The Snark Handbook is a collection of witty, snarky phrases for some good laughs.
Author: Lawrence Dorfman, some old fella with three decades worth of publishing experience.
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing, soft cover, 167 pages, $12.95
Summary: If you ever need something to prop open a door, or start a fire, The Snark Handbook
Communication skills cannot be underestimated. Give me a good communicator over a brilliant mind any day! Ever wonder how some people can respond with such quick wit? Some say it's a gift of tongue, but I say it's a learned skill that everyone can cultivate.
With The Snark Handbook, not only will you bust a gut laughing, you'll be able to insult others without them evening knowing!
The Snark Handbook Review
Please enjoy some snarky examples from each of the 14 chapters below:
Sex:
“Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.” – Bob Rubin.
Relationships:
“I had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.” -Groucho Marx.
Children:
“Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.” -Anon
Work:
“I'll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.” -Anon
Money and the Economy:
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” -Dorothy Parker
Politics and the Media:
“If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?” – Anon
Drugs, Drinking and the Law:
“The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.” -Martin Mull
Movies:
“Acting is about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.” -George Burns
Television:
“Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.” -David Frost
Literature:
“I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.” -Dorothy Parker
Music:
“He has Van Gogh's ear for music.” – Billy Wilder
Sports:
“The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play.” -Reggie Jackson
Religion:
“They always throw around this term the liberal elite. And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?” – Jon Stewart
Death and Dying:
“It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.” -Woody Allen
Conclusion
If laughter is to life, then The Snark Handbook is to toilet where you will have a wonderfully good time reading! Not only does The Snark Handbook contain a collection of fantastic quotes, it also contains snarky examples for dating come-ons, put-downs and so much more.
I haven't laughed this much since Toyota blamed their accelerator problem on faulty floor mats! That's not true. I laughed harder after watching Tiger's incredibly smooth for a robot press conference!
GIVEAWAY RULES: TWO BOOKS TO GIVE AWAY
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Keiju,
Sam @ Financial Samurai – “Slicing Through Money's Mysteries”
“It must be cozy under such a heavy cloak of ignorance…”
Nice one, for a monkey! :)
A rich CEO husband with his wife drive past a grave digger digging… well, a grave.
Him: See, you’re lucky to marry me. Can you imagine being married to a grave digger?
Her: Honey, if I were married to him, he would be a CEO.
.-= Bytta @151 Days Off´s last blog ..Day 21: A Dull Monday Morning in Australia… =-.
“1987 called. It wants that outfit back.”
Or related to this from Seinfeld.
“The jerk store called. They said they are running out of you!”
.-= Investor Junkie´s last blog ..Weekend Reading for February 28, 2010 =-.
Even Berkeley’s in on the snarks:
https://berkeley.edu/news/berkeleyan/2009/02/05_Snark.shtml
I like to point down toward peoples shoes and say, “You dropped your pocket.” It’s always good for laugh or two. :D
.-= Matt Jabs´s last blog ..How To Make Money Blogging =-.
Please excuse my complete lack of political correctness, but this always makes me laugh:
“(When asked to use “horticulture” in a sentence) You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”
— Dorothy Parker
.-= Tracy´s last blog ..The Price Of Fame: A story about about pre-planning… =-.
Wow this was so cute and totally not what I expected at all :) Thanks for the laughs, I will be amazoning that book!
It might be a skill learned, but it’s so much better when the snarks come naturally.
One I found that made me smile “Death and taxes are certain, but death isn’t an annual event. ” I’m sure you can find the right moment to turn it into a lovely snark.
“It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It’s called living.”
Another Oscar Wilde quote:
“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination”
.-= thriftygal´s last blog ..Lessons from the 2010 Winter Olympics =-.
Snarky comment for ya:
“Give me a good communicator over a brilliant mind any day!”
This must mean you like Obama. Though Obama thinks he’s brilliant.
.-= Investor Junkie´s last blog ..Weekend Reading for February 28, 2010 =-.
Ouch! Although if I’m a big Obama supporter, then thank you! And if I’m not, it’s OK. Good thing I’m apolitical!
I like the quote by Twain: “He was a senator. And an absolute fool. But then, I repeat myself”.
-Mike
I think Oscar Wilde is a master of the wit and snarkiness. One such quote would be:
“A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.”
Ha ha, sounds a great book. To continue with the Churchill theme of our earlier bantery:
Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”
Funny enough, that line is in the book! In fact, I think Nancy Astor provides a number of quotes in the book.
haha those are funny. this is my favorite:
“I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.” -Anon
Ha ha boy would that be fun to say once.
What a great looking book. I mean even the cover looks cool. I didn’t know what snark meant until my daughyter clued me inabout a month ago. Thanks for suggesting it.
Beth
.-= Beth´s last blog ..Gardening =-.
Just what I need…more distractions to make sure I accomplish the minimum. But it will make me witty, right?
.-= Little House´s last blog ..Wonderful Passive Income =-.
Sorry for the distraction. Now get back to work!
Great suggestion, we’ll need this to keep up with the FS.
Here is one of my recent favorites – The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~ Kin Hubbard
.-= LeanLifeCoach´s last blog ..Aldi – My New Favorite Store =-.
I busted out laughing at that one! Awesome,, and so relevant to personal finance! Thanks for the laugh.
I took a peek at the Amazon excerpt and found a Steve Martin snarky comment I like:
“You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither.”
I’m a big Monty Python and Douglas Adams (Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy author) fan, and love words like “snarky”. I’m going to have to find a way to sneak that word into a conversation tomorrow…
.-= David @ MBA briefs´s last blog ..Do mass firings improve performance? =-.
Why don’t you just try and use Steve Martin’s comment at work tomorrow and see how it goes? :)
One of my favorite line is “Jesus saves, I spend like hell.”- Anon. Thankfully, that’s not true for me anymore.