October 2024 marks one year since I purchased the most expensive house I could afford. Leading up to the purchase, I wrestled with uncertainty about whether buying such a home was the right move. For most, a home is the largest purchase they will ever make, bringing with it a mix of excitement and worry.
Some people are so anxious about making the wrong financial choice that they end up renting forever. It’s similar to those who, paralyzed by fear of stock market risk, hold too much cash for years. Decades later, they look back and wish they had bought more. If only they had consulted with a trusted advisor.
The reality is that no individual or couple needs more than a studio apartment and no family of up to four needs more than a two-bedroom apartment or house. Yet, driven by our desire for more, we often buy more than we need. And that is when we can get into huge financial trouble.
In this post, I aim to assess whether buying a house I didn’t need was a wise decision. I want to help you decide if buying a nicer house might be the right or wrong choice for you, too.
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Why I Bought A New House I Didn't Need
We bought our current home because I believe the best time to own the nicest house you can afford is when you have children. With more people living under one roof, the home’s value increases as more family members benefit from it. The home's cost is also spread out among more people too. Once the kids leave, the likelihood of upgrading to an even nicer home diminishes. If anything, you may want to downsize.
Another reason for the purchase was my decision to focus more on decumulating wealth after age 45. After 23 years of saving and investing over 50% of my income, I wanted to start spending more intentionally on things that might not bring financial reward.
Here are my candid reflections of the purchase, divided into financial and lifestyle aspects. If you're contemplating buying a home you don’t need, these reflections might help you make an optimal decision.
Financial Repercussions Of Purchasing A House You Don't Need
Let's first review the financial repercussions of buying a home you don't need.
1. Missing out on tremendous stock market gains
The problem with selling any of your investments to buy something is that there's a high likelihood you'll miss out on further gains. Stocks, real estate, and other alternative assets tend to keep increasing in value over time. It’s similar to inflation: if you don't buy your pair of shoes today, they will likely cost more in the future.
In the second half of 2024, we decided to sell a significant amount of stocks and Treasury bonds to pay cash for our home. About sixty-five percent of the cash purchase came from stocks, while thirty-five percent came from Treasury bonds. Since closing in October 2023, the S&P 500 and tech stocks have performed incredibly well.
I started thinking about all the things I could buy now if I had just held on: a new car to replace my nine-year-old one, many family vacations to Honolulu, and both of my children's college tuition for four years! Oh my, stop thinking! The opportunity cost was becoming painful.
But then I realized not all is lost because I plan to keep my car for at least another year, which gives me time to save for a new one. Our family vacations can be funded with cash flow. Finally, we've already saved aggressively in two 529 plans.
Always consider the potential opportunity cost of buying a new house. Be prepared to miss out on future gains. There are also plenty of other risks of upgrading homes beyond money that you haven't thought about.
2. Potential appreciation of the house
I bought the house when mortgage rates were near their peak and during a slow buying season. Since then, mortgage rates have decreased, and household wealth has risen due to a strong economy and stock market gains.
Based on the bidding wars I saw in Spring 2024, I suspect the house has appreciated between 8% and 15%, helping offset the gains I missed in the stock market. About one-third of the home purchase came from shorter-duration Treasury bonds, which would have only yielded around 5% after one year.
The quandary of buying a home lies in hoping the economy fares well afterward. If the economy slows, other assets might fall more than your home's value, as lower mortgage rates could help support home prices. In a growing economy, however, other investments may outpace your home's appreciation.
Ultimately, if you have a job and other investments, you want the economy to perform well after purchasing a home, despite the potential for higher rates.
3. Retirement portfolios continue to perform well
Although I missed out on some gains in taxable investments, our retirement accounts—like the rollover IRA, SEP IRA, Solo 401(k), and Roth IRAs—have performed well. We didn't tap into these accounts to buy the house, allowing them to continue compounding as intended.
The experience reinforces the importance of building a taxable investment portfolio alongside retirement accounts. It's the taxable portfolio that enables you to buy homes or generate passive income for early retirement.
When it comes to investing, compartmentalize your investments based on specific goals. Avoid the temptation to borrow from your 401(k) to buy a house. Let your investments grow and compound for their intended purposes.
4. Finally used up my remaining capital losses
I've been investing in stocks since 1995, experiencing significant booms and busts along the way. Although stocks have delivered substantial gains over the years, I've also faced considerable losses.
In my teens and 20s, I was an undisciplined investor who day traded excessively and used margin to try to boost returns. My frequent trading was largely driven by witnessing so many fortunes lost—from the Dotcom bust in 2000 to the lost decade and the global financial crisis that began in 2007. These events made me wary of long-term investing.
It wasn't until around age 32, in 2009 after the global financial crisis, that I slowly shifted my focus to long-term investing. By then, I felt defeated and lacked the energy to keep trying to outsmart the market.
After enduring another tumultuous 20% market decline in 2022, I saw an opportunity in the second half of 2023 to reduce risk and finally purchase something I had wanted since early 2022. The house was first listed for sale at a much higher price in March 2022. It got in contract above asking, then fell out as worry engulfed the market that year. Then it disappeared for 14 months before resurfacing at a lower price.
Keep a record of your stock investment losses. These losses are valuable “credits” for offsetting future capital gains when you sell stocks. If you don’t have any capital gains in a given year, you can use up to $3,000 of losses annually to reduce your taxable income.
5. The stress was intense for the first three months after purchase
I almost forgot to include this point, probably because we tend to have selective memories when it comes to recalling difficulties. For the first three months after buying our house, I was incredibly stressed. This stress led to unhappiness and more arguments with my wife.
I was constantly worried about what might break in the house and how much it would cost to fix. I also worried about potential leaks during the winter rainy season, since most home damage is caused by water.
My stress pushed me to take on a part-time consulting job starting in late November 2023 to boost cash flow and increase our savings. While working for the seed-stage startup was a good experience overall, there were frustrating moments as well.
If you push your house-buying limits to the max, you’ll likely experience significant stress during the first 3-6 months as well—especially if your spouse doesn’t have a traditional day job. When all the financial pressure falls on you, it can feel crushing.
To avoid feeling overwhelmed, you must follow all three parts of my 30/30/3 home-buying rule, not just two, as I used to believe. For experienced buyers who are over 45, my net worth guide for home buying suggests to limit the unnecessary home purchase price to no more than 30% of your net worth.
6. A nicer home is a meaningful way to decumulate wealth
If you’re a personal finance enthusiast, you’re likely an aggressive saver who loves to invest. However, at some point, you’ll realize that continuing to save and invest so aggressively can be counterproductive, leading you to die with too much. You’ll be jolted awake once you crunch the numbers in a retirement calculator.
At the same time, you’ll come to understand that buying expensive things doesn’t bring lasting happiness. Sure, purchasing a Porsche 911 Turbo might thrill you for 6 to 12 months, but after that, it’s just another fast car that you fear getting dinged. The same goes for buying a Birkin handbag or a Patek Philippe watch—acquiring material possessions rarely brings long-term satisfaction.
In contrast, buying a nice primary residence can provide tremendous satisfaction for many people while also forcing you to spend down your wealth. Not only do you need to come up with a down payment for the house, but you also have to pay for home insurance, maintenance, gardening, utilities, and property taxes. Each of these payments means money that isn't going toward saving and investing for the future.
Example of Missing Out On A Promising Investment
Because I now have a large primary residence property tax bill, I’m forced to be more careful with my cash flow. I’ve had to accumulate significantly more cash in my taxable investment account, which would have otherwise been fully invested in stocks, private real estate, and venture capital. In a bull market, this means I’m missing out on potential gains.
Specifically, I wanted to invest $100,000 in Anthropic's Q1 2024 funding round, which valued the company at around $10 billion. Based on OpenAI's latest funding round in October 2024, which valued the company at over $150 billion—up from just $85 billion eight months earlier—I expect Anthropic to raise its next round at a valuation of over $15 billion.
However, I didn’t invest because I didn’t feel comfortable having such a concentrated investment in one company after purchasing my house. As an alternative, months later, I decided to invest in an open-ended venture fund that participated in its $10 billion valuation round, with an amount I felt more comfortable with.
I realized I had a timing arbitrage opportunity where I could invest in Anthropic months later at the same valuation, but before the fund's NAV potentially revalues upward in the fund if Anthropic announces a new funding round. The arbitrage opportunity is still open.
7. You will get motivated to make and save more money
There are three main times in life when your motivation to earn will shoot through the roof. The first is after you graduate from high school or college and need to become an independent adult. Due to pride and honor, no longer will you rely The Bank Of Mom & Dad. The second is when you have kids—there is no greater motivation to earn. The third is when you buy a home, especially one that stretches your finances to the limit.
Before the house purchase, my previous jolt of motivation to earn came in December 2019 when our daughter was born. But just like everything over time, my motivation slowly faded. Once I got into escrow, my motivation to make more money surged back to its most intense level. I also found legitimate ways to delay the close of escrow to buy me more time before the bills started coming due.
I sought consulting work, explored more business opportunities online, and took greater risks with my investments. My riskier investments might not ultimately pay off, but my desire to replenish our liquidity and regain my financial independence pushed me to earn, save, and invest more. This type of motivation felt almost like a wonder drug! It was exhilarating to feel so alive again.
When your back is against the financial wall, you'll do whatever it takes to survive. Your mind will also come up with ingenious ways to make more money. Eventually, you’ll rebuild your liquidity and financial stability.
Lifestyle Repercussions Of Purchasing a House You Don't Need
Now that we've gone through the financial implications of buying a house you don't need, let's review the lifestyle benefits.
1. Feels good to provide during a small window
When I bought our house, our kids were three and six. One of my concerns as a father was the risk of them running out onto the street and getting hit by a car. At that age, kids are often bursting with energy and can be unpredictable. So when I found a cozy home with an enclosed front yard, my protective instincts went into overdrive.
I had never seen a house with so much usable outdoor space and a view for less than $25 million in San Francisco. If you have a hyperactive child or one with ADHD, you’ll appreciate the value of having a lot of enclosed outdoor space to safely play.
The window for kids to truly enjoy a home's outdoor space is smaller than I thought. By the time they reach age eight, they may be regularly involved in various activities—like soccer, swimming, gymnastics, or tennis—that keep them busy after school and on weekends. By the time they get home, they may be too exhausted to play outside.
Instead of assuming your home's outdoor space will be a huge benefit from ages 0 to 18, think of it as a great asset for ages 0 to 8. Anything beyond that is a bonus.
As a father, I'm not sure anything feels more rewarding than providing for your family. Here's a conversation I had with my wife in May 2023 before we got into contract.
2. You will reminisce about how easy things used to be.
The danger with real estate is that the desire for more never ends until you make it stop. There’s always a nicer house you can buy, and these days, people are purchasing $100 to $200 million mansions in LA and Florida. Because of my love for real estate, I’ve climbed the property ladder at every opportunity. However, that’s not always ideal for your family or your finances.
Our previous home, although much smaller, would have been perfectly adequate for a family of four. It had a nice floor plan for parents who work at home. If our kids and I had never seen our current house, we wouldn’t know what we were missing.
Now I have to spend time managing our old property, which is now a rental. The tenants have already broken the kitchen faucet, and the walls are all dinged up after I spent a month meticulously painting them. They also neglect the front yard.
If you buy a nicer home you don't need, be prepared to deal with the hassle of owning or selling your old home. As long as there is love in the household, young kids don’t care where they live.
Be honest with yourself about whether you’re buying a house for your family or for yourself. You might justify the purchase by saying it’s the best way to provide for your family, but the reality might be that it’s more about fulfilling your own ego.
3. Once you buy a nice house, your vacations won't feel as nice
You'll quickly get used to living in a nicer house—probably within a year. You might even wonder how you ever managed in a smaller place. This is the risk of hedonic adaptation.
The downside is that once you get accustomed to more space and comfort, your vacation accommodations may no longer feel adequate unless you upgrade them.
For example, if you're used to living in an 1,800-square-foot, three-bedroom, two-bathroom home with a family of four, staying in a 360-square-foot hotel room with a pull-out couch on vacation will feel cramped. To maintain a similar level of comfort, you may need to pay double for a one-bedroom or two-bedroom suite.
Our two bedroom, two bathroom vacation condo in Lake Tahoe used to feel huge. But with every subsequent primary home upgrade, it feels more and more cramped. As a result, my desire for going up to Lake Tahoe has partially declined. No Toto bidets are a bummer too!
In short, upgrading your home can create pressure to spend more on family vacations to maintain the lifestyle you’ve grown accustomed to. You might also end up upgrading other things in your house to match its cost, e.g. furniture and art.
4. You'll gain satisfaction from not wasting time
Ever since becoming a parent, the speed of time has accelerated as little ones transform so quickly during their first 16 years of life. Seeing my kids every day serves as a reminder not to waste time doing things I don’t enjoy. They also make me question why people strive to retire rich when they could just retire early.
All parents want the best for their kids, which creates a push and pull between spending time making money and spending time raising them. One reason we often prioritize making money over spending time with our kids is to afford a nicer home, among other things.
I could have easily waited until 2030, or 10 years after purchasing our previous home. That was my original intention. However, after living through the pandemic with a newborn, I experienced a “screw it, let’s YOLO” mentality switch in my mind. Maybe I even went through a midlife crisis because I would be 53 years old after 10 years. I didn’t want to wait that long before upgrading again.
If you wait too long, you might never make the move. Don’t waste time. Once your kids turn 12, they'll start hanging out with friends over you. Buying a house you don’t need when they’re older may feel less rewarding, leaving you with a nice home but no one to share it with.
5. It feels great to have finally found your forever home
The average homeownership tenure is about 12 years, and the closest I've come to this was living in a home on the north side from 2005 to 2014. Since then, I've moved after 5 years, 10 months, and 38 months, always searching for the perfect place to raise a family.
Now, I can confidently say I've finally found our forever home. As long as our kids are in grade school in San Francisco, we won't be moving again—and that brings a wonderful sense of relief. It's similar to finding a school that will take them through 8th grade.
When you feel settled, you’re more at ease, and with that ease comes greater happiness. You no longer need to save for a new home or spend time searching for one, freeing up both your time and money for other pursuits.
It may take several tries to find your forever home, but once you do, it’s like reaching the final level of a game and winning.
Poorer Financially, But Richer In Satisfaction
Ultimately, deciding whether to buy a house you don’t need comes down to your priorities. When I review my decision, I see that the financial considerations outnumber the lifestyle factors by a ratio of 1.4:1. However, I believe the lifestyle benefits hold more weight.
If you prioritize money above all else, keep saving and investing aggressively. Eventually, you will accumulate enough to more comfortably buy a nicer home if you want. But if you value experiences and quality of life today, stretching for a nicer home could be worthwhile. It’s the classic dilemma of how much you wanted to delay gratification before you die.
While I am financially poorer for not keeping all my investments in the stock market, I’m richer in terms of satisfaction. I took the chance to provide the best lifestyle for my family, and so far, the pros outweigh the cons.
Readers, have you ever purchased a house you didn’t need? If so, what reflections and realizations have you had since then? Are there any other considerations I should include in this post?
Invest in Real Estate Without the Hassle
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Founded in 2012, Fundrise manages over $3.2 billion for nearly 400,000 investors. The firm focuses on single-family and multi-family properties in the Sunbelt, where property valuations are lower and cap rates are higher. With the Federal Reserve likely to enter a multi-year rate cut cycle, the potential for lower mortgage rates could boost demand.
I’ve been investing in private real estate since 2016 to diversify my portfolio and generate more passive income. Fundrise has been a long-time sponsor of Financial Samurai, and I've personally invested over $300,000 in Fundrise to date as I strongly believe in the investment strategies.
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Yes we just purchased a house we didn’t need Sept 2024. It’s on the other side of our street 6 houses over. The price was 100k below market value, purchased from an estate in as is condition. My neighbor knew the estate attorney so it was a word of nouth off market deal. The idea is our kids can choose to live there when they are older while they establish themselves. Until then it a rental .
On the Anthropic investment you passed up…were you investing specifically in this company through Fundrise or through something like Forge? I was under the impression Fundrise just had the fund, not individual companies.
I could have invested in Anthropic during its 2024 fundraising round through the lead venture capital investor. I would become their LP. I knew a VC who worked there. I was bummed I didn’t invest at a $10 billion valuation as now there are talks of it raising at up to a $40 billion valuation.
Fundrise has the Innovation Fund that invested in Anthropic at the $10 billion valuation, which is one of the reasons why I’m investing more, as the new round hasn’t closed. However, I could have invested $100,000 all in Anthropic at the $10 billion valuation, which could be worth $300,000+ in under a year.
It’s always the ones that get away. I have been looking into the Fundrise Innovation Fund and I know they are 1,000% smarter than me, but I have unfortunately gotten use to picking individual companies and have been looking for a platform for pre IPO companies. Do you know anything about this Forge or Hiive? I have fallen for Anduril and trying to figure out how to invest individually. By the way, Go Tribe, ’91.
I haven’t heard of those guys. Now that you mention Anduril, the Innovation Fund owns that one too. I didn’t realize it was Palmer Lucky’s company. Listen to one of my podcast episodes with Ben Miller on investing in artificial intelligence. He mentions the company on it.
The thing is, I’m not letting the anthropic investment go away. I am a shareholder through the innovation fund. I just didn’t have as large of a concentrated position. But that’s OK.
Good article. We just purchased our “transition” home. Wife and I had been looking for a change ( in our early 60’s). We lived in our previous home for 25 years and raised our two boys. Our youngest who is a RE agent called and said we should look at this home with views of the canyon/pool etc. 2600 (4bdrm/3bath). Offer of 915k was accepted (stayed under the 30% of net worth threshold). It is a wonderful house although I would not call it my “forever” home. Primary residence is more of a “utility” since we all need someone to live. We put half down with money in our Treasury and are in escrow on previous home to sell at $695K. Since we don’t have a mortage on that one we will pay off the balance of the new purchase before our first mortage payment is due and still have money to put back into Tbills. Although i reduced my liquidity by 250k the move is basically a transfer of assets. Two years to save that.
Higher expenses (some), but like my wife said “are we just going sit here and stare at our balances forever” I agree.
Wise wife! I felt the same way, although, it would be nice to have an even bigger balance after the continued bull market of the stock market!
“ Two years to save that.”
This is something that was very invigorating to me as well. I know I have a challenge to regain my financial independence by December 31, 2027 with all the liquidity that went into the house.
When we have a challenge, life gets more exciting!
Congrats on the new house. How do you differentiate between a transition home and a forever home?
Our house almost doubled in price since we bought it in 2021. And the market is still crazy, as we live 1 hour away from Manhattan, prices go up almost weekly. We didn’t get the biggest house we could have gotten (what the bank would have loaned) as we are still not earning that much and, honestly, we invest heavily in kiddo’s possible tennis future. So I’d rather get her more training than a bigger mortgage.
At this age though (getting close to 50), I believe you should learn to enjoy life as well. If you do find a great house or a new car brings you joy, just do it. Especially since you don’t get into financial troubles for this :)
Haha…..”It feels great to have finally found your forever home”.
If I were a betting man, I would say you have not. Espeically looking at the track record laid out. You have found your “peak consumption” home or your “longest duration” home.
In 10-15 years, you will write an article about your decision to sell the home. It will become more of a time commitment than you want to spend, especially as you enter your golden years. You will talk about wanting to downsize “now” (in 10-15 years) while you still have the energy to do it and don’t have to burden your kids. You will discuss the many benefits of a more senior-oriented community and a better sense of belonging after the kids move out. You will talk about the safety benefits of a single-floor floor plan. You will talk about how much less stress you’ll have not having to maintain a larger yard or clean 4 bathrooms. You will talk about how you find it satisfying that another family can enjoy your home just as your family has.
“Forever home” is one of the biggest fallacies in real estate. I would LOVE to know what % of home buyers stay 25-30 years; my guess…..under 15%. Never say never, and while you’re at it, never say forever, either.
Great predictions! And you could be right. Did you go through all of these things when you retired or when your kids left the house?
You bring up a good point about the layout because it is one of the things I really appreciated before buying it. It is a layout that is very friendly for old people. No stairs are needed.
But if we move to Hawaii in six or seven years, and then we may sell our home. But there’s a potential that we could be wealthy enough, where we just keep it as our San Francisco home.
I hear you: Enjoy Your Forever Home Now, It Probably Won’t Last
We live in a small 1,100 square foot home with our family of four. Some days we dream of more space for hosting holidays, but at the same time, our cozy space has a certain nostalgia to it that has its own value.
One mindset trick I like to play is to imagine myself living in the 1800s. I look around our house and all of the absolute luxuries — lights at the mere flip of a switch. Water at the mere flip of a faucet. Hot showers. Toilets right inside the house. Instant heat controlled by little buttons on a thermostat. A refrigerator to store our food.
When I spend an evening immersing myself in that mindset, it’s funny for a few minutes but it quickly turns into genuine wonder and appreciation for my current house, and I remember it’s way more than enough. It may not be much compared to $25 million dollar mansions, but in the 1800s, and the vast majority of mankind, all the money in the world couldn’t buy what I have right now.
Nice mindset trick. A good attitude goes a long way. Thanks for sharing.
I wouldn’t say we purchased a house we didn’t need, but I will admit the house we bought had a feature that really made me fall in love with the house – which we have NEVER used over the ENTIRE 37 years we have lived here! (LOL) Our living room has a wonderful brick hearth fireplace that just cried “home” to me. Perhaps due to my fond memories of the fires burned in the fireplace of the home were I grew up. Our starter home did not have a fireplace, and after 9 years of living there I really missed having one. So in MY forever home I just HAD to have a fireplace.
You can’t drive a home, but you can live in a Porsche 911 Turbo. ;)
Very wise words! Never thought of it that way. Might have to get the new Range Rover EV model in 2025 then! Only like $180,000 fully loaded or something lol. Crazy how expensive new car prices are.
Vroom, Vroom
I’m ready to pull the trigger on a GT3 Touring. Waiting on the 2025’s to come out but may consider ’22-’24 model years.
How much does that cost?
Haha – ya, I feel you on the vacation accomodations feeling cramped after upsizing your primary. However, I still tend to be make pretty utilitarian vacation accomodations choices unless I plan to spend significant time in the room(s).
We ended up in our biggest house after the kids moved out, but that wasn’t the original plan. After the kids grew up, we downsized from 1900sf 4bdx3ba to 920sf 2bdx1.5ba and thought we were pretty cool. However, after 6 yrs of trying to continue hosting regular family and friends events at the smaller place, feeling on top of each other when working from home, missing the open feeling of a view bla bla, we stumbled across a great place with a good deal in 2018, so moved to that 3500sf 2 story 5bdx3ba w/ a ocean/mountain view and 50% bigger yard. We turned the downstairs w/ separate entrance into a MIL and rented it to a friend for a year, but didn’t like someone else in our space, so ended that amicably and now use the MIL for guests. We now both work from home and feel like we’ve got about as good of an “office” as we could hope for. :-). If needed, it’s nice to know we could always rent the MIL again to cover tax and other expenses.
Our kids are now in their 30s and both fondly recall their time in that 1900sf home. When they were teenagers, they used to gripe about how they wanted a bigger fancier house cuz ALL, ALL! their friends had nicer places. I laughed at them and told them to get a job and that they’d change their perspective when they got older. Turns out I was right. As you noted, Sam, the most important thing was giving them a comfortable home with love and that’s what they remember most.
Love the perspective, thank you! You remind me of a house that got away in 2019 in Honolulu. It had a separate structure for a one bedroom and kitchen, which I fantasized about writing from there and hosting my parents. Alas, I didn’t buy it and enjoy the pandemic in Hawaii.
“Get a job!” Love that advice and I love how they recognize your wise words now as adults.
Time flies when you’re having fun. Glad to hear you’re enjoying your home. To touch on your section on vacation – I see your point. But I’d also bet you’ll still have a great time on trips even at much more modest accommodations. Simply being in a new environment with different activities can be wonderfully refreshing and keep you out of your hotel room most of the day anyway.
I always go quite basic on my lodging for this very reason. I’d rather spend more money toward events, new restaurants, and activities than on a bed. Plus, after the trip concludes, it makes home that much sweeter, grand, and homier to come back to. Your kids may actually grow to appreciate your home even more as a result while also having fun exploring new places and things on your trips.
I’ll take the other side. We recently did a gut remodel of our house. It turned out beautiful. Pictures of our kitchen even made it into The Pottery Barn Catalog:)
Last week we went to Scottsdale and stayed at a nice hotel, one we have stayed at in the past and was always happy. It kinda felt like a dump. Hedonic adaptation is real.
Don’t get Toto Washlets. Once you go Toto, you might feel like a Neanderthal without any water spray to clean yourself!
Being able to install the wash it was one of my contingencies before I bought this house. Luckily, we were able to install as many as we needed.