Wealth is an illusion of happiness. If you are not aware of the illusion, then you might suffer from delusion.
One of my happiest memories was studying abroad in Chile for an entire semester. I lived off beans and rice, and slept on a wooden plank bed. At night, sweat would bead up on my forehead until it dripped down across my temple and into my ears. It was that hot. Yet, despite having no money, I was so happy. Life was simple and the greatest pleasure I got was learning from others.
At the time, I told myself that if I could just earn $1,000/month and have my trusty camera, I'd be happy. Well, I lost my way when McKinsey gave me a job offer. Nobody turns down McKinsey, partly because nobody gets into McKinsey. The curiosity of the job compelled me to take it rather than pursue my interests.
I recognize I've been blessed with the opportunity to work for a respectable company that may one day allow me to retire comfortably. Yet, I wonder about that semester abroad in Chile all the time. A couple years ago I went down to Chile and revisited the old AC-less dorm room where I used to live. It brought back so many good memories. Afterwards, my friend and I went back to our 4-star hotel, sipped on a Mojito and ate some ceviche.
It was then that I realized that despite living in a much nicer place on 100X the budget, my happiness compass pointed towards the dorm room of the past.
CAVORTING WITH THOSE WHO UNDERSTAND
One of Sam's lines that hits me most is, “Ironically, it is the sympathy that Lyndon seeks, which makes him only hang out with people of his same socio-economic class. He understands that most of America won’t understand him so he shuns most people.“
It's hard to read, but it's true. Many won't empathize with me, simply because only a minority of people in America make $300,000 a year. I expect people to throw mud and make fun of the situation while calling me a cry-baby.
Further, I realize it is equally ridiculous to try and garner sympathy, hence I don't try. As a result, I keep quiet. I keep to myself because otherwise, you'll think I'm arrogant when I discuss buying a European automobile, or discuss last night's symphony.
Yes, most of my friends are all working stiffs who make six figures and lead relatively decent lives. We don't expect anybody outside of our circle to understand the grueling hours required to make our income. We don't expect people to understand that ever since we were kids, we were told we better succeed or else.
Many of our parents are doctors and lawyers and politicians. Yet, how many people on earth can become successful doctors, lawyers, and politicians? Not many, and that is why the pressure is immense. We are not our parents nor do we live in our parents' generation!
You'll have to forgive me, and people like me for seeming callous and insensitive towards others. The truth is, we fear backlash and insensitivity by you, which is why we keep so closed off.
In fact, perhaps this is why there are so many congregations of ethnic communities in big cities, the Chinatowns, the Little Italy's and Harlems, etc. Maybe we all fear a certain type of backlash, and just want to feel safe. The feeling of security is why investing in real estate is so common for minorities.
The Wealth Just Came
I didn't ask to make the money I make. Income growth just comes with longevity. Longevity is due to performance, which ultimately means value creation for a company. A person makes $1 million a year because he probably generates $10 million a year in revenue for the firm. There's nothing really fancy about income.
What I don't quite understand is if people want to make more money, why not just join an industry that pays well? Why not be a banker, lawyer, doctor, consultant, trader, engineer, Internet guru, Brittany Spears, professional athlete, or politician? OK, it's hard to become successful at one of these professions, but that doesn't mean you can't try.
Photography is my passion, but I realize that I'd have a better chance at becoming the President of the United States than making a living doing what I love. Yet, I still long for it, and practice every chance I get.
On weekends I scout locations for my next photo shoot. I've got a website where I'm actively selling my services. I've even planned out my next three vacations to remote locations so I can capture that rare brilliant shot. I won't stop trying.
The Decision To Leave It All Behind
The bonus check hit the bank account the other day and I've made up my mind. I cannot leave McKinsey to follow my dreams. Someone in the comments section wrote so aptly, “Once your hobby becomes your job, it stops becoming your hobby!” I'm afraid that if I become a professional photographer, I'll begin to hate the entire industry. I'll start being overly critical about my own work, and scoff at others who've been accepted.
I love photography too much to risk not loving it anymore. When Sam wrote about my situation, I was at the darkest stage of the year where I worked for 11 months without knowing what my bonus would be. Now I'm in the brightest stage of the year where I've worked for only one month and have the year ahead of me. I'm under no illusion that come March next year, I'll have a part of me that will wonder whether I made the right choice.
As of right now, I'm happy again because I know what I must do. It's important I create a realistic exit strategy and live below my means. You're right. A $4,000/month two bedroom apartment is fixable. I'll be looking to get a more “reasonable” 1-bedroom $2,500-$3,000/month apartment in Manhattan instead. A spreadsheet is open right now pro-forming my financial life over the next 10 years. All I know is I want to be done by the time I'm 40. Knowing this, means figuring out a financial plan to get there.
Thank you for your thoughts. I appreciate every single one of them. Thank you Sam for letting me gain more perspective and finding a solution! Wealth is an illusion of happiness, but don't let me stop you from trying.
For happiness!
Sincerely,
Lyndon
* This post is a response to the community after writing, “The Curse Of Making Too Much Money And Not Pursuing Your Dreams“.
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Wealth is a social tool and hardly any value comes from it personally beyond the social power it provides. Consider if you were the only person on earth and you had all the wealth of the entire planet at your disposal. It would not mean so much to you at that point and I am sure you’d be willing to give it all up to have another person to talk to. A person who values wealth above those they share it with is delusional. Once a person’s needs are met, life is about people, friendship, and shared moments. These are the things that matter most. Wealth is one way of attracting highly interesting people into our lives so that our experience of living is sweeter. The most valuable thing is a real friendship and real love. How many people have sacrificed that which matters most, in order to attain money, only to find they already had the means to be happy before they became wealthy? It’s our friends and family we value most. We might be upset about losing several thousand dollars but we can make more. We are devastated when we lose a friend or family member because they cannot be replaced. The loss is very great. I am certain that by living in a world of competitive money making and consumerism, we have lost sight of this simple and obvious truth and have begun to work against our own happiness and joy. The irony of this is humiliating.
Lyndon I can sympathize with you. In reading your post I was in the same mental state. I always dreamed of being FI and traveling and set out to do just that. I want to warn you about something that many don’t think of. I always wanted to travel and we are in the position, DH retired, I could do my job anywhere (own business) but that dream came to an screeching halt one day when my mother had a stroke. Now she needs 24/7 supervision and who is in the position to do it and pay for it. You guessed it, me. She does not have the finances to support her needs nor do my brothers and if you have money the family looks to you. I know they don’t prefer to and she never took a dime from me before but we don’t have a choice. So I pay out the *** in taxes, take care of two households and my dreams are put on hold. That said, I’m glad she is still with us but I just wanted to warn you. Make sure there is a plan for your parents because this can be in your future.
Sam, great site! I’m a big fan.
Hard to believe it’s been 5 years since Lyndon wrote this. It’d be very interesting to see an update halfway through his 10 year plan. Think that could happen?
Hi Paul,
Time flies huh? I know that Lyndon remains independent, and no longer working for corporate America, just like me.
Taking a leap is much less scary in reality!
Best, Sam
“What I don’t quite understand is if people want to make more money, why not just join an industry that pays well? Why not be a banker, lawyer, doctor, consultant, trader, engineer, Internet guru, Brittany Spears, professional athlete, or politician? OK, it’s hard to become successful at one of these professions, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try.”
Good grief–does this not sound like the asinine thoughts of Romney? Remember the debate recommendation to just have your parents mortgage their home so you can go to college? This sounds quite comparable on the out-of-touch meter.
I’m sympathetic to the fact that you don’t like your job but perhaps you could resist the urge to condescend to those many many “lucky” Americans who do not make six figures because they could not figure out how to pay for a university education in a country that offered them the option of taking out exorbitant loans, taking up arms for military actions they may or may not agree with or not getting an education. Not everyone is the child of a doctor, lawyer or politician, so maybe you could come down to earth and realize that the ticket for someone to try his hand at being a “banker, lawyer, doctor, consultant, trader, engineer, Internet guru” as you so flippantly recommend is simply not within everyone’s reach.
As you wallow, try to avoid being so asinine and out of touch. Perhaps if you were a little more realistic toward and sympathetic to the situation faced by those lucky people who don’t make a lot of money, they would be a little more gracious to you as well.
Have you lived in an emerging market? We are very lucky in American compared to 90% of the world.
You have to believe in yourself Leah. Stop blaming other people for your misfortune. I decided to make no money in 2012, 2013 to work on my writing. Now after A LOT of sweat and effort, I’ve finally started to make more money than my job as a Director in finance in 2012. But it wasn’t easy. It took heart.
I’ll add “writer” to the list that you don’t believe in. If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody else will. Being out of touch with reality is not seeing the world and the suffering all around us. Being out of touch with reality is only speaking one language and thinking it’s only your way and no other way.
Take control in 2015!
nice read. wonder what Lyndon is doing now.
I graduated from a good state university top of my class and used a recruiting service to land my first job. First at a prestigious asset management company ($200bn AUM) and then as a professsional sports agent. It didnt work out because I was not prepared to be yoked like an ox.
spent my 20s traveling the world…60 countries and counting. then met my wife and had kids and ended up doing a bunch of weird jobs in strange parts of the world.
i found my way in the end. not quite the mckinsey way but financially i probably didnt take all that much of a hit compared to if i had stuck to my blue chip career…howeever, in terms of overall happiness, all the sights i have seen, the books i have read, and the quality of friendships i got…the road less travelled, while being far riskier, is indeed the one with the higher upside
Yeah – great “plan”, but what if you die today or tomorrow? You’ll have toiled your life away doing something you don’t enjoy, never having truly “lived”. While it’s true that we can’t live with the assumption that we’ll die today or tomorrow, it will happen sooner or later. Then what? Will you look down from heaven (or above or wherever you might go) and say, “I wish I’d worked even more hours”? I don’t think so. Instead, you’ll realize how you selfishly wasted what a great opportunity “life” is in pursuit of the all mighty dollar. How pathetic!!
Hi Roshan, I’ve got a large queue of posts for 2013 already, however, if you’re still around three months from now, I welcome your perspective. Cheers
I understand that this isn’t a new piece, but great post. I just came across it and my own last blog entry ran along similar themes, just not quite as eloquently put.
I hope older content can speak to people just like the day it was published. Thx for stopping by.
Wow, this is a great post, I appreciate your sharing.
I don’t make remotely close to what you make. I make a modest salary that is comfortable for a single person to live on (in an average size town) and spend a little. The job comes with good benefits (good job security, medical, dental and a defined benefit pension plan). I have been with my current employer for ten years. I started off at a very entry level position and worked my way up to where I am today and there are still opportunities for progression. This past year I have been feeling very unhappy about my job. I dream of moving back to my home town permanently one day, become a teacher teaching subjects I enjoy and travel in the summer when school is out. The issue is I need more financial security before I do that. Though I have been working at my current company for ten years, I was never good with saving money before and my dream life style has only formalized recently (I thought about becoming a teacher for a long time but have never visualized the lifestyle I want to live). The biggest issue is I have aging parents that I want to help out with financially so I need to have financial security before I pursue a job I think I might like a lot more.
Regardless it’s inspiring to hear your story!
That was a really good post- I remember the original post but I hadn’t seen this reply.
Lyndon- are you taking pictures? Why don’t you show us some of them!
Life is short- live it the way you want. Don’t live behind a mask, don’t live behind your riches. Do what you enjoy and be authentic.
@TheDebtHawk.com
I totally agree. Don’t waste time letting life pass you by because you are too focused on one thing. There are so many dimensions to our lives and the experiences that we can have. It is great to have goals but it also important to not get lost in them. Take time for the moment.
It’s been a really long time since I read the original post, but what hit me in this follow up post is that you’re happy because you received your bonus. I realize this post was written almost a year ago. Are you still happy, Lyndon?
I think it’s pretty standard these mood cycles as his industry along with many others have a huge percentage of their total compensation in a form of a bonus.
November, Dec, January are generally the most dark months as a result bc one could get fired and get nothing! Ouch.
Lyndon, I know it’s been ages since the original post – and reading through it, I think it’s not a black and white situation…It’s a matter of inspiration. DO you believe you can make as much money as you would like, doing something that inspires you?
Is there a way to have the work at McKinsey be inspiring? Selling the clients that inspire you?
As the new year approaches, it might be good to reconsider some of these beliefs… Best of luck! M
I only just commented the previous post, and this responded to many questions I had. I wish you all the best. And I do think you might want to think about the sabbatical, just to see what you’re aiming for. Remember: retiring does not mean stopping the motion ;) Good luck!
Hey, that was so nice. I couldn’t stop reading. Thanks for sharing your story.I know, it’s difficult to leave your job, but you should follow your dreams somehow, this is the most important thing, otherwise obtaining happiness is impossible. good luck.
Glad to see you’ve come to terms with your decision Lyndon. Time will fly and before you know it you’ll have hung up the skates by 40 and you can let loose with your photography. High income earners such as you aren’t always given a whole lot of sympathy, but we’re all only human and trying to better ourselves; some people just get better cards dealt to them.
Cheers
My parents are entrepreneurs and small business owners. They put in long, long hours in the office, and especially for my dad, on the road abroad, to make their business successful. They have a nice income. They were able to put me through college, buy a nice house, and have many of the other nice things a sizable income can provide.
But growing up with workaholic parents I totally understand where you are coming from. As I begin my career I am trying to plan so that I can do whatever I want without having to worry about money. I’m 27 and I don’t make much, but I’m not chasing a paycheck, I’m chasing an independent lifestyle.
I also understand the anxiety for when a hobby or passion becomes a job. If photography ever becomes a grind, where a photograph stands between you and rent or grocery money, resentment can easily take the place of passion. I think you need to be in that place of independence, where you can take six months and not take a single photograph, or take photographs that you don’t need to sell, or photographs that may not be what the market wants because you are pushing your artistic boundaries, so that you can own your craft and not vice versa.
Thanks for sharing and keep in touch with the blog.
Lydon,
Thanks for taking the time to reply to everyones posts.
I’m sure your story here and in the original thread will impact numerous lives. Your not quitting your job, however, I would not be surprised to read that others have decided to quit their jobs or make other big decisions in their lives because of the threads about your life.
Maybe you will update us in a few months or a years time?
thanks
David M
Good post for himself learned many new things, thanks
I can believe what people say about when your hobby becomes work it doesn’t feel like a hobby anymore. When money comes into play it can take a lot of fun out of things. Granted there definitely are people out there that do what they love for a living and make decent money doing it. I would say it takes an incredible amount of patience though and an endless amount of drive and endurance. Props to those of you who are working in your dream job.
Hi Jeremy, I’m not married and have no kids, therefore my responsibilities are a little different. As a 30 year old man, I’d rather not share a place and have roommates. If I move far enough away, then yes not only will my cost of living go down, but so will the quality of my life due to a longer commute. My company offers generous health benefits.
I hope I live to a healthy 100, but I’m just planning on around 80 myself!
Thanks.
Wow, Lyndon’s really getting into this since this morning, cavorting with all these posters who no doubt earn less than he does. No real backlash was there, now?
Originally I didn’t feel a lot of sympathy towards Lyndon, because I did think as Sam described him he was portraying himself as a victim and misunderstood. Now I can warm up a bit to him, but I still don’t think he recognizes how fortunate he is. I’m disturbed by the remark that $300K is “not that much” in Manhattan, even after taxes. I know people who work and live in Manhattan who I strongly suspect aren’t earning nearly that much. I worked in Manhattan for a few years in the early 90s, commuted from Long Island, didn’t have anything like that salary (adjusted down for inflation), and I survived just fine. I’m sure Lyndon’s hours are long and the work grueling, but bottom line is for me: be grateful, and don’t rub it in how much you are earning. It’s enough to say to people that you’re doing well, but if you’re vague on the specifics, there won’t be any resentment. I assure you I have friends who are (I suspect) both earning less and more than I do.
The important thing is to find people who are intellectually and personally stimulating, regardless of their income. You write for instance, “I keep to myself because otherwise, you’ll think I’m arrogant when I discuss buying a European automobile, or discuss last night’s symphony.” Speaking for myself, I couldn’t discuss your automobile because cars don’t interest me; but I have a thorough education in classical music, and I could talk to you for hours on end about symphony, opera, chamber music, what have you, and you might just find you’re the one humbled in the end.
That’s all I want to say for now. I hope, however, you’ll link to your website so we can see some of your photography.
Hi Larry, what is your salary adjusted for inflation nowadays? I can sense your sensitivity, and I’m sorry you find that revealing my income is rubbing it in. My income is a dime a dozen in New York City and I’m trying to be as authentic as possible.
In real life, don’t worry, I don’t mention the salary to anybody specifically for fear of offending people. I try and be anonymous in the crowd, so people have no idea. You’ll have to admit that the cost of living in NYC has gotten much more expensive over the past 20 years than wage growth, or maybe not?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Lyndon, there are two things a gentleman never reveals: the size of his you-know-what, and his salary. You say you’re trying to be “authentic,” and then in the same breath you say your income is a “dime a dozen” in NYC. If you look at my earlier response today, I noted that average gross income in Manhattan, the highest paid county in the US, was variously estimated at $80,000 and $127,000. There are lots of people living and working in Manhattan who earn considerably less. Do you think the ushers at the Philharmonic, the gallery assistants in Chelsea, the security guards at MoMA or the Met, the waiters in Chinatown, the cabbies, the motormen on the #2 line, the sanitation workers, the public school teachers, the cop on the street are all earning $300K or so?
However, since that was 20 years ago, I will let you know that when I worked for a couple of years for a non-profit in Rockefeller Center, I started at $40,000, which would be $65,000 today. And $300K would be about $185K in 1991 dollars. That was during a recession and it was the best offer I had after having been laid off for six months. I’m doing considerably better than that now, but as I say, there are two things . . .
I just want you to recognize the fortunate position you’re in. You may well merit what you’re earning, but I think your comments suggest an unawareness of just how many people are struggling these days.
That said, I don’t count income alone as an indicator of how someone is doing financially. It’s also a matter of your debt, your expenses, your saving, your investing. There are many high earners who are living beyond their means and saving nothing, and while I have no idea where you stand, I consider such people to be in worse financial help than the person of modest income who lives frugally and saves well for the future.
OK, anyhow, lecture over. But to shift gears, once again I hope you’ll be wiling to link us to your website so we can see your photos.
worse financial help
Should read: worse financial health
I love the point you make about people who want to make more money but yet are unwilling to even try to do the things necessary to achieve success. It really grates on me to hear people whine about not making enough money or to criticize those who do and act as if there is some kind of secret formula to which they do not have access.
Sure, some people are born with certain inherent advantages but the beautiful thing about America is that everyone CAN succeed but not everyone SHOULD succeed.
If someone wants to spend their nights scratching off lottery tickets while watching American Idol and throwing down cold ones then that is well within their rights as an American but please don’t act as if they deserve the same level of success as those who work long hours, study hard, and take the necessary risks for success.
It can make for an amusing/irritating discourse at times though:
Them: “I want to make more money”
Me: “What do you do?”
Them: “Dig ditches”
Me: “Why not do something that has more income potential?”
Them: “I only have a high school degree. This is the only job I can get.”
Me: “Why don’t you start your own business or go to college/graduate school?”
Them: “That’s too hard. I don’t have the time.”
Me: “How many hours of TV do you watch each night?”
Them: “Just 4 hours. Why?”
Me: “Umm OK – never mind.”
:)
Although of course we could all just pretend that everyone in America DESERVES equal success regardless of effort or ability ala certain politicians that rhyme with “Bromama” “Melosi” and “Bead” :)
Hi Credit Card Chaser – Thanks for pointing that portion of the article out. You bring up some funny conversations in your comment. Maybe it’s the entitlement generation, or our addiction to quick fixes such as the magic diet pill? Don’t know.
It’s hard work making money and finding financial security. I’m glad America has allowed me to create a correlation between hard work and income. If not, I’d happily drink a cerveza on the coach, watching 24 instead.
There’s a stylized difference in the writings, so I don’t think Lyndon is a personification of Sam, but how are responses being handled? Is Lyndon channeling through you? Inquiring minds would like to know. ;)
It doesn’t appear that anyone else has brought this up, but I think Lyndon is over-looking the romanticized element of his experience in Chile. While I don’t doubt (or want to trivialize) the time had, a key component was that it occurred during college.
That age marks a distinct time when adult pleasures (not xxx, think globally) are high and adult responsibilities are low. Having the freedom to explore the world, carouse at all hours of the night, being engaged all the time by other young people, and on and on can be very invigorating. And there’s nothing to counter that high. No complicating taxes, demanding bosses/spouses, nagging children, and all those other things that tie us down and make adulthood “fun”. I would bet many others have had a similar experience from a more carefree time, and you don’t necessarily have to attend college to experience it.
Definitely the opposite of his intentions, if Lyndon really loves photography then he should embrace the McKinsey job. Although work confines him most of the year, it also affords him experiences he might not have had otherwise. He even notes 3 planned “remote” destination vacations. In terms of transportation and expense, remote usually means more expensive. This could be summarized as: many people can’t “do what they love”, but everyone can “do what they do to afford what they love”.
.-= FinEngr´s last blog ..Yakezie Weekly Round-up: Round Two! =-.
Hi FE, is there a debate on Lyndon and myself which I’m not aware? Will let Lyndon respond when he gets time.
Good point about being in adulthood, but not really.
.-= admin´s last blog ..How To Apologize For An Error? Martyr Yourself! =-.
Hmm, no just my own inquiry.
Can you expand on the second sentence. What’s off about it?
Sorry, I meant good point about being in adulthood, but not really being an adult yet since there’s none of that adult responsibility yet while in college.
.-= admin´s last blog ..Wealth Is An Illusion Of Happiness =-.
Okay – got it. Yes, that was the point.
Essentially, you’re only responsibility is studying and not getting in trouble. The reason you wouldn’t consider childhood in the same regard is you’re probably not of the mental capacity to appreciate your “freedom” and you’re still under “the man” (in this case, your parents).
Sorry, that last line was too flippant. Meaning, your parents still control most of your actions and dictate what can/cannot be done.
You’re right in the photography and traveling is expensive. My camera alone, excluding lense cost over $2,000. Each lense ranges from $800-$2,000 as well. Planes, trains, automobiles.. they all add up. It’s the price to pay for doing what I love to do. Thankfully, I have a job to support my interests.
It’s true that frankly my entire college life was a blast. That said, there was pressure to do very well in school in order to get a job. Tests were stressful, as were taking on leadership roles. The responsibility of being an independent adult is weighing, but we get over it.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Lyndon:
It was very honorable of you respect each commentator by replying individually. I am going to try my luck twice and add a few more notes.
College Pressures: Very true, but as you note above – much can be self-imposed.
Income Reality: Short story – after graduation, I was frothing with my friends’ iBanking gigs. Partly out of competitive nature, partly out of salary, I eventually realized despite their overall annual income, their hourly wage was meager.
Taxes: Various talk, have you looked into Franklin Templeton NY Munis or another firm? Sure you already know, but these funds are yielding around 3% and are exempt from federal & state income taxes.
Lifestyle Decisions: Like Simple in France shared, check out her site or others like Early Retirement Extreme or Ending the Rat Race. These are all examples of those who’ve chosen lifestyles which removes them from the system while allowing a life untethered. Ultimately it should have more to do with these choices versus actually earnings (more of a starting point to make future decisions). With a few adjustments, why wait 10 years to retire when you could do it in 7 years?
**Sorry for the long reply. I get wordy and infrequent with my comments.
.-= FinEngr´s last blog ..Yakezie Weekly Round-up: Round Two! =-.
Great to hear back from you Lyndon! I congratulate you on your bonus and your decision to stay at McKinsey. I know your plan is to be done at 40 and focus on photography then. I don’t know what it’s like to be in your position, but if I can share something with you that I recently learned…
We create our lives, whatever it is, by whatever we focus on. I believe that if photography is your passion and love, and you focus on that passion and love…you can’t not love it anymore! I commend you on your efforts to continue photography on the side! So I wish you the best and hope that you create the life that you love today and tomorrow!
.-= Kristine´s last blog ..Lost Opportunity Cost – The Wealth Killer =-.
Hi Kristine! Thanks, and I believe in what you say. I do truly believe I will love photography forever, and not just some side hobby I’ll get tired of. Hoping the best for you too!