know how many people graduate per year. I’m not talking about 20 people per year per program. I mean 200 people per year per program! You are not that special like your grade school teachers told you.
From time to time, I encounter legal adults who fail to adult. She’s not the only person. Money is one of the symptoms. They should have a normal or above IQ range, but a lower EQ. They may have problems keeping jobs and relationships. They may have issues in working with other people, conflict resolution, critical thinking, emotion regulation, communication skills or a combination of the above.
It’s just sad that she is a very nice person overall, but society demands better skills to survive if not get ahead.
For 2 years we have been providing a free place to stay for my husband’s childhood friend who travels here for his kids sports tournaments. At first I didn’t mind because the socialization for our kids was okay and my husband could see his old friend. But over time I had enough because he openly talks about how much money he saves by staying here, but never once has he offered any type of compensation to us, not even a pizza delivery or bottle of wine. Zilch.
Also, there are some choice habits that I don’t like around my kids and are embarrassing in front of my neighbours.
We are better off, so my husband always tells me to relax and we should just be helpful for the sake of his friend’s kids. Until the last stay when his friend taunted our puppy and the dog bit him. The dog also bit him on a previous visit due to his behaviour- so you would think he would be wise enough to stay away. Anyway, he became furious this time and started screaming at my husband and was very physically abusive toward the dog (13 pound poodle). He tried pinning the dog down and ended up being bit several more times with multiple lacerations to his hands. The dog was hysterical and incontinent all over the patio furniture.
I remained calm and helped him wash and treat the cuts because I didn’t want further escalation in front of the kids. Part of me, unfortunately, is familiar with these types of situations, but my husband was horrified and didn’t know how to respond.
Somehow, I won’t be shocked if he asks to stay over again in the future- but this time my husband can say NO.
I’m shocked he hasn’t even brought a gift or paid for every dinner while there!
I’m Chinese and Japanese culture, bringing a gift to a house as a guest is customary. To show up empty handed is shameful and embarrassing.
Oh my gosh, your poor dog. I’m amazed you were able to be so calm in that situation. I’m normally a very calm person, but if someone started harassing and abusing my dog, they’d be kicked out of my house SO fast….
It’s probably a good thing that you were able to treat the guy’s injuries, because people like that are often the same types of people who would sue for a dog bite, even though they’re the ones who caused it.
I hope your husband says hell no the next time that guy asks.
Yes, the visitor totally provoked the animal and proceeded to yell at us for not having a better trained dog, while also trying to physically dominate our pet.
I helped him clean his wounds because he had a small child with him and I have small children, and it seemed to be the best descalation option. He was lucky that wound care is my expertise and I had supplies on hand, otherwise he would have required the ER.
The example was fitting with the theme of personal responsibility. It is crazy that we have given this person thousands of dollars worth of free real estate to use and he doesn’t seem to know his place. If I was getting that kind of help, and needed it for the sake of my kids sports, I would certainly behave myself.
I do advocate for my kids to see a wide range of possible outcomes and personalities so that they can better scrutinize one’s character- which is one of the reasons I have been tolerating this situation. But this whole episode kind of violated the safety zone of our home.
True story. I know a guy who is angry all the time online because he can’t settle down with a woman. He goes to Financial Bloggers conferences and on cruises all the time and is always in the friend zone, as he tries to cozy up too many other female attendees. It’s pretty creepy.
If only he would get in better shape, work on his personality and charisma, and stop going on tirades online, he could find someone. But he stays angry and creepy.
Well said and so true!
I have a friend whose household income is close to $300k. They are $65k in credit card debt and keep complaining about not being able to afford property. They think the government should be doing more to fix the “housing situation” and want free handouts to be able to afford a home.
This same couple went on two separate vacations to Paris last year and spend thousands on spa treatments and personal trainers every year.
When I suggested cutting back spending to be able to afford property, the response was they shouldn’t have to change their lifestyle to be able to afford a home. They blame billionaires not paying their fair share of taxes for their predicament.
My theory is social media is largely to blame. When you only see photos of people living their best lives, your own lifestyle inflation feels justified.
I also think when credit card debt is normalized and not demonized you end up with the entitlement we’re seeing now.
Amen to this!
Just to be consistent: No student debt payoff, no free xyz unless a citizen, no freebies without demonstrable hardships – temporary or permanent, is this truly living the principal of There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch?
Good article. It’s complicated to an extent. In that very good example, there was probably alot of shame involved for the family that needed a home. Shame is difficult to discuss and not surprised that it became a relationship obstacle later unless it is talked about openly, which is difficult. Its all part of our culture where you are suppossed to pull yourselves up by you bootstraps.
Taking personal responsibility takes a certain maturity. It is easier to blame someone else or something else than looking inward (taking responsibility). And usually it is a combination. If we are in a tough situation it is usually a combination of poor decision(s), bad luck, and even truly victimized by another (e.g., predatory lending), CC fraud, etc. But even if it is legit bad luck or victimization, the person generally feels like they should have seen it coming or takes blame and feels shame.
Look at how our political folks hook into peoples shame and allow them to blame others or things outside of themselves for their predicament. One person is extremely good at this – and models it perfectly, claiming all his troubles are because others are doing something to him. And his followers eat it up, because it gives them a bogeyman to blame too. Taking personal responsibility for your plight is HARD because it makes you vulnerable.
I love this!
If it is to be – it is up to me.
Sam: Excellent message/story/example in your piece.
You mention that you are somehow extreme in your views on personal responsibility. I do not agree at all – there is a right and a wrong and your views are simply what should be done, not the exception. Unfortunately, they have become the exception in the world today for reasons I do not understand.
We have all experienced stories similar to your friend’s story where one bends over backwards to be helpful then turns out to be the bad guy. Happens all the time.
Thank you for highlighting this important lesson and reminder of personal conduct, so many people who are perhaps not enlightened by your words of wisdom on a regular basis are likely to the ones who need it most.
Thank you for all that you do.
Jim
You took the post right offa my keyboard, Jim! :D Sam, no apologies necessary for your views on personal responsibility. Those “views” are precisely what have made you (and most folks here) successful.
In so many ways, we are living off the fumes of the tremendous success and prosperity of this country in the second half of the 20th century. Too many Americans have grown up in such ease and (relative to history) wealth that they have no clue what true hardship is, and how much work and integrity are actually required to succeed.
People take our standard of living for granted. They have little (if any) sense of history— and I don’t mean history in terms of politics and wars, I mean the kind of history of everyday people. What was life like during the Depression? How was it living through WWII, whether on the battlefront or the homefront? How hard was it to live during the dawn of the industrial age? Or at any time prior to the 20th century?
People take marvels like electricity and the internet for granted. Heck, I’m grateful every time I step into a hot shower! It’s GOOD to be mindful of just how lucky we are. ‘Cause it could all come crashing down pretty darned easily. Once you’re grateful, you realize how critical it is for every one of us to carry his or her own weight to keep things moving in a positive direction. When a majority of folks cease to do that, we’re in serious trouble.
Taking responsibility for ourselves is so critical in life to our own well being, our families, colleagues, and friends. What a story. Thanks for sharing that. Wow. I would feel so uncomfortable to be in that situation. How sad that the family didn’t feel or show more gratitude. It’s unfortunate that money has a tendency to dissolve friendships when circumstances like that take place even though it all started from a place of incredible generosity. Thanks for sharing!
There’s a related issue that I find even more fascinating: Why are some people willing to put far more effort/energy into avoiding doing something than doing it? A recent example is the woman who owed you money likely had to think about how to avoid encountering you so as to avoid the money owed issue and I’m sure this took up a lot of real estate in her head for some time. And how many of us have gone through many hoops with clothes to avoid washing them because it takes “too much time”? This is why I like the two minute rule: it gets around that part of your brain and gets a lot done.
I can understand people trying to avoid responsibility and I’ve known some who refused promotions and more money because they didn’t want to deal with the extra responsibility. But in your example above, if you live for free, you best not annoy the people who enable it. Simple enough. But for many this awesome generosity becomes the new normal like a type of hedonic adaption.
I don’t know why. But I do know that everything is rational long term. So in my example, the uncomfortableness of not paying me what she said she’d pay felt less bad than actually paying the money. And then there was is a crossover point where it no longer is, and then the money is paid.
We rationally act in our best interests. Which is one of the reasons why trickle-down economics doesn’t work.